u/ElephantsOnTurtle

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:11:44

48825 POINTS

★★★★★★★★

Porn addiction is a massive epidemic in men that society is choosing to ignore.

Porn is being promoted as positive and a sort of ritual for men these days. Its deemed by most as a positive pastime and to critique it will be met with scorn and many will see you as against sex positivity for doing so. It is seen by many as a private hobby with no harm to most, except some complaining about misogyny towards women in porn.

However, as growing amounts of evidence show porn is having immensely negative effects on men. Many are becoming addicted to something encouraged and as safe by society. Men are having problems performing in bed with their partner, reduced libidos, fetishes they did not previously have which cause shame, seeing women as sex objects solely, having to watch more intense and degrading and even violent porn to get the same dopemine hit.

Many men are also attaining erectile dysfunction where they cannot attain an erection without porn or even with porn. Studies into when people first locate porn shows most boys begin watching at around the age of 9-10. The beginning of their sexuality is being distorted and twisted in their formative years when they are vulnerable to an addiction they have no idea about. There are also studies showing that porn consumption causes anxiety and depression in its users.

There are literally hundreds of thousands of men now coming forward, largely on the internet due to the stigmas of this addiction with their stories. How has this been received? Well as a joke. An ex porn addict went on tv and told a presenter telling him his addiction did not exist that his penis could no longer get hard. Academics researching this area have been mocked and ridiculed for their research.

This problem is only getting worse and if not addressed very soon will probably become one of the greatest concerns for our society on a social level. It will possibly reach an epidemic proportion as men in possibly their millions will be addicted to something very, very hard to quit and the assistance in fixing this issue will be very difficult and very expensive.

If you are a man who has a positive relationship with porn then thats fine, but this post is to show the unpopular opinion being ignored by society.

Check out No Fap and Porn Free if you want to see what men are having to silently endure at the moment.

Edit: realized I fucked up the title. My point was that if porn addiction is not addressed and started to be dealt with now I believe in mere decades we could have an epidemic on our hands. Also I swear to god I put this in the post but if you watch porn and are not an addict I am truly happy for you. I am also pro masturbation and sex positive. My point is for a sizeable number of people porn is addictive and this reality needs to be known and we need to help porn addicts. I hope this clarifies everything.

Also thanks so much to the people who commented talking about their struggles with addiction or their SO's struggles. Also thanks to those who gave me awards. This post hit the trending page so it shows just how many people are impacted by this. I really hope we get the help and support we need.

u/mtbdork

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

5160 POINTS

If porn didn’t exist, I would just kill myself

-Person on bus ride to school

u/kd5nrh

replying to u/mtbdork

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

820 POINTS

Weird fetish, but whatever chokes your goat.

u/Bomberman98

replying to u/kd5nrh

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

258 POINTS

It is me, I choke my goat.

u/papapizzapepperoli

replying to u/Bomberman98

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

69 POINTS

Thank you Mr. Giuliani this is great work.

u/SapphireLungfish

replying to u/mtbdork

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

679 POINTS

0_0

u/GlumImprovement

replying to u/SapphireLungfish

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

136 POINTS

It's sadly not that surprising of an attitude. They likely view themselves as being unable to get any real action so to their mind if they can't even get simulated action they might decide life isn't worth living. It's definitely sad, but I can't say it's surprising.

u/PM_ME_Long_PP

replying to u/GlumImprovement

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

12 POINTS

I would too. People don’t understand what not having sex does to a guy. Men want sex from any woman. Women want sex from the top guys. So you’ll have 1 guy having sex with 5 women and 4 men who aren’t having sex.

u/grahamaker93

replying to u/PM_ME_Long_PP

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

15 POINTS

Why are you downvoted? This is so true.

u/gravitydood

replying to u/GlumImprovement

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

14 POINTS

I can definitely relate to that

u/Absoftov

replying to u/SapphireLungfish

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

9 POINTS

I feel personally attacked!

u/artspar

replying to u/mtbdork

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

150 POINTS

Sounds like a joke, I've heard that about mac n cheese but we're not seeing many easy mac addicts are we

u/MagentaLove

replying to u/artspar

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

92 POINTS

As a Mac and Cheese addict I swear it is not a problem and I can stop at any time.

u/artspar

replying to u/MagentaLove

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

13 POINTS

Awesome, let's just donate all the extra boxes then...

u/THE_PHYS

replying to u/MagentaLove

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

9 POINTS

Same (snorts line of powdered cheese)

FUCK! THERE IS NO BETTER DRUMMER THAN NEIL PEART!

u/wasabimatrix22

replying to u/mtbdork

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

113 POINTS

Sounds like a joke?

u/rocketleaguebr0

replying to u/wasabimatrix22

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

83 POINTS

to redditors, every statement is completely factual unless accompanied by a /s

u/DeadGuysWife

replying to u/rocketleaguebr0

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

13 POINTS

“I really want to kill myself! Dash ess!”

u/BangersByBangler

replying to u/DeadGuysWife

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

7 POINTS

That's a slash.

u/Lobinde

replying to u/mtbdork

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

88 POINTS

Because there's no way they could have been comedically exaggerating or joking, porn man bad

u/Depidio

replying to u/Lobinde

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

10 POINTS

Ok coomer

u/LumenLover

replying to u/mtbdork

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

42 POINTS

My buddy who is being drowned by working so much said seriously to me "LumenLover, I can't try VR because right now if I didn't have my booze and porn I'd kill myself, and VR porn is way to much degeneracy for me."

I believe him. No porn or VR porn could probably kill him right now. I tried VR porn once and it was so overwhelming and soul sucklingly emptying I quit all porn as a reaction. It took something from me that allowed me to realize what regular porn has always been invisibly sapping from me.

u/MORRISEY_RULEZ

replying to u/LumenLover

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

12 POINTS

Your friend may need to talk to an addiction counselor. He's deep in the rabbit hole and needs help getting out.

u/MiserableCoconut

replying to u/mtbdork

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:42:47

28 POINTS

now that is really scary isnt it.

u/holywater13

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

4622 POINTS

Dudes at my school go to the bathroom in the middle of class to watch porn and tbh it’s kinda sad that they can’t wait a couple hours

u/unnecessary_kindness

replying to u/holywater13

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

1693 POINTS

Honestly I have no idea how I would be as a kid living in a world where porn is every where.

I was part of the generation that grew up with porn being a discreet VHS that you'd watch with your friends when your parents were out, to something you would buffer on your 56k modem before mum asked you to get off the internet because she wanted to make a call.

By the time it got to having personal computers in your bedroom and decent internet, I was already past my horny teens, and by the time smartphones and 3G came out I was out of uni and in a full time job.

Now being an adolescent with all the porn in the world on a smartphone available instantly? That's just insane to me. I hope scientists are researching the effect of this because I'm sure it's fascinating.

u/unrealdustin

replying to u/unnecessary_kindness

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

997 POINTS

I was already past my horny teens

I'm 26. When exactly do I stop feeling like a horny teenager

u/Nigel_withthe_brie

replying to u/unrealdustin

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

538 POINTS

32, would also like to know this.

u/Kriegenstein

replying to u/Nigel_withthe_brie

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

449 POINTS

47, still not sure.

u/OutlawJessie

replying to u/Kriegenstein

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

382 POINTS

My husband is 67.

u/sammypants123

replying to u/OutlawJessie

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

684 POINTS

Only two more years to wait.

u/milked-sack

replying to u/sammypants123

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

125 POINTS

This deserves more credit

u/koebelin

replying to u/sammypants123

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

43 POINTS

69 at 69 is overrated.

u/pittgent

replying to u/koebelin

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

33 POINTS

69 is overrated after you do it 6 to 9 times

u/TheUpsideDownPodcast

replying to u/OutlawJessie

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

103 POINTS

Well don't stop him now. Time to break some records

u/GraynRed

replying to u/Kriegenstein

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

68 POINTS

Resist the urge and settle only for a real sex, it is just like ditching junk food and soda, you have probably forgotten how good it feels to be healthy and balanced.

With great love I'd recommend r/HydroHomies, r/NoFap, r/Meditation, r/GetMotivated

u/Immortal_Heart

replying to u/GraynRed

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

41 POINTS

Okay but for some people the food analogy of this would just be starving to death. This is Reddit ya know.

u/MrWizard09

replying to u/GraynRed

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

18 POINTS

Is masturbating wrong though? My urologist told me to regularly masturbate as it helps things down there.

u/TuxPenguin1

replying to u/MrWizard09

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

12 POINTS

No, masturbation is recommended for pretty much everyone with a sex drive. It’s perfectly natural and can help with some prostate issues in men.

u/PanchoPanoch

replying to u/MrWizard09

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

9 POINTS

Do it without porn though. Masturbation should not be synonymous with porn. I went 4 months without it or sex at some point and it was a mistake. The first time I tried to get back in it, rather than the explosion I was expecting my dick gave me the big ol’ fuck you I ain’t doing shit.

Keep it healthy and active but don’t rely on porn.

u/whyyougottabesomean

replying to u/GraynRed

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

10 POINTS

Yea let me just go find this real sex you talk about. Can I buy it at Wal-Mart?

u/Posdetector

replying to u/GraynRed

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

8 POINTS

Ridiculous, Why are people so fucking clueless. Masturbation is healthy and necessary for a healthy life.

u/Nazi_Punks_Fuck__Off

replying to u/Nigel_withthe_brie

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

118 POINTS

You guys are wildin'. When I was a young teen, I'd get an uncontrollable boner by thinking about the word boobs. Not even boobs themselves, just the word. I used to roll over in my sleep at night onto a rock hard boner and it would hurt so bad it would wake me up.

u/WAIST_DEEP_IN_WOMEN

replying to u/Nazi_Punks_Fuck__Off

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

82 POINTS

The middle of the word boobs kinda look like a set of boobs

u/cptntito

replying to u/WAIST_DEEP_IN_WOMEN

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

76 POINTS

B( . )( . )BS

Edit: First ever silver, shoulda known it would have been because of boobs. Thanks Reddit rando!

u/Fluffing_Luser

replying to u/WAIST_DEEP_IN_WOMEN

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

9 POINTS

"Boob" looks like boobs from every angle:
-"B" from above
-"oo" from the front
-"b" from the side

u/lillili11

replying to u/Nazi_Punks_Fuck__Off

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

29 POINTS

In your defense, the word boobs does look like boobs

u/IArgueWithStupid

replying to u/Nazi_Punks_Fuck__Off

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

17 POINTS

My dick gets hard every time the wind blows. - Eddie Murphy from something

u/onedrinydd

replying to u/unnecessary_kindness

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

205 POINTS

Internet was so slow that it used to take 20-25 mins to load one nude pic let alone porn video 😂

u/nopethis

replying to u/onedrinydd

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

98 POINTS

Haha and you would sit there hoping it was a good pic as it loaded slowly inch by inch....come to think of it suprised there were not more trolls back then.

u/Losingmyreligionfast

replying to u/nopethis

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

95 POINTS

Probably because it would take the trolls hours to upload a pic.

u/nopethis

replying to u/Losingmyreligionfast

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

49 POINTS

I can picture it now, halfway down Pamela Anderson’s boobs are covered by Joe Montana’s face....

u/INOMl

replying to u/nopethis

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

32 POINTS

Still gotta crank one out. I'm sorry Mr. Montana

u/Nazi_Punks_Fuck__Off

replying to u/nopethis

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

53 POINTS

Shit man, that was serious business. Trolling didn't really exist until the internet got fast and dense enough that people could basically live there and get bored.

u/FollowerOfWaluigi

replying to u/unnecessary_kindness

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

22 POINTS

You watched porn with your friends?

u/whippey

replying to u/FollowerOfWaluigi

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

11 POINTS

That's where the phrase "circle jerk" started. I'm not even kidding.

u/throwaway1138

replying to u/unnecessary_kindness

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

14 POINTS

I think we are about the same age. I was already out of college right when smartphones started to be a thing. I can’t imagine having a computer in my pocket with a high def screen, 5g connection, and access to pornhub, when I was 16. I just can’t. We used to have LAN parties to trade a few gigs of porn. Different world. I’m honestly not sure if it’s a good thing for kids to have instant on demand access to so much great high def porn. Not from a bogus morality standpoint but mental health. Who knows.

u/Broderlemer94

replying to u/unnecessary_kindness

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

11 POINTS

As a teen I can say two things 1.) I don’t think I’m addicted yet, as I can go without it and be fine 2.) we see porn on our phones more than on our laptops

u/CrazyPieGuy

replying to u/holywater13

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

182 POINTS

That's seems like it's more because they want to tell everyone they where watching porn during class than because they just couldn't wait to watch it.

u/Jacques_Casanova

replying to u/CrazyPieGuy

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

183 POINTS

This is the kind of denial and jokemaking this whole post is about.

u/qdolobp

replying to u/Jacques_Casanova

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

27 POINTS

Not really. As someone who also went to a middle and high school (shocker) I can say this exact same thing happened. Anyone who went to watch porn because they were actually craving it was not known. Because they wouldn’t be telling people. The only time I ever heard this was when a dude would come back to the lunch table and say how badass the porn he watched was, and how sick the whole experience was. And these people were very often the types who liked getting attention. So while I’m sure there are some out there who do go to the bathroom due to urges, they aren’t going to be telling everyone.

u/Jacques_Casanova

replying to u/qdolobp

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

33 POINTS

I’m definitely not saying you’re wrong, but addiction is often present before the user knows it. While your explanation seems to make sense, just replace it with drinking. If you end up with a middle or high schooler sneaking off to drink in the bathrooms and then bragging about it, it’s very likely there’s an addiction present. Bragging just means there’s no shame yet.

u/RiduanTheGrey

replying to u/Jacques_Casanova

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

24 POINTS

I remember a kid bragging that he drank two king cobra 40s on the way in to school, and boy did he smell like it. Related: he's not alive today.

u/PCP_GOD

replying to u/qdolobp

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

8 POINTS

I don't think it's black and white though. It's a little of column A, a little of column B. Not everyone who becomes an addict is full of shame on the way down.

u/wizman20

replying to u/holywater13

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

167 POINTS

How do you know that though?

Shit, when I go to the bathroom for like 20+ minutes to skip class does everyone think I'm fapping

u/PrehistoricPKMN

replying to u/wizman20

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

117 POINTS

Wait is that why I got weird looks in high school?

Fuck, man.

u/Shamgar65

replying to u/PrehistoricPKMN

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

72 POINTS

No it's because you're 33 man!

u/Shabanana_XII

replying to u/wizman20

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

23 POINTS

when I go to the bathroom for like 20+ minutes

For me, that's just OCD. And every single bathroom break. 😞

u/bixxby

replying to u/wizman20

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

18 POINTS

WHO'S SHITTIN IN HERE?

u/clownshoesrock

replying to u/wizman20

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

8 POINTS

Not fooling anyone here, and this is reddit, where people believe in lizard people.

u/ChuunibyouImouto

replying to u/holywater13

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:25

8 POINTS

it’s kinda sad that they can’t wait a couple hours

That's what baffles me about no nut November memes. There are so many people who act like they quite literally HAVE to masturbate 2-3 times a day, or can't go more than a single day or two without jerking off.

It's scary, how could anyone live like that and not realize there's something wrong? Like if you legit can't go a single weekend without jacking off, you should probably re-evaluate your situation and start trying to "wean yourself" from your addiction

u/Drifting_Panzer

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

2730 POINTS

Probably going to be an unpopular opinion here on reddit, but in time it might gain some respectability in society in general.

u/Lucifer_Leviathn

replying to u/Drifting_Panzer

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

922 POINTS

It works on some stuff. But the most guys at nofap make it the only reason why every bad thing is happening to them. Yea erectile dysfunction is a porn problem but a things like not able to talk to a girl happens because you have never made the effort to.

u/Sky1sFall1ng

replying to u/Lucifer_Leviathn

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

507 POINTS

Porn addiction makes it a lot easier to not make the effort to. also can increase social awkwardness / ruin , confidence etc... so it makes sense. ( this is just me listing what people on nofap say )

u/SlimeBag1998

replying to u/Sky1sFall1ng

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

247 POINTS

( this is just me listing what people on nofap say )

I can personally attest that quitting porn did improve all those areas of my life. I do still masturbate, but not as much either.

Edit: I'm not attacking anyone's lifestyle. Do whatever you want. I'm simply sharing my experience.

u/Bill_Ender_Belichick

replying to u/SlimeBag1998

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

243 POINTS

A while ago I met a really nice girl who truly changed my life. I only knew her for like a couple days and we didn't talk a lot, but she just was such an amazingly beautiful person both in mind and body. I'll almost certainly never see her again, but it was at that point I was like "why the fuck am I watching porn when there are like this out there." I honestly felt disgusted by my almost entirely physical attraction to women. I just said "fuck it, I'm done."

I just stopped any sort of masturbation. It would feel good but every time I would just hate myself. So I quite entirely. Yeah it was hard, but it built a kind of mental fortitude that I wouldn't otherwise have. Honestly, studies may not show this, but stopping all that shit has increased my self confidence tenfold. I don't know why, but now I can look at a girl without thinking immediately of fucking her and just see her for who she is as a person. Sex is not a bad thing, but personally I want to do it with a girl I truly love and who truly is in love with me. Perhaps that means waiting until after marriage, but I think it's worth it.

u/ssdgm6677

replying to u/Bill_Ender_Belichick

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

78 POINTS

I feel you. Sex with someone you love is infinitely better, and not just for the "mushy" reasons. When you love someone you want to know everything about them and when you know (and care) what they like the sex goes to another stratosphere. The sexual connection I have with my partner is so intense that we constantly ask each other how it is that sex can possibly keep getting better when it's already 100 times better than sex either of us have ever had (and we are both highly sexual people). It's so good that even though we have an open relationship we really have no interest in fucking other people. What's the point when it won't be anywhere near as good as it is with us?

Although I do like to flip through his browser history to see what porn he watches. It turns me on for some reason to masturbate to the same videos as he has.

u/poison-fang-blade

replying to u/Bill_Ender_Belichick

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

12 POINTS

"why the fuck am I watching porn when there are like this out there."

Having nice girls out there and getting into a nice, loving relationship with one are two very, very different things. To many guys, there's a huge chasm between them and many of them will spend their whole lives without experiencing such things.

u/magenta_specter

replying to u/poison-fang-blade

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

8 POINTS

I think the language we use about women plays into this a lot. Girls are considered desirable. Women are not. When every man 18+ wants to be with an 18-25 year old "girl" that is the typical age for a porn actress of course there appears to be a shortage of partners. And then instead of growing up and developing themselves into desirable men who court women, they just sit alone at a computer and lament why they missed the boat on dating "girls."

u/Bill_Ender_Belichick

replying to u/poison-fang-blade

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

7 POINTS

Totally true, and I get what your point is. For me, however, quitting porn has helped tremendously in my social life which is the first step to getting one of those girls. It helps me to see who someone is, and avoid looking at them as an object. That allows me to be genuine in all my interactions with girls, no matter whether I'm "interested" in them or not. Also, this can be very attractive to them as well.

u/CouchRadish

replying to u/Bill_Ender_Belichick

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

6 POINTS

Masturbation is totally healthy. Beating your meat like you’re trying to start a fire with it, to porn that would make a 2 dollar hooker cringe, is stupid unhealthy.

People make fun of NNN but if you can’t go a month without watching porn there’s a problem.

u/sensuallyprimitive

replying to u/Sky1sFall1ng

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

26 POINTS

Listening to the cult is not a good way to understand reality.

u/Sky1sFall1ng

replying to u/sensuallyprimitive

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

16 POINTS

I listen to personal experience tbh

u/Vladdypoo

replying to u/Sky1sFall1ng

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

11 POINTS

I’m pretty sure I also read that areas that use porn a lot have much lower rape rates than those that don’t. Probably because there’s just less gender frustration

u/Sky1sFall1ng

replying to u/Vladdypoo

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

11 POINTS

I’m pretty sure I also read that areas that use porn a lot have much lower rape rates than those that don’t. Probably because there’s just less gender frustration

Theres some studies that highly suggest otherwise, either way thats none of my business. i mean, if something doesn't cause someone issues im no one to say to cut it out. but if it does, best to cut it out.

u/HAL9000000

replying to u/Lucifer_Leviathn

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

142 POINTS

I think it's kind of complicated.

I think porn watching(I'm talking chronic porn viewing, maybe daily or many times a week, including just browsing through Reddit nudes), doesn't seem like it's as problematic as it actually is. You like to think of yourself as completely immune from being harmed by it in any way. You like to think of yourself as either good enough in how you interact with women or you at least, you think that you're as good as you're going to ever be and nothing can make you better or worse.

The thing about porn though, for starters, is that is literally takes zero effort. So first, it is so much easier than getting a woman to have sex with you. But more significantly than that, porn is so much easier to spend your time with than the patient process of engaging with a woman enough to even notice you and then to sustain that over a long period of time.

And again, our nature is to tend to not think about how our habits become who we are. A concrete example is that porn gives us a sense that we should be with a woman with a perfect body, that sex will be super exciting all of the time, that the woman will say all of the right things, that we'll just get sex because we are there, and so on. And so when it comes to actually getting sex, the whole idea of meeting a woman, talking to her, making her think you are interesting and worth her time, making her want to have sex with you -- porn makes all of those things seem more daunting than they would otherwise be. Because, again, it's so easy to get porn and so difficult to get the sex and the intimacy and all of the other human benefits of a close romantic relationship.

Then if you get to the point of actually having sex, porn makes the actual sex feel less interesting than you had thought it up in your head. And maybe the porn opened your mind up to some very weird fetishes or fantasies that you don't know if you can share with the woman you're with, and then that makes the sex seem less satisfying. And then maybe you end that relationship thinking you'll just keep looking for the woman who fits the perfect image in your head. And you probably don't find that and then so every woman you meet just feels less than your ideal, and then those feelings that your relationships are inadequate tend to drive you back to the porn. And then the porn again has a reinforcing affect of making your real sexual life seem in adequate.

And on and on and on. It's insidious.

So this is, I think, what OP is talking about: failure to recognize the gravity of the problem is a big part of what makes the problem worse.

u/CharmedThirdTry

replying to u/HAL9000000

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

22 POINTS

Then if you get to the point of actually having sex, porn makes the actual sex feel less interesting

I didn't have sex at all for the last 18 months of my marriage and then for almost another year after the divorce. I used a lot of porn.

When I finally did get a girlfriend, and we had sex, it was SO FUCKING AWESOME.

"Less interesting" isn't even remotely close to true; I had pretty much convinced myself that I didn't like sex, that I was too traumatized to enjoy sex ever again, that I wouldn't even know what to do to please a woman since my ex's sexual expectations had been somewhat off the mainstream to begin with.... All that was bullshit. We fucked like bunnies and it was the best sex of my entire life.

I think the problem is that when it comes to addiction, especially psychological addictions that have no pharmacological mechanism aside from natural endorphin/dopamine release, we focus on the external stimuli instead of the internal ones.

"Get rid of porn!" "Get rid of weed!" "Get rid of social media!" etc. But if the drug war has taught us anything, that kind of supply-side thinking is doomed to failure. There will always be another metaphorical substance for these folks to get "addicted" to, and the folks that aren't subject to this particular addiction mechanism to begin with just get shafted out of a soothing recreational pastime.

u/HAL9000000

replying to u/CharmedThirdTry

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

11 POINTS

I think the fact that you were in a shitty marriage makes you different than the typical person. People who don't have the experience of being with a woman for a long time and having bad sex are not going to see a new woman the same way you did.

u/Drifting_Panzer

replying to u/Lucifer_Leviathn

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

59 POINTS

That is a coping mechanisms. If your problem have an external source, its easier to accept and work on. If you are told the problem is you, for someone who already feel like they failed, and maybe experience some form of depression, the solution might be more extreme and permanent. Suicide among young men is high enough as it is, if we can get them to focus on one issue at a time, we can get them to a place where they are more prepared to handle personal growth and responsibility.

u/adool999

replying to u/Lucifer_Leviathn

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

7 POINTS

Idk man I stopped jerking off and 6 days later I can move things with my mind.

u/alexsamson

replying to u/Drifting_Panzer

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

74 POINTS

I feel like this is the case right now with many issues that directly affect men more than women. I think In the 2020s a lot of what men are primarily victims of (homelessness, suicide, porn addiction, justice system, etc.) will be taken more seriously as we close the societal gap between men and women even further.

u/Drifting_Panzer

replying to u/alexsamson

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

20 POINTS

You are right, or atleast I hope you are.

Makes for a interesting sideline to this discussion really. If men really benefits from the patriarchy in the way social media tends to use the word, why is those issues affecting men more so basically hidden and forgotten, in a sense? You would think we would use our influence and power to our benefit more directly. Just a thought, but maybe for another time and topic...

u/Longlostnothing

replying to u/Drifting_Panzer

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

10 POINTS

I think what people often forget is intersectionality so that things like race, social class, sexuality, disability, etc all play a role in just how privileged someone is. A white, straight, cis man will find life easier than a black, gay, disabled woman- it's just how it is. In the same way, a rich, black, gay woman will find life easier than a poor, white, straight man. Social class is a huuuuuge one people don't think of. Poor people just don't have the same opportunities that people with money do, and that's why feminism sometimes runs alongside marxism and socialism targeting patriarchal capitalism which is essentially a system built to ensure rich people (who's leaders setting up these system were white and male) were the ones benefited at all costs. The thing is that those rich people don't give a single crap about what poor people of any race, sex, or any other grouping have to go through which is why things like homelessness just aren't on the radar, and unfortunately that's something that affects men much more considering how many homeless people are ex-military and the prevalence of certain mental illness such as schizophrenia that men suffer from more often. So, yes, men benefit, but really it's the rich man that benefits, and other men get some of the benefits that go along with being part of a group of people that have historically had more power socially, in the family, and in the community through raw strength, but this also has downsides like never being allowed to show weakness for fear of being usurped as this power was gained really solely through brute force and then institutionalized with time.

u/Vid-Master

replying to u/alexsamson

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

13 POINTS

I highly doubt it will change, anyone that claims to support men or mens rights is called alt-right and laughed out of the room

u/alexsamson

replying to u/Vid-Master

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

22 POINTS

Idk man, I have some pretty feminist friends who are girls that at least acknowledge these things to be true and something that should change. So I’m pretty sure many people, particularly millennials and Gen Z, are at least open to the idea of changing the status quo on men’s issues.

u/NumerousThings

replying to u/alexsamson

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

6 POINTS

Acknowledgement and action are different things. See how many have acted to defend women's rights then check the same for men's rights. You can acknowledge the fact that people die in the third world each minute, doesn't mean you're not going to buy expensive shit instead of fixing it. Inaction is an action and acknowledgement does nothing.

u/manbrasucks

replying to u/NumerousThings

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

12 POINTS

Counter-point, first step to fixing a problem is acknowledging the problem exists.

You'd have to show that we've moved past the first step for a significant period of time before claiming inaction. How long did it take for women to get the right to vote? Equality in the workplace? The right to dress and wear what they want without criticism?

Pretty long time.

u/None

replying to u/Drifting_Panzer

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

39 POINTS

[removed]

u/Drifting_Panzer

replying to u/None

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

16 POINTS

This is a relatively new problem and will require new solutions, and new champions against a new antagonist.

u/Mordiam

replying to u/Drifting_Panzer

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

38 POINTS

It's not a new problem. In the late 70's and early 80's it was a big issue and as the conservative culture lashed out and it become a national focus.

Ronald Reagan convened a Presidential Commission on Pornography in 1985; two years later, Reagan held a press conference to announce his administration’s plan to combat illegal obscenity—and issue a warning to the porn professionals: "Your industry’s days are numbered."

So to call this a new problem is to be ignorant of history. That said, liberals will not backpedal on this issue, they advocated for it, they supported it and won the culture war.

Even before Reagan, liberals appointed by President Johnson, downplayed the societal risks and actually suggested easing obscenity laws, while the minority of members, including a prominent conservative Catholic priest appointed by Richard Nixon after his 1968 victory, warned of grave implications and recommended vigorously enforcing those same laws.

We know that the ubiquity of porn is a problem: Even as experts debate the science of addiction and the link between consumption and destructive behavior, there is surefire sociological evidence of its exacerbating influence on those most susceptible.

u/Drifting_Panzer

replying to u/Mordiam

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

43 POINTS

The problem nowadays is accessibility, even to minors. That did not really exist in Reagans time. Besides, he targeted all of adult entertainment, something we know today is impossible. The industry is simply too big and profitable.

Most today focus on education and information, not banning things left and right, since that will not work.

u/flyinsaucrtakemeaway

replying to u/Drifting_Panzer

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

55 POINTS

this sub has the biggest boner for authoritarianism, it's embarrassing. "i have no self-control....it's the damn liberals fault for allowing filth to exist!"

u/Drifting_Panzer

replying to u/flyinsaucrtakemeaway

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

45 POINTS

Which is funny, since the OP, and most posts that talk about this issue sreiously is not advocating banning or making anything illegal, merely informing people about a potentioal problem, and an equally potential solution.

u/flyinsaucrtakemeaway

replying to u/Drifting_Panzer

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

13 POINTS

it's a problem that has nothing to do with politics. yet here we are listening to dickhands raving about the culture war and genuinely wishing senile reagan and his priest buddy had solved the problem for us once and for all in the 80s by banning adult entertainment for good

u/Lobinde

replying to u/Drifting_Panzer

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

8 POINTS

When you get people talking about the "culture war" and "sexual debauchery" it certainly sounds like y'all want to ban porn lol.

u/extremelycorrect

replying to u/Mordiam

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

13 POINTS

Finding a magazine in the woods with still images of a girl with exposed tits is not the same as having extremely easy access to all the pornography on the internet.

u/username_suggestion4

replying to u/Mordiam

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

10 POINTS

Right but now it's an even bigger issue, the internet changed the game.

u/Lobinde

replying to u/Mordiam

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

9 POINTS

"My puritan crusade is different this time because reasons! I swear it's not like the past!"

Face it, you have a porn problem and are projecting that onto the rest of society with your desire for restrictions and control.

u/CreamCookie

replying to u/None

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

14 POINTS

Probably because there’s zero scientific evidence that “porn addiction” is actually a thing

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/porn-addiction-isnt-real-research-suggests-9126530.html

u/my_ass_for_president

replying to u/CreamCookie

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

13 POINTS

Get the fuck out of here with research and science. Instead you should be promoting /r/nofap, the subreddit of 16 year olds that attribute all their failings to wanking and all their successes to not wanking anymore, coupled with copious religious undertones.

u/pegcity

replying to u/None

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

10 POINTS

Wat

u/TheSystemZombie

replying to u/None

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:21:11

8 POINTS

Liberals won

Get a fucking load of this guy. I forgot all conservatives practice the utmost chastity behind closed doors.

u/attoj559

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

2216 POINTS

I think this is definitely true. It’s strange because men discover porn very early in life and it’s something that becomes a habit without thought. I myself used to watch it more when I was younger but nowadays i dont so much. I always tell myself the real thing is better or even using imagination is better.

u/TheNaziSpacePope

replying to u/attoj559

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

801 POINTS

Also laziness. At this point in my life I just cannot be fucked to scroll through all that weird incest shit to find something I actually want to watch.

PS: Damnit Reddit, all I want are real boobies bouncing softly...in 4k at 60+FPS.

u/jakeod27

replying to u/TheNaziSpacePope

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

400 POINTS

Why’s it all incest themed!?

u/KA96

replying to u/jakeod27

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

238 POINTS

Because eating ass is no longer taboo.

u/ModuloMyAss

replying to u/KA96

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

180 POINTS

Imagine when incest stops being taboo. God only knows what the next trend will be

u/topdangle

replying to u/ModuloMyAss

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

205 POINTS

It'll probably cycle so consensual hand holding will go back to the top.

u/phillynott7

replying to u/topdangle

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

145 POINTS

Ryan Creamer playing the long game.

u/WeHaveAllBeenThere

replying to u/phillynott7

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

9 POINTS

I’d hold the door for him so hard.

u/HI-R3Z

replying to u/topdangle

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

56 POINTS

I'm just walking down the street while holding her hand and I JIZZED IN MY PANTS.

u/Jackal000

replying to u/topdangle

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

38 POINTS

This is how porn will convert the world to Islam. Burkas everywhere.

u/Tasty_Toast_Son

replying to u/topdangle

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

31 POINTS

H... hand holding?

How lewd!

u/xitollotix

replying to u/topdangle

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

13 POINTS

I've already witnessed this happening on some of 4chans porn boards. Which, if I gotta be honest, Id rather hand holding than some of the other crap I've seen.

u/KngHrts2

replying to u/ModuloMyAss

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

20 POINTS

Incest and Mormons. Jesus, so much Mormon porn (started heavily in gay porn but now it's rising in hetero).

u/LanceFree

replying to u/KngHrts2

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

24 POINTS

What exactly is “Mormon porn”? I’m laughing at the idea of videos of people in unique undergarments trying to make it work, but it’s probably not like that.

u/KngHrts2

replying to u/LanceFree

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

22 POINTS

Um, it's almost exactly like that, lol. Usually it's a "missionary" (twink boy or young looking girl), with an older "bishop" and they do the nasty. Yes, the undergarments come into play a LOT.

Also, a lot of them are filmed in an all-white room. Not sure if that's a religious thing or not.

u/Diligent_Ostrich

replying to u/ModuloMyAss

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

7 POINTS

Pedophelia, I’m not even joking.

u/jakeod27

replying to u/KA96

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

20 POINTS

Was it? oh I’m fucked up

u/-Badger2-

replying to u/jakeod27

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

231 POINTS

Because the incest fetishists will watch it, and the people who aren't into incest can just mute it and it's not incest porn anymore.

u/Gunpla55

replying to u/-Badger2-

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

101 POINTS

Bingo, its a 2 for 1 deal for producers.

u/automongoose

replying to u/-Badger2-

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

87 POINTS

I disagree, once I see the title of the video reference incest, it’s in my head and I can’t ignore it

u/spicyramenyes

replying to u/automongoose

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

55 POINTS

It's never incest, it's always step-something. Even in the romcom animes it's never real incest. There was only one romcom anime with real incest and it ended in double suicide afaik. Less com and not really rom just awkward sad feelings all around

u/Pulse_163

replying to u/spicyramenyes

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

37 POINTS

That went from about 23 to 100 too fucking quick

u/sujihiki

replying to u/spicyramenyes

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

11 POINTS

yah. till you watch one of the milton twins fucking her twin sister with a drilldo then strapping on a rubber dick and fucking her sister with it.

they weren’t step anything except a step too far

u/3nj0ythis

replying to u/-Badger2-

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

28 POINTS

The pro move is to pretend it's a roleplay video. True centrist.

u/o_rei_do_bjj

replying to u/jakeod27

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

23 POINTS

Because American porn has been outsourcing new ideas from Japan for a while now and Japan has an even more intense version of this problem

u/Xanadoodledoo

replying to u/o_rei_do_bjj

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

9 POINTS

I have a hypothesis that it’s so popular in Japan cause a huge selection of the population is lonely and find it impossible to talk to the opposite sex. This combined with not having siblings themselves (at least I hope they don’t)

These factors together make them long for an easy to establish relationship that is also sexual. You don’t have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known if the person already knows you. Right? Who’s closer than a sibling?

Plus taboo makes it dirty. I think it’s just gross and it makes me worry for the future.

u/o_rei_do_bjj

replying to u/Xanadoodledoo

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

9 POINTS

What was the figure? 30% or so of dudes 20 - 35 are virgins and/or never been in a relationship? Some stat profoundly crazy like that, but I do believe we will start seeing similar phenomenon here, we're already seeing all types of issues from social disconnect. I think it's because our popular culture makes all the stakes for every interaction into winner/loser instead of growth, learning, and care, particularly for straight males and certain of the bi male population

u/Arras01

replying to u/jakeod27

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

20 POINTS

From what I've heard on reddit, part of it is that those themes are easy to skip past or overlook for those who aren't into it, and a big bonus for those who are (which is a lot of people). Net positive.

u/cerebralspinaldruid

replying to u/TheNaziSpacePope

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

49 POINTS

If only porn sites had a "Categories" section.

u/-Badger2-

replying to u/cerebralspinaldruid

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

38 POINTS

You still can't filter out the incest stuff. It's everywhere.

u/KrockPot67

replying to u/TheNaziSpacePope

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

39 POINTS

If you turn off the sound then it's just porn, not incest porn.

u/ZaneYourBuddy

replying to u/KrockPot67

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

19 POINTS

What are you doing step bro?

u/KrockPot67

replying to u/ZaneYourBuddy

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

9 POINTS

Turn the subtitles off too

u/pclaradactyl

replying to u/attoj559

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

140 POINTS

The young age is really concerning. I think the average age of first exposure is as low as eight or ten.

It’s sad to think about how that may affect dating dynamics and expectations at a young age. And without proper sex education, that’s where most people learn what they think sex should be which is really unhealthy.

u/Wanderlustskies

replying to u/pclaradactyl

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

73 POINTS

I’m a woman but seriously, like I wasn’t even sure what sex was until I was about 12. It’s horrifying that little boys barely older than one of my nieces could be watching goddamn porn, that’s insane.

u/surelynotcool

replying to u/Wanderlustskies

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

10 POINTS

Yeah same. I didnt even know women could masturbate until 9th grade. I think I learned guys could masturbate in grade 8. They were 13/14 at that age.

u/patpluspun

replying to u/pclaradactyl

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

14 POINTS

Sex education is the key. You can have the same problem with kids watching violent movies. Without someone telling them reality doesn't really work that way, the over the top dramatics become their expectation.

u/Velvetandiron

replying to u/pclaradactyl

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

14 POINTS

It affects the way teen boys treat girls regarding sex. It’s seriously fucked. Without knowing better, the imitate the porn videos they see and treat girls like garbage. And since it’s so expected, and girls are rarely thought that they’re even capable of immense sexual pleasure, they don’t really say anything and live their lives always a little bit miserable and sad.

Source: was teenage girl recently. But honestly, guys haven’t gotten much better in my twenties. I’m bi and am seriously considering switching to only women, as I’ve never had bad sex with one. Most of the sex I’ve had with men has been pretty bad.

Some of my friends are also coming to the same conclusion. After years of borderline sexual abuse at the hands of uneducated men who treat us like sex toys, and all the other blatant sexism in our society, we’re beginning to get really fucking pissed off.

u/qksj29aai_

replying to u/attoj559

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

107 POINTS

using imagination is better.

Man, I really couldn't agree with this more. I was molested by a babysitter when I was six and it reeeallly fucked with my perception of vaginas. I still can't stand the way they look to this day (I do love how they feel). For this reason porn, unless really softcore, absolutely disgusts me and always has.

u/masktoobig

replying to u/qksj29aai_

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

121 POINTS

Genitals, male or female, aren't particularly attractive. Hence, the old phrase "bumping uglies".

u/Rhufus

replying to u/masktoobig

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

56 POINTS

Speak for yourself. My genitals are GORGEOUS.

u/Baron_Samurai

replying to u/masktoobig

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

10 POINTS

I disagree. For me, a vagina is very attractive.

u/Mrs_B1979

replying to u/qksj29aai_

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

35 POINTS

I'm so sorry to hear about that. Have you ever talked to anyone about it?

u/qksj29aai_

replying to u/Mrs_B1979

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

51 POINTS

I see a therapist. The first "real world" person I've ever told is my current girlfriend, who was very supportive and understanding.

u/xitollotix

replying to u/qksj29aai_

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

23 POINTS

That's really good, you deserve healthy and loving support. I hope that one day you can be free of those memories.

u/qksj29aai_

replying to u/xitollotix

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

20 POINTS

That's really kind of you to say to a stranger. Thanks. Having talked about and worked through it, I am longer bottling up the shame.

u/energizer_buddy

replying to u/attoj559

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

100 POINTS

I started watching porn at 11 years old. I wasnt so much addicted to where I had to watch hours on end, but pretty much every night before bed for a good 12 years I would watch 15 to 60 minutes of porn.

This messed up my entire perspective of sex, my sexuality, and my views towards women.

Edit: I'm fascinated by some of the responses to my personal anecdote. To those who read my personal experience with porn, and become defensive, that's on you. I'm not making any moral arguments about porn, nor am I making any grand overarching theories about the way porn can be psychologically damaging to the general viewer. Porn is an expression of speech, and should always exist without governmental censorship.

To others inquiring about my current state, I curtailed my viewing of porn significantly after I had a bad break with a girl. I slowly cut back to weekly viewings, monthly, every few months, etc. The one thing I noticed when I cut back, was that my mind wouldnt randomly play out pornographic scenes. This allowed me to overcome the lust I had towards specific women who fulfilled an archetype of women I thought were beautiful and that I found attractive. I started to approach women differently, and then extended my sexual experiences with different types of women. I became significantly less shallow and accepting of imperfections.

I never found asian or dark skinned women attractive, as in, I didn't lust after them as I never watched porn that included women with these characteristics. It was this cutting back on porn that led to me to have sexual relationships with a Guyanese girl and a Filipino girl, relationships I doubt I would have seeked out in the past.

I've been in a relationship now for 4 years, and in that time, I have viewed porn probably a dozen times. I find now when I watch it, I'm more open to different types of porn, and I'm not scrolling for hours looking for the porn that contained that "perfect woman."

As for those who inquired about watching porn for 60 mins, it wasnt so much sitting there and watching 60 mins of porn, but it mainly include previewing dozens of videos to see if the actress was "my type."

u/fckingmiracles

replying to u/energizer_buddy

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

13 POINTS

When did you have your first time and do you currently have a partner?

u/eitherorisgreat

replying to u/energizer_buddy

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

13 POINTS

I’m glad that you are able to admit it. It’s always been a sneaking suspicion of mine that men who are more into porn have more messed-up views of women. In my experience, at least, this has been true, but I’m sure some people are able to avoid the negative consequences.

I will say, though, that I think the young age of exposure is a huge problem. I think that’s why middle-school boys were so shitty and misogynistic, honestly. I can’t imagine what i would be like if that kind of sexuality had been considered normal for me when I was in 5th grade...it wasn’t until high school that i started thinking about sex.

u/I-bummed-a-parrot

replying to u/attoj559

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:48

9 POINTS

See, I tend to have a better orgasm when I use imagination. It's rare, but I'm always kinda impressed with myself afterwards like 'huh, I just made porn in my head'.

u/HopelesslyAware

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

1834 POINTS

Too much of ANYTHING is bad.

u/legionsanity

replying to u/HopelesslyAware

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

875 POINTS

Even drinking too much water can kill you

/r/hydrohomies might disagree though?

u/descasatou

replying to u/legionsanity

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

1555 POINTS

★★★

It’s considered an honorable death

Edit: Neat.

u/AbleBodiedShrimps

replying to u/descasatou

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

184 POINTS

A true homie

u/tieoo

replying to u/AbleBodiedShrimps

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

50 POINTS

The kind you pour out a 40 (gallon aquarium) for.

u/mare07

replying to u/descasatou

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

15 POINTS

But not a pleasant one

u/Estabanyo

replying to u/legionsanity

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

265 POINTS

r/hydrohomies might disagree though?

r/WaterNiggas > r/HydroHomies

This is a hill I am willing to die on.

u/Ruqamas

replying to u/Estabanyo

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

84 POINTS

VIVA LA r/waterniggas!

u/eleventrillion

replying to u/Ruqamas

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

7 POINTS

What happened to that sub?

u/Anony-Moose1

replying to u/Estabanyo

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

10 POINTS

Why is r/WaterNiggas quarantined? I just check a couple of the posts it just seemed like some memes about water.

u/Estabanyo

replying to u/Anony-Moose1

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

27 POINTS

It has the unspeakable word in the name therefore it must be quarantined .

u/DrCleanly

replying to u/legionsanity

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

39 POINTS

Let's not get too hasty here. The science is unclear!

We were talking on porn. Lets stay on subject. sips water

u/scottdawg9

replying to u/legionsanity

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

28 POINTS

Fuck that pretender sub and fuck Reddit for banning the real one. Free speech ass hating losers.

u/Alolan-Vulpixie

replying to u/scottdawg9

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

7 POINTS

You know it still exists right??? It’s just quarantined.

u/Arsepick

replying to u/legionsanity

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

25 POINTS

nervously looks away

u/P__Squared

replying to u/HopelesslyAware

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

97 POINTS

I agree. Pretty much all vices except for hard drugs are ok in moderation but bad for you if go overboard.

I do wonder what kind of negative effects the easy availability of so much porn is having on teenagers. When I was 13/14 porn was out there but it was tough to find. Downloading dirty pictures over dial up internet was slow and tedious and came with a significant risk of getting caught. Videos were nearly impossible to get unless you had a friend who managed to steal a VHS tape from his dad or older brother. I’m glad I didn’t have easy access to thousands of channels of HD smut at that age.

u/CouchRadish

replying to u/P__Squared

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

26 POINTS

The wide availability of porn and the insane ease of access is fucking up our brain’s chemistry by two factors: the Coolidge effect and the overstimulation of porn.

The Coolidge effect is the biological phenomenon where a male (and to a lesser extent females) gain a renewed sexual interest when a new sexual partner is introduced. So when you can have a practically infinite number of different kinds of porn videos with different fetishes/settings/actors, it’s a goddamn breeding ground for this effect to take place.

And porn in general fires on the pleasure centers of the brain stupid hard. And like drugs, that level of overstimulation becomes the new normal for the brain, which leads the person to find more and more aggressive/taboo forms of porn to chase the original high. And while this can also be attributed to the natural curiosity and sexual maturity of teens, the change in desired porn videos is so much more drastic than a person’s natural explorations into sex.

Porn isn’t bad. But back then porn was a hell of a lot more difficult to get when you had to:

• watch Cinemax through the TV static and try to make out a titty

• go to a public place to watch/buy it

• download pics with a very slow internet

And you will still limited by what was available to the public. The most extreme magazines at the time were rarely more than just naked photos of women. But now anyone can just lock their doors, pull up their phones, and pull up some absolutely obscene porn videos.

And I don’t even want to get started on how the actors are treated when these videos are filmed.

u/Mancer74

replying to u/P__Squared

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

24 POINTS

Depends on what you call a hard drug. I think psychedelics can be quite beneficial to many when done in moderation

u/aure__entuluva

replying to u/Mancer74

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

8 POINTS

Yea I wouldn't call them a "hard drug" because they have a very low potential for addiction/abuse.

u/Semi-Hemi-Demigod

replying to u/P__Squared

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

20 POINTS

Videos were nearly impossible to get unless you had a friend who managed to steal a VHS tape from his dad or older brother.

Back in the day I figured out how to make my computer boot without making noise late at night, start a download manager, and turn off again before my dad got up in the morning just so I could download porn videos. A ten second, postage stamp sized video took about three days to download at 28.8kbps, but by god I was going to get that video.

Honestly if it hadn't been for porn and my parents' attempts to keep me from seeing it I wouldn't be the successful IT professional I am today.

u/MackMizzo

replying to u/HopelesslyAware

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

77 POINTS

These topics always wheel about to the same conclusion. People with poor self control with have a really bad time with anything that's pleasurable. If they aren't jacking it 5 times a day they are stuffing their face, or shooting up, or maxing out 8 credit cards.

u/catipillar

replying to u/MackMizzo

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

38 POINTS

Yea, but I think in this case, the trouble is that it's introduced to people who traditionally are known to have no self-control, like 9 year olds.

u/throwaway133379001

replying to u/MackMizzo

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

11 POINTS

Haha yeah bloody degenerates amirite?

No.

There's a reason we have tobacco limited to 18+ (moving up to 21+ is some places), and other restrictions. Gambling. Alcohol. Because allowing addictions to form in children is bloody awful.

u/MackMizzo

replying to u/throwaway133379001

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

17 POINTS

Where are kids allowed to watch porn legally?

u/TheLoneJack

replying to u/MackMizzo

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

7 POINTS

This is a flawed interpretation for lots of reasons.

For one, it ignores the role of society’s views on something with how people treat it. If caffeine just make you feel better and don’t cause any negative effects, and is something we even encourage in some circumstances… well, it’s natural that you’re a lot more likely to become addicted and less likely to care if you are. When that mindset is directed towards something like cigarettes, as it once was in society, the consequences can obviously be substantial.

It also ignores the uniqueness of porn, relative to other addictions, on our perspectives. Most addictions are more direct in the negative effects they have on people. People are focused on feeding their addiction, and may suffer health consequences from their vice or struggle doing things without the drug (e.g., relying on weed for anger management). Porn, however, can substantially disrupt views towards sexuality or even women in general in ways that are ultimately detrimental not just for them but also the women and girls subjected to those views. And that doesn’t even require an addiction - that’s just the natural result of porn being your primary initial exposure to sex.

And here, a big part of the conversation surrounds the ease with which young children are exposed to it (whom you can’t properly blame here) and what that means. Sure, it’s technically not allowed - but we’re not just talking about legality, we’re talking about reality. And the reality is that most people don’t care that much about young people seeing porn, and we do very, very little in an attempt to actually prevent young people from seeing it. The barrier of a button click is honestly low enough that it shouldn't really be considered a barrier at all.

For a personal perspective you might not have heard: I had some pretty terrible early sexual experiences because my boyfriend was focused on replicating porn. I was made to understand that he’s allowed to have his preferences and I couldn’t hold it against him, and should do my best to be accommodating. I was made to feel that by not following those preferences I was being a bad girlfriend. I ultimately left that relationship with a visceral hatred of porn (not conceptually against it entirely, but dwelling on it or seeing it wells up a swirl of various negative emotions for me) and some hangups about certain sexual acts that I haven’t been able to get over since. Just because a sexually inexperienced boy had a narrow idea of what sexually pleased him and tried to direct his girlfriend/sex life to fit that idea. And I’ve known other girls with similar stories as me. Treating this as a minor issue, or one that just resolves itself with time, ignores not just how severe the situation can actually be for boys/men but also how strong the effects of these views can be on women and girls.

u/DevielySchemed

replying to u/HopelesslyAware

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

33 POINTS

Dammit just posted this, scrolled down once and there it was. Derpa derp derp

u/hiphopnurse

replying to u/HopelesslyAware

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:33:43

25 POINTS

But something's are worse in smaller quantities than other things. Eating a lot of candy is really bad. Shooting up a little bit of heroin is worse.

u/farnhakw

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

1724 POINTS

I haven't had a true sexual urge in months, I'm just numb all the time from this

Edit: Wow this blew up, was not expecting that at all. To be fair I only watch porn maybe a few times in a week but I do beat it 1-2 times a day, mainly out of boredom or routine at this point. This numbness is not new, it's something I've dealt with for years and there's a lot more contributing factors than porn alone.

Here are some things that could have arguably contributed to this state:

  1. Raised on ritalin/dexedrine from the age of 6-16, all my formative years. This definitely interfered with my overall development
  2. Toxic family, father with major ptsd issues. Beaten at young age, never really felt safe at home etc etc
  3. Alcohol, I'm not a fifth-a-day drinker or crippling alcoholic but I have more than I should for sure
  4. On and off depression, lots of stress, frequent social isolation, a general 'what's the point of anything? ' attitude, despite having lots of friends and people who care for me
  5. Real sexuality brings me an intense feeling of panic, when a real girl makes it clear she likes me I frequently have a 'fight or flight' response instead of a sexual urge. I frequently wonder if my brain just decided to shut those feelings off completely as a defense mechanism

This is a lot and I really don't know what to do. I didnt drink for 2 months last year and sexual feeling didn't return, so I'm wagering it's either the porn/batin' or some kind of permanent chemical erasure of emotion from the years on huge doses of ADD drugs

Edit 2:

Thanks everyone so much for your advice/shared experiences/thoughts on this matter, they mean a lot to me and I'm already feeling more hopeful. It's good to know I'm not the only one going through something like this. My next step will be to attempt a reboot like some people suggested, and I'll look into talk therapy, however I like in NYC and a single session with a therapist can run upwards of 200$, I may have to look into some kind of free group therapy instead. I'm open to any frugal suggestions

u/Tasty_Toast_Son

replying to u/farnhakw

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

554 POINTS

I've been pretty fortunate to not develop any sort of crippling hentai addiction.

I just work off of what my body clock says. Which typically means beat my meat furiously for a couple of days / weeks, then have a period of inactivity for a few weeks / to a month.

u/hugokhf

replying to u/Tasty_Toast_Son

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

227 POINTS

Or in my case beating my feat furiously for a couple of days, then repeat it again

u/grade-A-benchwarmer

replying to u/hugokhf

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

73 POINTS

when in doubt, beat your meat

u/Pookmeister_

replying to u/grade-A-benchwarmer

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

9 POINTS

when in doubt, rub one out

FTFY

u/BlazeIceFlame02

replying to u/Tasty_Toast_Son

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

49 POINTS

Yeah I go inactive too then go to full on needing to get off.

u/BizThoughts

replying to u/farnhakw

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

179 POINTS

Ever have your testosterone levels checked?

Lack of exercise (or a sedentary lifestyle in general), alcohol use, excessive BPA exposure, and other "normal" modern behaviors can easily lead to rock-bottom t-levels.

Healthy testosterone levels control and maintain a massive amount of what stereotypically "makes a man a man" (muscle growth, motivation, confidence, sex drive, etc...)

When you have your yearly physical (if you do), your blood test only really checks to see if you're currently dying. It ignores 99% of shit that you probably want to know but because it isn't "life-critical" it doesn't get tested unless you request it.

u/totally_turtley_enuf

replying to u/BizThoughts

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

26 POINTS

My levels just came back 295. Do you think that warrants treatment? (18M).

u/Skinny_Canadian

replying to u/totally_turtley_enuf

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

57 POINTS

Testosterone levels vary wildly for a variety of reasons, so a stranger on the internet cant give you proper advice only off of your current levels. If you're worried about something, go see a doctor and they'll be able to figure out something better than reddit could. I'd advise against listening to any medical advice you find online about testosterone levels (other than just exercising, that's never a bad thing to do) because theres a wealth of misinformation on the subject.

u/ElGabalo

replying to u/totally_turtley_enuf

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

52 POINTS

Ask your doctor, not reddit.

u/Shh-NotUntilMyCoffee

replying to u/totally_turtley_enuf

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

42 POINTS

Anything below 300 is generally considered to be Low T just to give you a baseline.

Variant on ages, history of testosterone levels and a few other things like preexisting health issues

u/Hopefulwaters

replying to u/Shh-NotUntilMyCoffee

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

37 POINTS

Although he is 18 so that's seriously low.

u/Shh-NotUntilMyCoffee

replying to u/Hopefulwaters

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

10 POINTS

I agree its low - expectations of someone from that age would be above the long age range average, but there are other considerations like their intrapersonal T baseline

u/bruhbruh2211

replying to u/totally_turtley_enuf

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

26 POINTS

If you exhibit symptoms, it may be worth a try. I tested at 322 at 26. I got put on TRT. It’s a world’s difference now. Less anxiety, less depression. Finally started getting morning wood again

u/patpluspun

replying to u/bruhbruh2211

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

11 POINTS

Hmm, I'm 38 and tested at 351 not too long ago. My doctor gave me nothing, I still get morning wood and random erections in meetings at work. I also masturbate and have sex regularly.

u/-66-

replying to u/totally_turtley_enuf

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

22 POINTS

Average is 692 for your age group.

u/thagthebarbarian

replying to u/farnhakw

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

50 POINTS

Bored isn't a sexual urge?

u/ImSiviper

replying to u/thagthebarbarian

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

13 POINTS

Bored -> loneliness -> lack of emotion -> need of some easy kind of distraction -> porn

u/None

replying to u/farnhakw

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

34 POINTS

[deleted]

u/tBuOH

replying to u/None

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

25 POINTS

You seriously don't want that. I basically lost my libido 2-3 years ago. I feel broken, like I lost a significant part of the human experience, a huge part of myself. I think I will have to talk to a doctor about that - it is soul crushing for me. I am a woman though, so my experiences may not be too relevant in this discussion, I don't know.

u/OccamsYoyo

replying to u/None

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

11 POINTS

Omigod no — you don’t want that. Nature will take care of that for you in due course. My libido fell substantially even from my mid-twenties to my late-twenties.

u/Chad_Thundercock_420

replying to u/OccamsYoyo

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:48:58

17 POINTS

When you're young and super horny desperate nobody wants to have sex with you. Then as you get older women loosen up like you're Leonardo DiCaprio and the Titanic is going down, but you'd rather be watching YouTube. Life is a cruel beast.

u/monebolton

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

1098 POINTS

You are so damn right. As a girl tho I have experienced the same issue. I had to quit porn in order to improve my sex life. It helped. I think it is a problem common even among some women. Your mind actually saves all the pictures and videos you are observing and masturbating to...and when aroused or having sex, it affects you. It is an issue.

u/DrCleanly

replying to u/monebolton

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

347 POINTS

The image thing is dead on.

I had a moment years ago when I was having sex with a girl. I starting imagining other womens asses I had seen in porn to get off. It occurred to me how stupid that was when there was a real life girl butt in front of me that I could touch and slap and stuff but my brain was so programmed to swap between images rapidly from porn that I just had to do it rather than live in the moment. Even though I was doing the thing I had been fantasizing about while watching porn. Its so absurd that's its kind of funny.

u/typicalpersian

replying to u/DrCleanly

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

109 POINTS

It’s like that scene in “The Entire History of You” episode of Black Mirror

u/your-next-line-is

replying to u/typicalpersian

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

9 POINTS

Or « Striking Vipers »

u/None

replying to u/DrCleanly

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

89 POINTS

[deleted]

u/__slamallama__

replying to u/None

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

39 POINTS

Been there. It sucks. I'm working hard to get past it but it isn't easy.

u/DrCleanly

replying to u/None

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

20 POINTS

Oh yeah. I would never share that info with partner though. It has nothing to with their bodies and everything to do with my brain jumping around.

u/nokiabby

replying to u/monebolton

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

227 POINTS

yesss, I’ve been on the same boat. I couldn’t have an orgasm with a partner until I had stopped masturbating, using my vibrator and watching porn for a good 3 or 4 months. now I masturbate sometimes but I know I can never go back to owning a million vibrators and doing it 3 times a day.

u/BabyYodasLeftEar

replying to u/nokiabby

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

114 POINTS

It’s funny, when I was a virgin my primary worry was that I’d orgasm too quickly because that’s what everyone jokes about. I never would have thought that I was masturbating so much that it’d be nearly impossible for me to orgasm when actually having sex. That shit was so infuriating because I literally couldn’t find my ex gf to be any more attractive and no matter how much I told her that she still thought she was doing something wrong.

u/Bigal1324

replying to u/BabyYodasLeftEar

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

36 POINTS

Yeah sounds exactly like my experience. Life is about balance. Dont ever jerk off and you will probably cum in 2 pumps but jerk it everyday and you cant cum when it's time to. Find your balance. Modern unlimited free HD porn makes it incredibly easy to get carried away. After all it is a tool to control and distract the proles. Why do yall think it's literally like the only free thing that exists on the internet? They want you addicted.

u/mpc13003

replying to u/Bigal1324

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

11 POINTS

Was really rooting for this comment until I hit “proles” lmao

u/Diogenes-Disciple

replying to u/monebolton

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

69 POINTS

What if you just think dirty thoughts and have fantasies, and occasionally masturbate but don’t actually watch porn, and rarely read it? Can that lead to the symptoms caused by porn addiction? I’m female too btw

u/flyinsaucrtakemeaway

replying to u/Diogenes-Disciple

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

90 POINTS

no, completely normal behavior will not give you the same symptoms as porn addiction.

u/VillageScribe

replying to u/flyinsaucrtakemeaway

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

9 POINTS

I think it's important to further clarify. Masturbation is healthy and normal as an action.

u/SturdyStubs

replying to u/Diogenes-Disciple

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

79 POINTS

Fantasizing and leaving yourself to imagination is far better and is actually what is supposed to happen. Having feelings of your/a partner, getting aroused thinking of someone, thinking about what a partner would do to you, etc.

Trust me, these are far better than viewing porn because porn already provides the visual for you. You don’t have any brain productivity watching it; you are basically high off of dopamine and sex hormones without any imagination.

u/coblsobr1

replying to u/SturdyStubs

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

6 POINTS

Just because you're not coming up with everything in your head doesn't mean it's a bad thing. What if you're with your partner and they start stripping for you, is this somehow worse than imagining them stripping? The problem is addiction, not the way you get your rocks off. If you're imagining sexual thoughts and getting off 5 times a day to it, you'll have the same problems as you would if you were watching porn.

u/None

replying to u/Diogenes-Disciple

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

6 POINTS

I had porn explained to me in this way.

You have fruit. They're full of vitamins and minerals and fibre, and sugar. Sugar, is basically fruit stripped of anything of value so you get that sweet, sweet sugar.

Porn is boiled down sexuality. No fantasies. Just hardcore fucking, myriad fetishes and sexually available men and women at your beck and call. What could possibly go wrong. lol

u/Longlostnothing

replying to u/monebolton

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:49

14 POINTS

I only look at porn sometimes, but I'm also very picky about what it is I watch. I refuse to watch anything where I can tell the woman/women aren't enjoying it, faking it awfully, if they're completely made up and fake and full of fillers, or if there seems be a bad power dynamic at play which caters to some of those weirder fetishes. I can't help but think porn could be fine, but that it needs to be regulated so that people aren't thrown deeper and deeper into addiction and so they don't learn bad habits and just downright abusive things to do to partners- like bdsm scenes never seem to start with a discussion about what's okay/what's not which could lead to actual sexual abuse in the real world if someone copies the things they see without seeing if there's consent beforehand because they don't see that in the videos they watch. I also think we really need to discuss porn in sex ed classes in school, but I know how deeply unpopular that would be with vast swathes of the population.

u/KareenBonham

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

618 POINTS

If you go to r/relationships or r/relationship_advice, you can find five posts in the span of five minutes about porn addiction. So many women aren’t having sex because their boyfriends are more interested in porn than sex.

It’s really, really sad. Seems like every guy brags about having a “spank bank” these days, and I know a lot of guys who have an organized collection of every nude they’ve ever received. It’s fucking creepy how obsessed people are with nudes and porn.

u/LennyPls

replying to u/KareenBonham

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

262 POINTS

r/relationshipadvice is just a bunch of people telling others to break up for the smallest reasons

u/Fast-Disk

replying to u/LennyPls

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

136 POINTS

it's a bunch of single people, they did a poll a while back.

u/Murderismercy

replying to u/Fast-Disk

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

47 POINTS

Shitty single people

u/NiqPat

replying to u/Fast-Disk

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

21 POINTS

It probably has to do with the fact that they're willing to break up with the perfect person for them if they have a different pizza preference

u/mb2231

replying to u/LennyPls

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

31 POINTS

Because that sub is full of people who are either bitter they aren't in a relationship or who have never experienced any real emotional issue.

u/WeveGotDodsonHereJP

replying to u/KareenBonham

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

119 POINTS

Whenever I read "my boyfriend is addicted to porn" I actually interpret as "my boyfriend watches porn once per week, won't stop because I asked him to, he must be a porn addict"

u/throwawayandtakeme

replying to u/WeveGotDodsonHereJP

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

125 POINTS

This is just dismissive and you’re doing the exact thing OP is complaining about. I’ve dated two different porn addicts (and it’s the reason I permanently quit porn and refuse to date a man who watches it) and you’d be surprised how much these types of men justify watching porn for 3+ hours a day. My ex watched porn for over 5 hours a day and didn’t even jerk off for most of that time, he just mindlessly watched it like a zombie...and of course he blamed me when he was unable to get hard during sex at 19 years old. He refused to acknowledge that obsessively collecting porn and having terabytes of it downloaded on his laptop wasn’t healthy. I was “shaming male sexuality” when I pointed out how hurtful it was to me, especially when he tried suggesting it was my fault for looking “different” from the porn he religiously wanked to. Porn is evil man.

u/peanutismywaifu

replying to u/throwawayandtakeme

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

88 POINTS

A vast majority of people aren't porn addicts to the extent that you are talking about. Step out of anecdotes for five seconds.

u/PricklyPierre

replying to u/peanutismywaifu

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

22 POINTS

I think a lot of people are just bummed that their partner finds that taking a few minutes to rub one out is more enjoyable than spending an hour rolling around with their partners who aren't particularly open to their sexual desires. One of the issues in modern relationships is that everyone is looking to fulfill some sexual needs but it's not really acceptable to put your kinks out there and explicitly state them as some kind of must have for a relationship so people end up in relationships with people that they're sexually incompatible with. Then there's the women who get frustrated with partners who miss all of the subtle cues then assume the perceived lack of interest is from him getting it elsewhere.

Porn addictions are bad but a lot of people think a habit is the same thing as an addiction.

u/astrowhiz

replying to u/throwawayandtakeme

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

28 POINTS

I knew a few guys like that at university. They'd often have porn playing in the background, like an ambient noise while they did stuff, and with hard drives full of porn. It was very weird. This was about 10 yrs ago as well before a lot of big streaming sites got popular, so I'd guess this type of addiction is more widespread now. It must have some kind of de-sensitizing effect, and it definitely affects expectations regarding sex.

u/rehabbinit

replying to u/throwawayandtakeme

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

18 POINTS

I permanently quit porn and refuse to date a man who watches it

Then I guess its RIP dating for you.

u/throwawayandtakeme

replying to u/rehabbinit

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

26 POINTS

Nah, there are just a lot of men who use porn as a crutch who keep insisting that all men are incapable of not wanking to porn. There actually are a decent amount of good men now who have seen the light on how harmful excessive porn use can be. It’s men like you that unnerve me because it’s like you want to believe that “every single man ever HAS to watch porn!!!” Like it’s some intrinsic right that I’m taking away lol. You know men still jerked off before porn existed, right?

u/Shishkabob439

replying to u/throwawayandtakeme

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

28 POINTS

Look at that fucking statue of aphrodite. Unzips pants /s I think 99.999% of men have watched porn, but I don't think every man watches watches regularly.

u/wissenshunger

replying to u/throwawayandtakeme

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

11 POINTS

I completely agree with you. It is about selfcontrol and bounderies. I am baffled about the comments here. So many saying that women overreact... I am sure that they either don't have sex or have a really bad relationship with their girlfriends/wifes but won't anowledge it. Watching porn even for an hour every day is too mch. Not getting an errection with 20 years old because of it is sickening.

u/throwawayandtakeme

replying to u/wissenshunger

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

21 POINTS

It’s just denial and deflection. Anytime you post an opinion like this on Reddit, you get tons of defensive comments from people (mostly men) who are obsessive about defending their porn use. It really is fucking wild.

u/neutral-npc

replying to u/wissenshunger

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

8 POINTS

So many saying that women overreact... I am sure that they either don't have sex or have a really bad relationship with their girlfriends/wifes but won't anowledge it.

I feel it's a lot of women being completely boring and passive in bed, doing nothing, and then being surprised that their men seek pleasure elsewhere, but to each their own.

u/skepticalDragon

replying to u/wissenshunger

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

6 POINTS

There are many women who do overreact. Everyone is describing different things that do indeed happen.

There are men who watch way too much porn. There are women who freak out about any amount of porn. There are women who do the former and men who do the latter.

In the end it's only a problem if it interferes with a healthy sex life, and that is determined entirely by the two people participating in it, and no one else.

u/weebmaster32

replying to u/rehabbinit

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

19 POINTS

Well, I am one of those men who don't watch porn. I can't say I miss it.

u/lgmccarthy2019

replying to u/rehabbinit

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

17 POINTS

I mean some people just stop watching it because they are satisfied with their sex life and feel like they don't need it anymore, that's what happened in my relationship at least

u/slinkysuki

replying to u/lgmccarthy2019

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

7 POINTS

I would stop watching if my gf was more interested in sex. Once every week or so is not enough, imo. And I'm always initiating. Eventually, you get fucking sick of trying.

So yeah, we'll see how long this relationship lasts. I try to give her space and not pester, i try to be supportive and help out lots around the house. And still she's too tired. Or just not horny. I get it, people have different drives. But this might not be for me.

I guess you could argue porn is bad in that it has helped prolong an unsustainable relationship?

u/Aegi

replying to u/throwawayandtakeme

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

12 POINTS

I watch a video or two every month or two, is that really the same as some watching hours a day?

Sounds like you were dating people with social problems and they just happened to use porn as their vice.

u/n00bkillr420

replying to u/throwawayandtakeme

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

10 POINTS

My ex watched porn for over 5 hours a day and didn’t even jerk off for most of that time, he just mindlessly watched it like a zombie

wait what !! now that is some next level self restraint . no wonder he did not get hard for you . he was training like a pro.

u/Vaynnie

replying to u/throwawayandtakeme

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

7 POINTS

Wait, people actually watch porn to.. watch it? Like for the plot or something?

I masturbate to porn like once a week. Some weeks a bit more, some weeks a bit less. I only do it when I get an urge to, which then leads me to looking at a porn video and then immediately closing it when I’m done. I can’t even fathom the idea of watching porn for the sake of it. If I don’t have the immediate urge to masturbate, I’m completely uninterested in porn. I couldn’t imagine sitting there watching it for an hour every week nevermind 5 hours a day.

And that’s when I’m single. If I’m in a relationship there’s no fucking way I’d choose porn/masturbating over actual sex with a partner. It’s just not even comparable. Masturbating doesn’t come close.

Anyway, dunno where I’m going with this. You just put into perspective how bad porn addiction can be and it just kinda blew my mind. I mean I can’t even watch Netflix for 5 hours a day without getting extremely bored lol, and that’s watching things with interesting plots and stories.

u/weebmaster32

replying to u/WeveGotDodsonHereJP

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

93 POINTS

Nah, most of them have a legit problem. I've read a post about a woman whose husband masturbates every single day to the porn that he has on his IPad, and cannot get hard when trying to have sex with her (which is something wants less of anyways).

When I commented on that post that he should try NoFap for 90 days I was met with "bUt ThAt'S cRuEl AnD cRaZy!!"

u/slowpotatoboy

replying to u/weebmaster32

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

30 POINTS

The purpose of fapping is to bust a quick one. It’s not like you told them he shouldn’t bust a nut, just to not touch himself.

u/weebmaster32

replying to u/slowpotatoboy

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

14 POINTS

Yes, that was it. He can still bust, he just has to do it with his girlfriend, not by touching himself.

u/neutral-npc

replying to u/weebmaster32

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

9 POINTS

He can still bust, he just has to do it with his girlfriend, not by touching himself.

Girlfriends are not entitled to sex y'know?

u/AwayDepartment

replying to u/slowpotatoboy

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

9 POINTS

That is true. But now a lot of these no fap guys believe in no ejaculation at all, even during sex. So I guess that's what people assume when you bring up no fap.

u/hiphopnurse

replying to u/AwayDepartment

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

12 POINTS

I went on nofap once and a bunch of the guys were encouraging one guy to have sex with his wife so that he wouldn't give in to porn and masturbation. Maybe you know that sub better than I do but it doesn't seem like they're against ejaculation in general?

u/slowpotatoboy

replying to u/AwayDepartment

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

8 POINTS

Ah, I mean that would be a drastic turn. Still though, I don’t think people would recommend such a bizarre turn.

u/fckuupieceofsht

replying to u/WeveGotDodsonHereJP

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

24 POINTS

BS. Go on relationship forums and many men will defend their usage of porn and say it's easier to do then having sex.

Also so many men have unrealistic sex standards. They all want to do anal instantly, talk dirty/degrading. Men really have an issue with porn.

u/Matthew-of-Ostia

replying to u/fckuupieceofsht

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

25 POINTS

BS. Go on relationship forums and many men will defend their usage of porn and say it's easier to do then having sex.

I mean I suppose that's true, but by all means if some men want to be celibate and only masturbate to porn I guess it's their own right. I don't think people should be forced to be sexually active with others, do you?

I find this reasoning pretty weird. Men aren't interested in talking dirty or anal sex or big boobs or whatever purely BECAUSE of porn. A lot of the material seen in porn is driven by what the consumers want. IE, even men who never watched porn could/do have an interest for various kinks. None of those things are an issue, people who aren't sexually compatible with you don't have "problems" and if you find yourself ending up mostly with people who 100% aren't compatible with you you might want to do some introspecting..

u/jeezyb0i

replying to u/Matthew-of-Ostia

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

12 POINTS

I agree. I've been watching it for at least 15 years. Never had it cause a relationship issue. Still not into anal, fake/big boobs, or anything degrading. Those are all instant turn offs for me. People that claim it does this to people are usually just picking those type of partners.

u/n00bkillr420

replying to u/fckuupieceofsht

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

5 POINTS

maybe thats the fault of your choice in men .

u/noussr

replying to u/KareenBonham

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

118 POINTS

I have experienced the opposite of this, where men turn to porn when their significant other decreases the frequency of intimacy.

u/None

replying to u/noussr

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

33 POINTS

[deleted]

u/deviant_devices

replying to u/None

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

14 POINTS

I find this "my girlfriend only has sex with me 2x a week instead of 2x a day" complaint very funny.

Sincerely,

Married people

u/FreeRadicalAttack

replying to u/deviant_devices

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

38 POINTS

That’s you and your partner not marriage, my dude.

u/TheSpiralProgram

replying to u/FreeRadicalAttack

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

8 POINTS

Yeah for real

u/dongasaurus

replying to u/deviant_devices

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

26 POINTS

Speak for yourself, and don't blame your failed sex life on marriage.

u/mAdm-OctUh

replying to u/dongasaurus

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

13 POINTS

TIL that sex twice a week instead of twice a day is a failed sex life. Damn. And my ex thought me wanting sex three time a week was too much.

u/trianglepegroundhole

replying to u/mAdm-OctUh

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

12 POINTS

a failed sex life is when 2 people have completely mismatched libido and one person suffers and often turns towards masturbation

u/ImmortalMartial

replying to u/deviant_devices

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

10 POINTS

you unironically think being married and not fucking is the normal and justifiable thing

I pity you

u/BreezyWrigley

replying to u/deviant_devices

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

10 POINTS

It's not so much a complaint (because i realize it's completely impractical, we are both professionals and work all day and there's only so many hours and she is usually on call) as it is an observation/reasoning for handling my own needs in a way that works.

We aren't married but we live together and own a house. And even if we were married, that doesn't mean I'm not a man with drive.

u/GlumImprovement

replying to u/noussr

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

8 POINTS

Been there, done that. Realized that I could still have the porn and not have the expenses and frequent arguments of a shitty relationship so did that instead.

u/FakerJunior

replying to u/KareenBonham

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

73 POINTS

I know a lot of guys who have an organized collection of every nude they’ve ever received.

As a dude, that's a big yikes in my book. If ever as a woman you find out that your boyfriend collects all the nudes he's ever gotten? Not exclusively from you, but from other women as well? Run. You're not an SO, you're a trophy.

u/somethingcleverer

replying to u/FakerJunior

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

16 POINTS

Also dude, would not be friends with that dude. Furthermore, anybody who, in the post high-speed internet world, has an organized porn collection, is probably a psycho. If you have an organized porn collection, I'm sorry, you're one of the the good ones.

u/Blastoisealways

replying to u/KareenBonham

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

22 POINTS

This. I’m female and I don’t have an issue with porn, and I watch it. I would have an issue if my partner was choosing it OVER sex with me all the time and our sex life was suffering.

u/omfgcookies91

replying to u/KareenBonham

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

11 POINTS

I'm sorry this is just stupid. What man in their right mind will say, "I dont wanna have real sex. I'll just go spank the flesh piston." When they have a SO that is openly telling them they want to have sex with them. Sure, maybe there are times when a man doesnt want to have sex because of various reasons, but claiming that males who watch porn arent interested in their partner at all due to porn is just stupid. On top of this, there are different things you can do for foreplay like solo play or group/couple porn watching sessions. This sort of strange mentality about porn [and ultimately masterbation] is the kind of mentality which causes horrible stigmas around sex and ultimately issues around self image. To further this, just saying, "well I see alotta posts so it must be a thing" in regards to a relationship where only one side is presented is just dumb. Relationships are sometimes really complicated or even toxic and taking anything from both of those subs at face value is also dumb.

u/throzey

replying to u/KareenBonham

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:12:14

8 POINTS

Is it my sex that is bad? No. Its the porn. Lmfao. Yall crack me up.

u/Libidomy94

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:06:14

524 POINTS

Good on you for posting about this. It is a huge problem and something that is treated as a joke in society. It’s a very private addiction, one that generally costs no money, and has huge consequences.

The only people that really fight against it are the churches, and growing up, I just assumed that porn was another one of their arbitrary sins that didn’t actually matter.

For anyone struggling with porn addiction, or are just curious about what it looks like, check out r/pornfree.

u/-thejmanjman-

replying to u/Libidomy94

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:06:14

132 POINTS

one that generally costs no money

While most porn is "free" these days, if someone has a true porn addiction, the associated costs can be huge. Lost jobs, missed opportunities, divorce, etc...

u/dizzlesizzle8330

replying to u/-thejmanjman-

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:06:14

33 POINTS

those premium sites are not free either.

u/SuperSMT

replying to u/dizzlesizzle8330

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:06:14

10 POINTS

Neither is that bath water

u/Andhurati

replying to u/-thejmanjman-

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:06:14

6 POINTS

If you're spending more than an hour watching porn you are no longer doing it for free.

u/6inchfeels

replying to u/Libidomy94

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:06:14

8 POINTS

No one cares about what a church has to say these days, considering the air of anti-religion in society. Not siding with any viewpoint just an observation.

u/joaohonesto

replying to u/Libidomy94

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:06:14

7 POINTS

treated as a joke

Male Sexuality is exclusively treated as a joke, in pop culture and general media.

The guy has erectile dysfunction with his beautiful girlfriend and is a comic relief on the TV show.

The wife meets an extremely strong and tall guy with a huge bulge on his pants and then do some joke regarding the size of his husband's penis, and everyone laughs.

u/Kharaaz

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:51:03

457 POINTS

★★

Literally every paragraph in this post requires citation. I personally don't give a shit about the topic one way or another but people posting shit like "research has shown that..." over and over without a single blue line in their post piss me off.

u/RenaultTheLeCar

replying to u/Kharaaz

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:51:03

162 POINTS

Google peer reviewed articles on the effects of porn, or look at the wiki page:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effects_of_pornography

There is no scientific evidence for any of this moral panic nonsense. I'm amazed it's such a popular idea, it's about as scientifically supported as your typical anti-marijuana screed.

u/EmmaBourbon

replying to u/RenaultTheLeCar

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:51:03

18 POINTS

It's not a popular opinion at all.. this subreddit is a known cesspool of idiots. Occasionally we get a few gems, but this is just typical garbage.

u/f0v90

replying to u/RenaultTheLeCar

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:51:03

8 POINTS

I don't think you'd know what to do with evidence even if it was right under your nose. This is taken from the exact wikipedia page you linked:

Two 2016 neurology reviews found evidence of addiction related brain changes in internet pornography users. Psychological effects of these brain changes are described as desensitization to reward, a dysfunctional anxiety response, and impulsiveness.

The studies are right there in the footnotes. This wikipedia page is also far, far from being comprehensive. This is a significant and growing issue, with real evidence accumulating behind it.

Here's another piece: https://doi.org/10.1111/hcre.12108

u/Phone_Anxiety

replying to u/f0v90

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:51:03

13 POINTS

Look, ma! I can cherry pick and distort the narrative to fit my own agenda, too!

I love playing spot the bullshit

American Psychiatric Association (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (Fifth ed.). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing. pp. 481, 797–798. ISBN 978-0-89042-555-8. Thus, groups of repetitive behaviors, which some term behavioral addictions, with such subcategories as "sex addiction," "exercise addiction," or "shopping addiction," are not included because at this time there is insufficient peer-reviewed evidence to establish the diagnostic criteria and course descriptions needed to identify these behaviors as mental disorders

Nature article [IF 14.300]

https://www.nature.com/articles/npp2015300

Relevant bit:

Although recent neuroimaging studies have suggested some possible neurobiological mechanisms of CSB, these results should be treated as tentative given methodological limitations (eg, small sample sizes, cross-sectional designs, solely male subjects, and so on). Current gaps in research exist complicating definitive determination whether CSB is best considered as an addiction or not

Another one: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4990495/

Relevant:

Despite the growing body of research linking compulsive sexual behavior to substance addictions, significant gaps in understanding continue to complicate classification of compulsive sexual behaviour as an addiction

u/jegvildo

replying to u/f0v90

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:51:03

7 POINTS

Well, that is indeed still quite close to the weed analogy. I.e. we know about some moderate dangers and there may be more, but by now we don't have any evidence that there could be an actual epidemic. I think there's actually a lot more evidence regarding dangers from weed.

E.g. the addiction study you mention only comes to the conclusion that more research is necessary because there's some indicators that it might be an addiction and your link isn't about addiction, but about the effects on sexual satisfaction in relationships (on which it does indeed have a negative effect).

u/jillsalwaysthere

replying to u/RenaultTheLeCar

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:51:03

9 POINTS

They claim there's evidence but present absolutely no evidence!!! It's astonishin what people on this site fall for!

THIS IS CLEAR SELF PROMOTION for other subreddit especially the cult one of r/nofap

u/BleedingNitrate

replying to u/Kharaaz

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:51:03

121 POINTS

This, holy shit. People are allowed to believe whatever they want, but if they want to convince others they should use real evidence!!

u/shadowbannedscrub5

replying to u/Kharaaz

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:51:03

43 POINTS

Yeah, almost every top comment in this thread needs that too. I do think porn addiction is a real issue, but I'm skeptical about correlation vs causation for a lot of the statements.

There's a big point that isn't really addressed, which is where we're drawing the line for what qualifies as an addiction.

u/BitsAndBobs304

replying to u/Kharaaz

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:51:03

16 POINTS

99.9% of people who talk about porn addiction and of people who believe to be addicted to porn don't even know the clinical definition of addiction, whih strongly clashes with what they think is addiction.

u/memes_of_norway

replying to u/Kharaaz

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:51:03

8 POINTS

Finally, why did I have to scroll this far down for a single reasonable comment

u/TheJediSenate

replying to u/Kharaaz

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:51:03

8 POINTS

I can’t believe I had to scroll down this far to find this post. Jesus fucking christ is evidence even a thing nowadays? Talk about the “age of misinformation”.

u/Kool_McKool

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:23

432 POINTS

Yeah, I have to agree. My addiction was really bad, but slowly and surely I'm ridding myself of it.

u/Abra2889

replying to u/Kool_McKool

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:23

119 POINTS

Right there with you man - takes forever and is a constant fight but since I've started getting away from it - I've noticed massive improvements.

u/Quetzal00

replying to u/Kool_McKool

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:23

22 POINTS

I’m in the same boat. Best of luck to you

u/Kool_McKool

replying to u/Quetzal00

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:23

11 POINTS

Same to you.

u/ShowMeYourTorts

replying to u/Kool_McKool

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:07:23

11 POINTS

Mine got bad due to my ADHD meds. After looking in r/drugs it is apparently not uncommon to go on day long masturbatory sessions when on “stims.”

u/MikeyTheGoblinKing

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:47

302 POINTS

People need to treat porn more like alcohol. It's OK to have some, and it can be a lot of fun, but if you over do it you will be in trouble.

By the same token a lot of people need to chill out with their zealous crusade against it and just push more for people to be informed that it can be addictive and its not a replacement for human interaction.

It's not bad in and of itself bad it can come with problems just like gambling

u/nau5

replying to u/MikeyTheGoblinKing

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:47

62 POINTS

Yeah I mean if you look in this thread every person agreeing with op is making it sound as if 9 out of every 10 guys spends hours a day looking at porn and faces sexual performance issues as a result. There aren't hard numbers on this, but I imagine it's a fringe portion of the population suffering from this.

Also when compared to other addictions currently affecting the population as a whole it ranks way lower than things like food, alcohol, opiates, tobacco, etc. Not just on people with negative health issues from usages, but on how bad the negative consequences are.

u/eltonjohnshusband

replying to u/nau5

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:47

15 POINTS

Eh, I think OP is more saying that porn is fundamentally changing how we view sex, and in many cases, those portrayals could be seen as less than ideal (such as when they normalize violence towards women and the like).

I mean, I don't know the answer, and I don't think we should ban porn or anything, but I do think its impact is probably a bit more harmful than helpful.

u/LokisDawn

replying to u/MikeyTheGoblinKing

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:47

34 POINTS

It might be a while until we've found the "correct" amount for watching porn, though.

We've had millenia with alcohol and still aren't quite sure how much is good. It depends on the person, too, of course.

u/melellebelle

replying to u/MikeyTheGoblinKing

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:16:47

7 POINTS

Thank you. This whole thread has been weird to me. Porn isn't really my thing but my husband looks at it sometimes and our sex life is great.

It would become a problem if he was looking at it all the time or he was choosing porn over me. But he doesn't do either of those things.

Moderation, people. All things in moderation.

u/kanatakatagiri

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:52:37

252 POINTS

This is truly an unpopular opinion, especially on the internet.

u/missylizzy

replying to u/kanatakatagiri

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:52:37

140 POINTS

I remember like 5 years ago you couldn't even criticize porn on Reddit without people exploding. Now some are changing minds, especially women whose relationships are pure shit because they cannot compete with 1,000 s of other women daily.

I know nobody believes me but I do not care - my husband does not watch porn. We do together sometimes but that is way different when we both choose something we can enjoy together. Otherwise, he told me he'd give up porn for the sanctity of our marriage and out of respect to me!

Our sex life is amazing. We have sex nearly every day, sometimes twice or three times. We really crave each other and he truly makes me feel beautiful. I have been with men who watch porn and it really just makes sex less fun.

So, I'd say if you are a man and in a relationship, consider just dropping it for. a month. See if your relationship changes at all!

u/Thrumpledenoozitty

replying to u/missylizzy

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:52:37

60 POINTS

Thank you. It breaks my heart to think of my bf sneaking off to go jerk off to other women. I have tried to rationalize it but the fact is I find it hurtful and sad. It's something I don't do, so the excuse of "everyone does it" is pure bullshit. Too much porn use is a deal breaker for me in a relationship.

u/missylizzy

replying to u/Thrumpledenoozitty

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:52:37

14 POINTS

Aww I feel for you! I understand people have different boundaries and expectations. For me, I don't think I could be with a man who watches it. Maybe it means I'd be alone, but oh well.

Maybe show him this post?? Or would that be weird? I just showed my husband : )

u/sighentiste

replying to u/Thrumpledenoozitty

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:52:37

6 POINTS

My ex refused to sleep with me for weeks or more at a time, saying that he “wasn’t in the mood”. It was devastating to find out that he’d been watching porn daily. I even walked in on him watching porn alone in the bathroom shortly after he’d turned me down for sex.

Similarly, another ex would obsessively look up porn day and night, save it in huge folders on his computer, etc. one time he turned me down and I woke up like 30mins later to see him viewing porn on his computer literally a metre away from me. I’ve had people express shock because I’m (in their view) quite conventionally attractive, but it doesn’t matter what you look like. Someone else’s fixation with porn doesn’t necessarily say anything about you.

The porn thing killed my self-esteem and made me feel so inadequate and ugly. My husband doesn’t like porn. Isn’t into it at all. It’s honestly such a relief and we have such a healthy, loving relationship where I always feel beautiful to him - even on the days when I’m bumming around the house in my daggy PJs with unbrushed hair. I used to think that “men + porn” was a package deal that I had to just accept, even if porn had played a hurtful and destructive role in my relationships. So many people say “all men watch porn” like it’s a given, indisputable fact. It’s not though. There are many men out there who either dont like porn at all, or are able to maintain a healthy relationship with it. You’re allowed to have personal boundaries around porn in your relationship. They may not be compatible with your partner’s values, but that doesn’t make them invalid or “prudish”.

u/tioomeow

replying to u/missylizzy

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:52:37

25 POINTS

My relationship is very similar to yours!! I've always felt like people wouldn't believe me if i said it on the internet lol

u/UnattendedTuna

replying to u/missylizzy

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:52:37

11 POINTS

I just got out of a 7 year relationship because of porn. I can’t compete with that. Our sex life was non existent. And his libido disappeared. Does anyone have any ideas how I can share this info with him? I think now that he’s lost me he realizes he fucked up. I’m not interested in getting back together because of how much I was hurt. But I still care for him and want him to seek help for his own sake.

u/victo0

replying to u/missylizzy

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:52:37

8 POINTS

Note that it's not only for men, it work both way.

Also men cannot physically compete with all those toys that have 12 different vibration modes. Knew a girl that kept complaining about every single of her boyfriend being bad in bed, well, turns out that a meat penis cannot compare to an oversized toy with 3 vibration motors and designed to generate as much pleasure as possible.

u/WhenYouHitYourToe

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:53:35

186 POINTS

NoFap is something else than porn free, though. What they spread can be straight up dumb sometimes.

Well written unpopular opinion, though, +1.

u/DorsiaForTwoAt830

replying to u/WhenYouHitYourToe

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:53:35

78 POINTS

90% of the posts are:

I had a wet dream, do I have to reset?

u/Goldenpanda18

replying to u/WhenYouHitYourToe

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:53:35

64 POINTS

Nofap is a deluded community, lots of people believe that you’ll gain “superpowers”. For me your more likely to relapse once you realise that those superpowers people talk about aren’t going to happen to you. Porn free is a better community for porn addicts

u/YT-Deliveries

replying to u/Goldenpanda18

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:53:35

8 POINTS

Not only that, but masturbation seems to have a correlation with prostate cancer.

As in, if you don't masturbate regularly, your chance of getting prostate cancer goes up.

u/JesseTrue3

replying to u/Goldenpanda18

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:53:35

9 POINTS

Well I cant speak for anybody elses experience but when I did nofap I had a lot more energy a few days later.

u/Goldenpanda18

replying to u/JesseTrue3

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:53:35

17 POINTS

My issue with nofap is the overall community not the idea itself, it's important to learn about the negatives of porn but hearing people say you'll become more attractive and confident is a load of shit

u/CouchRadish

replying to u/WhenYouHitYourToe

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:53:35

18 POINTS

NoFap on its own (abstaining from porn, masturbation, and orgasms) is a great way to reset how your brain reacts to sex. It’s a mental diet.

But when people treat it as the solution to all their problems is just goofy.

u/Mellisco

replying to u/WhenYouHitYourToe

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:53:35

7 POINTS

NoFap is a good general idea if you don't get too crazy with it. My takeaway from it was if you're going to masturbate, use your imagination. Don't look up pornographic videos, pictures or stories. Not only will it decrease the frequency at which you masturbate but , if you have a partner, being with them will become way more erotic and for men, you'll be able to keep it up easier and longer. It worked for me and rekindled my partner and I's sex life.

u/Pollomonteros

replying to u/WhenYouHitYourToe

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:53:35

7 POINTS

Yeah, I was with OP until he mentioned NoFap,those people can act like a cult sometimes

u/llinoscarpe

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:42:32

188 POINTS

In 5/10 years, people will look at porn addiction the way they look at gambling addiction and sex addiction (as in a real issue).

u/EverydayAtrocity

replying to u/llinoscarpe

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:42:32

80 POINTS

Professional already do and have for years

u/ISpendAllDayOnReddit

replying to u/llinoscarpe

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:42:32

13 POINTS

Watching porn is like playing video games. Some people will obsess over it while most people have no problems with it.

u/Bananaheli

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:23:20

181 POINTS

In general, masturbation is healthy and especially for men. However, if you spend hours every day just watching porn and it affects the rest of your life it is an issue.

u/n00bkillr420

replying to u/Bananaheli

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:23:20

96 POINTS

anything that affects your life and your loved ones is an issue.

u/Bananaheli

replying to u/n00bkillr420

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:23:20

17 POINTS

You need to see how much it affects your own and your loved one's life. Is the effect positive or negative. Working out three times a week and eating healthy will most likely be positive for both you and your loved ones.

u/Not_Jabri_Parker

replying to u/Bananaheli

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:23:20

14 POINTS

That’s the big difference that OP fails to mentions. Obviously if you are masturbating three times a day it will effect your sex life. Many people have a healthy relationship with porn and many don’t, instead of shaming porn in general we should look to help establish better mindsets.

u/BlurredSight

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:51:37

156 POINTS

It's a real problem, I know dudes who see porn as NyQuil, they need it to sleep or see it as a past time

u/None

replying to u/BlurredSight

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:51:37

10 POINTS

[deleted]

u/Ramennoodletrash

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:31:11

150 POINTS

Do women also play apart in this? I see so many woman taking butt/tit pics on intsagram, fb, and also twitter. I think porn might have a big influence on how these women project themselves like is just normal to leak your half naked body to strangers over the internet.

u/Badwolf_40

replying to u/Ramennoodletrash

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:31:11

96 POINTS

I know for a fact it is. Labiaplasties exist mainly because right now if you don’t have an innie labia, you’re less than those who do, men want to do anal but it takes prep then when they get shit on their dick they complain, also you can’t to anal then go straight to piv unless you change the condom or clean your dick off but many don’t know that so utis can happen more.

u/Perfect600

replying to u/Badwolf_40

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:31:11

13 POINTS

Seems like a lack of education and communication are the prevailing issues on this thread are the main causes

u/lillycrack

replying to u/Ramennoodletrash

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:31:11

9 POINTS

When that’s what men want/expect, plenty of women think it’s what they need to do.

u/Arszenik

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

145 POINTS

Porn is becoming more popular because finding a good relationship is becoming harder and harder for men to find.

u/ContraWolf

replying to u/Arszenik

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

79 POINTS

I think this needs to be higher. Men in general are turning away from relationships because they are often not worth it today’s society. Porn is just filling the lack of sex they have going this route.

Until we actually starting confronting the problems men face, instead of constantly blaming all of society’s problems on them, porn is a perfectly valid outlet for their sexuality.

u/LoneStarG84

replying to u/ContraWolf

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

36 POINTS

Seriously, I determined a while ago that I had no interest in ever getting married. I simply see no benefit whatsoever and nothing but negatives. Anytime I tell someone they recoil in horror, yet when I ask them to give me an actual reason to get married they stammer and finally spout off "Well the tax benefits!". Like, fucking really?

u/Arszenik

replying to u/LoneStarG84

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

15 POINTS

To be fair, the tax benefits can actually be pretty significant in certain places, but yeah I agree with you, there is no incentive to marriage for men, unlike women, we can only loose from it.

u/incognitojt00

replying to u/LoneStarG84

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

9 POINTS

The only benefit is you get to be with the woman you love. I don't want to but she does, not a huge price to pay for being happy (so long as you are happy and plan to build a life together anyway)

u/LoneStarG84

replying to u/incognitojt00

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

24 POINTS

Why is the lack of a government contract the only thing preventing you from being with someone you love?

u/NotClever

replying to u/LoneStarG84

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

10 POINTS

It's an interesting dilemma to consider. If your significant other wants to commit to you for life and get married, how do you explain to them that you do want to commit to them for life but don't want to get married? It's pretty hard, I think, to find a way to do that without coming across as if you just don't love them enough to commit to them that way. You've really got to both be on that same page for it to work, I think.

u/incognitojt00

replying to u/LoneStarG84

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

7 POINTS

I dunno. Ask my girlfriend.

u/DriverDude777

replying to u/incognitojt00

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

23 POINTS

I married the woman I loved. After our 2nd child, I became the low man on the totem pole and she divorced me and now I owe 16 more years of child support. And I get 16 more years of helicopter mom when I actually do get to see my kids. Its a special kind of hell.

u/incognitojt00

replying to u/DriverDude777

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

10 POINTS

I feel for you man. That's devastating. Any advice?

u/Heisenbread77

replying to u/incognitojt00

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

13 POINTS

I will answer for him.

"Don't get married, don't have kids."

u/that_girl_from_IT

replying to u/ContraWolf

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

11 POINTS

Could you explain this more, please?

Why do men think relationships don’t have much worth?

What are some core problems that need to be addressed, relationship wise?

u/ContraWolf

replying to u/that_girl_from_IT

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

27 POINTS

If a marriage goes south, the court system is heavily favored towards women in divorces, custody, and child support.

It’s not that men don’t want relationships, it’s that there is too much risk of financial or personal ruin if they fall apart. Even dating, there is a ton of risk if a girl has mixed feelings or the guy doesn’t pick up on certain signals.

It’s just becoming not worth it for a lot of young men, who can frankly collect great salaries in the technology profession, and jerk away risk free to their heart’s content.

u/Arszenik

replying to u/that_girl_from_IT

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

22 POINTS

Porn offers a relatively easy source of pleasure, while getting a fulfilling relationship is a lot of work, and very often does not work out. Some men cant find a relationship at all for a variety of reasons, often outside of their control.

u/Heisenbread77

replying to u/that_girl_from_IT

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

14 POINTS

Idk if some of the others guys will relate to this but in my case I've felt disposable in every relationship I had. Immediately replaceable.

u/Abra2889

replying to u/Arszenik

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

59 POINTS

I have to wonder if there is a relation though.

Is porn making it harder to find a good relationship or is the difficulty of finding a good relationship causing men to turn to porn?

u/nau5

replying to u/Abra2889

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

43 POINTS

Men struggle to find any relationships not just good ones. The male dating pool is dominated by a small minority of men.

u/MiXeD-ArTs

replying to u/Abra2889

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

14 POINTS

I turned to porn because I was getting rejected by every girl I approached from 5th grade to beyond college. My current relationship has a huge imbalance in the amount of people we have slept with. My number is very low from rejection and lack of trying to put myself out there due to rejection. My female partner's number is 10x higher and it's not 1 and 10. It's 2 and 20+

If it were easier to have casual sex with people I wanted to have sex with then porn would not be attractive at all. It was only easy to get women who were below my league and I didn't want to be with them. If I'm a 6 on attractiveness I could only have casual sex with a 4 or lower. If I were female that would be reversed and I wouldn't have to use porn because I could find someone easily.

I believe if guys could have casual sex easier, without having to put on a show, then porn would be much less popular. The reality is that only attractive guys can accomplish this and most of them don't have problems with porn.

The only other alternative if you're average attractive is to prey on drunk women and take advantage of them. Somehow people who do this are not seen as predators. I won't do it so I didn't have sex.

Edit: Since this is getting seen. I want to mention that the most common reason I was rejected is being too short. I'm 5'9"

u/Arszenik

replying to u/Abra2889

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

16 POINTS

The vast majority of men wouldnt need porn at all if they had fulfilling relationships.

u/Illustrious_Drive

replying to u/Arszenik

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

13 POINTS

What about my boyfriend then who watches porn and won’t stop even though he says I’m his “whole world”? This is just insulting to all women who have bfs/husbands who watch porn. A common thing is every guy watches porn... so no man ever is in a fulfilling relationship?

Plus a man who has a porn addiction wont be cured just because he gets a girlfriend... it becomes an addiction.

u/Fast-Disk

replying to u/Abra2889

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

7 POINTS

Younger women are much more likely to be educated, yet they still want men that make more then them. All while men have less job opportunities.

u/xbbdc

replying to u/Abra2889

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

7 POINTS

My doctor from 10 years ago was prescribing Viagra and PE meds to young 20 year olds because of porn. It's a larger issue than most people think because no one's talking about it. What guy is telling their group of friends how they need meds to be a man?

u/Human_Person_583

replying to u/Arszenik

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

37 POINTS

Are you sure it's not the other way around? That men are looking for something unrealistic in a relationship (and therefore cannot find it) because of porn?

u/CarelessMap

replying to u/Human_Person_583

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

24 POINTS

Hardly. Most men will take almost any half decent looking woman as a spouse and don't really care about her political views or job status.

Whereas women usually have a laundry list of requirements (tall, dark, fit, nice yet aggressive, tattoos, wealthy but not work obsessed); yet they claim that men should accept their bodies and bitchiness the way they are.

u/Honor_Bound

replying to u/CarelessMap

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

17 POINTS

Most men will take almost any half decent looking woman as a spouse and don't really care about her political views or job status.

Citation needed lol. I think most of us have enough self-respect to keep looking for a partner that fits what we desire in a spouse. (Nobody will ever fit perfectly of course, but your comment reeks of misogyny)

u/RVA2DC

replying to u/Human_Person_583

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

16 POINTS

I think that most guys want to find a woman who is at least moderately attractive and brings something to the table.

Like for me, I want to find a woman who is educated (at least a bachelors degree), has a decent job/career path, and makes at least 1/3 what I do. I want a partner. Not a dependent. Oh, and she should be in relatively good shape (as I keep myself in good shape and enjoy being active and outdoors). That’s really fucking hard to find. And that isn’t even being that picky I don’t think.

If a woman isn’t bringing that to the table, I would rather just jerk off. I have friends in similar positions, and they use prostitution (which I never personally have, but am not opposed to).

I would be interested to see the prevalence of porn addiction across different cultures and different countries that tend to take better care of themselves.

u/-Unnamed-

replying to u/Human_Person_583

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

10 POINTS

That’s exactly what it is.

Lots of weird incels and nice guys in this comment section.

There’s more to relationships than sex and for some reason everyone seems to think unless they find a partner with exactly the same frequency and kinks than they rather just watch porn

u/sumguy720

replying to u/Human_Person_583

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

11 POINTS

As a man I can tell you that there is nothing depicted in porn that I'm looking for in a relationship with a woman. Sex is great, don't get me wrong, but it's not the basis for a relationship. I look for women who spend time cultivating themselves and their interests, who are willing to put effort into conversations, who are capable of communicating well and are willing to work through conflict equitably. A sense of humor is pivotal and requires a certain level of thoughtfulness that extends into other aspects of the relationship.

Those things make a woman attractive to me, and, at least for me personally, it's a struggle to find. Sex is just a sweet perk of what should otherwise be a great relationship with a person. It is possible that pornography has just pulled the curtain away from a dirty pile of long standing relationship issues that can no longer be glossed over with sex.

So now there are all these people that can get sexual gratification without a partner and all their partners are like "Oh my god porn is ruining our relationship!" No, Sam, it just turns out that sex was the only thing keeping you guys afloat.

u/None

replying to u/Arszenik

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

26 POINTS

[removed]

u/lupuscapabilis

replying to u/Arszenik

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

12 POINTS

And if you read a lot of these comments, it seems that it often comes down to "men would rather look at porn than have sex with their partners." Which, of course, is hilarious, because women aren't saying porn is causing men harm - they're saying that men's porn habits are affecting women. Men are very sexual and there's nothing wrong with that. If you want men to have sex with you and not look at porn, stop telling them they're perverts when they show some sexual interest in you.

And by hilarious, I mean that for ages, women have tried to tell men that they want too much sex, even using denial of sex as a punishment, and are now concerned that men are turning to other areas for sexual gratification.

u/Arszenik

replying to u/lupuscapabilis

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

19 POINTS

Yeah, its just another example of how we live in a gynocentric society.

Society doesnt give a shit about something that hurts men, until it starts to affect women, and then it becomes an issue.

u/CoreDreamStudiosLLC

replying to u/Arszenik

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:30

12 POINTS

You are absolutely correct, if a person has no desirable looks or package, and/or not rich, they will not be chosen. I'm one of these, 40yr old virgin. :(

u/dpismynameandmygame

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:46:05

146 POINTS

"Let me tell you why it's not even close to any other addiction...because I do it."

-All of Reddit

u/pedanticpterodactyl

replying to u/dpismynameandmygame

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:46:05

19 POINTS

This needs to be higher up lol

u/Quetzal00

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:14:39

107 POINTS

I remember one time I posted a comment on a sub about how pornography is harmful and I received a couple of downvotes. I tried explaining to the replies but it just ended the same way

u/TruantJ

replying to u/Quetzal00

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:14:39

69 POINTS

People get irrationally riled up about it. The media included. Every no nut November you have a bunch of journalists protesting porn abstinence as though it were somehow bad to resist sexual whims. Definitely an air of desperation in the opposition

u/gremblohweels

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:47:02

96 POINTS

One of my pastors at my church was addicted to it

u/Kool_McKool

replying to u/gremblohweels

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:47:02

111 POINTS

Noah get the boat.

u/hiphopnurse

replying to u/gremblohweels

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:47:02

38 POINTS

The percentage of pastors addicted to porn is shocking

u/Trunky_Coastal_Kid

replying to u/hiphopnurse

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:47:02

26 POINTS

It's probably about the same as any other profession. Despite the status of being a pastor it doesnt give you some kind of special protection from avoiding the stuff they preach against.

u/Lynchwzmw

replying to u/hiphopnurse

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:47:02

15 POINTS

Tbh I dont think pastors in particular watch more porn than many other professions.

u/Cronenberg_This_Rick

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 17:29:47

97 POINTS

Porn is the only thing they will give you for free.

u/None

replying to u/Cronenberg_This_Rick

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 17:29:47

63 POINTS

[deleted]

u/normanslittlepinky

replying to u/Cronenberg_This_Rick

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 17:29:47

31 POINTS

This has a LOT of truth to it.

u/droopyeyedjukebox

replying to u/Cronenberg_This_Rick

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 17:29:47

10 POINTS

Honestly, why is porn free?

u/BasedScuba

replying to u/droopyeyedjukebox

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 17:29:47

14 POINTS

Through many advertisements

u/Smirn0v

replying to u/Cronenberg_This_Rick

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 17:29:47

6 POINTS

Specify 'they'?

u/unionoftw

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:43:29

84 POINTS

Fightthenewdrug

Ted talks:

The great porn experiment

Let's talk porn

Just some examples and resources

u/Quetzal00

replying to u/unionoftw

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:43:29

19 POINTS

I had a close friend appear on Fight the New Drug’s Instagram page wearing his “Porn Kills Love” shirt

I’m very proud of him

u/Abra2889

replying to u/unionoftw

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:43:29

9 POINTS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRJ_QfP2mhU

This was the big one for me personally.

u/town_klown

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:34:23

80 POINTS

This may have been an unpopular opinion a few years ago, but not today. The plus and negatives to the internet is having immediate access to a wealth of information, or photos/videos in this instance.

The public is slowly becoming more aware of the dangers that porn does to your mental wellbeing, for both men and women. Men generally are discussed more, due to the statistics and noticeable physical affects such as porn induced erectile disfunction (PIED). It’s not just a theory, it’s a scientific fact that your brain responds to an increase in dopamines and for men with years of addiction, these dopamines can only be triggered through visual stimuli and reality is often a let down in comparison. This in turn leads to the inability to get an erection.

The problem is that many men do not realize this and assume that their inability to perform with women in real life is due to legitimate medical issues and so many suffer for years not knowing the true source of their problem

The upside is that discussing porn as a legitimate addiction is also becoming less of a stigma and a healthy dopamine balance can be restored in time when abstaining from porn. The challenge is that porn is not illegal, nor taboo and sexuality is actually promoted on a regular basis, which can trigger those recovering from porn addiction to fall back into the loop hole.

I do agree that those who do not suffer from porn addiction and can maintain a healthy sexual life with their partner, do not need to abstain. With that said however, there is no doubt in my mind that porn will always cause more harm than good. The temporary satisfaction that you receive is nothing compared to the long term negative affects on your mental well being

u/Sergovax

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:17:18

73 POINTS

Normalization of porn is actually one of the things Huxley predicted in Brave New World, his dystopian novel. It included people going to the movies to see some strictly pornographic films. It scares me that our society seems to be moving in that direction.

u/escamop

replying to u/Sergovax

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:17:18

9 POINTS

Porn movie theaters were widespread in the 1970s in Paris. The last one closed last year.

u/ThrownAway4SO

replying to u/Sergovax

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:17:18

7 POINTS

I'd say we're even beyond his prediction because we don't even need to leave the house because of the Internet.

u/ebz37

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 17:43:38

73 POINTS

I think porn is the Red Herring in this.

I feel like a lot of these issues could have been avoided if parents had an honest talk about it when their kids.

Porn has its place, it's like candy. It's okay to have candy from time to time, it's not gonna kill you for having just a small amount.

But obviously having a diet of sugar and candy isn't gonna make you healthy.

And there isn't anything wrong with saying hey I like eating candy from time to time!

But obviously people are gonna to go extreme with anything.

It's also not just porn that is causing men to treat women like sex objects. There is more to that then just porn.

Thinking removing porn will stop that isn't fixing the real issues with that.

And with the weird kinks, I'm gonna assume they where always a thing, we are just able to talk about it - less taboo.

u/dLo187

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:11:49

69 POINTS

I never really cared much for modern day porn. I liked the playboy magazines in the mid 90's when I first started getting interested in girls and porn on the budding internet was not yet free. I never rented from the private "adult only" area at the local video store because everyone going in and coming out of it looked like massive creepers that I didn't want to be associated with. Porn now seems like its really overly aggressive for no real reason. I don't plow the living shit out of my wife so she can barely walk afterwards....... nor would I......... nor would I want to do that to an attractive woman who wasn't my wife.... nor would I want to do that to a prostitute. Maybe there is a massive percentage of dudes who think that's awesome to fuck a woman so hard she gets medical issues the way porn portrays "average sex". Not me, and I sure wouldn't fucking watch something that pretends its "average".

u/Bman409

replying to u/dLo187

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:11:49

17 POINTS

Great comment.. and this is one reason that I agree with the OP, that porn is harmful and unhealthy.

There's an emphasis on objectification, domination and even an element of violence. Apparently many viewers are stimulated by that.

its very unhealthy to stimulate and encourage pleasure that arises from physical harm to others. That should not be encouraged

u/VladtheMemer

replying to u/dLo187

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:11:49

14 POINTS

As someone at the age of watching porn, I really hate the hard plow in every video. You have to go to the "for women" category to get something better, but then that's too slow when you just want to jack it.

u/omfgcookies91

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:57:26

56 POINTS

Ok first off, when you claim studies and evidence in a post that is rife with a largely worded opinion, put down your sources from where they come from. Second, where in your mind lies the fact that pornography has been made by humans since our existence? Third, masturbation has been proven to have healthy benefits.. Fourth, if the issue lies in relationships and whether masturbation takes priority to the SO involved then this need to be addressed in a mature manner by those involved as does any sort of sexual dissatisfaction that is causing a break down in a relationship. Talking to your SO about how you might be into solo play, group porn watching, or using porn as a form of foreplay is nothing to be ashamed about. Fifth, the idea that porn develops "unhealthy" fetishes is crazier then flat earth theories due to how it is extremely difficult and arguably unethical to study something like experimenting with introducing sexually violent content to see if a person will become more violent themselves.. And finally sixth, anyone who thinks this opinion is rooted in a "save the man" movement needs to stop this thought process because it has been shown that when extreme views on sexuality are introduced/reinforced it is extremely detrimental to anyone influenced by that view. To further this, the concept of creating sexual taboos causes a lack of education, more cases of sexual frustration, and more teen pregnancy.

You are pushing a view as fact her without sources that are credible, without evidence to support yourself, and without acknowledging how there is literal science and history that tells the opposite of what you are claiming. Finally, you are also over simplifying a person's problem in either a relationship or mental health because of a cultural taboo movement which attempts to paint a natural part of human behavior as terrible which is blatantly untrue.

Edit: spelling/grammer

u/NotClever

replying to u/omfgcookies91

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:57:26

26 POINTS

I'm slightly amazed I had to scroll down this far to find a post with only 3 points asking for some sort of sources.

OP cites a bunch of shit as fact and says there is "a growing amount of evidence" showing that porn is harmful, then he doesn't provide any of it.

u/tittering_chum

replying to u/NotClever

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:57:26

16 POINTS

Yeah let’s all take the word of one of the wizards from /r/nofap who believes not touching yourself leads to mystical powers.

u/TreginWork

replying to u/omfgcookies91

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:57:26

10 POINTS

The only source I've seen linked before your comment was a different poster against porn linking from a completely nonbiased site called yourbrainonporn or some shit like that

u/btomas_

replying to u/omfgcookies91

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:57:26

8 POINTS

you really think jerking off to a drawing on an old vase can compare on any level to free high speed hd internet streaming video of massive amounts of material (1/3 of the internet) accesible to anyone with a phone? this shit is ridiculously new.

u/Torkon

replying to u/omfgcookies91

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:57:26

6 POINTS

People think porn is ruining their relationship when really it's often the lack of communication and rooted puritanical shame. They won't talk to their partners about what they want in bed.

u/MattTheCoach

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:34:50

66 POINTS

I completed NNN

u/flowr12

replying to u/MattTheCoach

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:34:50

21 POINTS

I was talking to my male friend the other day about how this kinda isn’t possible right? He tried and eventually he would get erections so easily in public and would have pain.

u/MattTheCoach

replying to u/flowr12

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:34:50

10 POINTS

I did it last year, but I suspect wet dreams were involved

u/ElephantsOnTurtle

replying to u/MattTheCoach

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:34:50

12 POINTS

Well done.

u/GayLadThrowaway

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:46:12

62 POINTS

100% agree - as someone that has suffered with PiED (Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction) i cannot stress and warn people enough about the dangers of porn.

I am slowly recovering and i'm much happier, so is my partner. You don't even realise you're addicted to porn until it's way too late.

u/HetZalWel

replying to u/GayLadThrowaway

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:46:12

13 POINTS

Hey there, I think I have the same problem... I already lost my relationship, partly because of this... How do I recover? Do I stop watching porn or is there more to do? I want to make it better for myself and my future girlfriend

u/CouchRadish

replying to u/HetZalWel

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:46:12

9 POINTS

The basic start is called “No PMO”, no porn no masturbation no orgasm.

Basically unless you’re pissing or cleaning yourself, don’t touch your penis and don’t watch porn. There’s different levels of intensity (with the highest being avoiding ANY sexual material) but most people do fine with just dropping porn.

Do that for about a month.

u/ElephantsOnTurtle

replying to u/GayLadThrowaway

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:46:12

8 POINTS

This is exactly what I feel and I am suffering PiED myself. Do you have any advice on how to cope and move forward?

u/None

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:50:08

55 POINTS

People fapped before porn. Thy had to use imagination :D

u/KareenBonham

replying to u/None

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:50:08

112 POINTS

Yeah no shit. But there are people who spend 3 hours every day watching porn. That’s not healthy.

u/hahapee

replying to u/KareenBonham

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:50:08

52 POINTS

i understand watching porn on the occasion BUT 3 HOURS?? thats too damn much.

u/unpopdak

replying to u/hahapee

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:50:08

18 POINTS

yea, anything in excess is not good.

except everything I like of course /s.

really though, lots of people are able to use hard drugs for instance without falling into the depths of hell and while arguably those are not good even for "responsible" use, a bit of blow once every few months won't hurt much... it's when they start doing it every weekend or every night that it becomes an issue.

I can definitely see occasional porn usage to be a non issue, though 3 hours a day is definitely falling into insanity territory.

u/Logios_At_Work

replying to u/KareenBonham

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:50:08

21 POINTS

I'd imagine that is well under 10% of porn users. Just like with all "addictive" things over 90% of 'users' are recreational and not addicts. People act like because something can be addictive then everyone will become addicted which is no where close to true.

u/nau5

replying to u/Logios_At_Work

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:50:08

7 POINTS

That's the point that is so annoying. Like something can be bad without us having to label it as a massive epidemic that is ruining the world. So much hyperbole by the people who agree with op.

u/throwawayandtakeme

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:10:25

46 POINTS

You’re gonna get a lot of defensive comments from dudes that either 1.) know deep down that they are addicted to porn but are in denial or 2.) men who actually manage to watch a decent/normal amount in moderation and take issue with the “extreme-ness” of your take. Although type 2 definitely exists, I reckon type 1 is more common (especially on Reddit). Even now you have comments getting defensive and blaming women for their partners not being able to get hard after copious porn use. It’s just standard deflection at this point. I think in 15 years porn will be the new tobacco; more research is coming out showing how disastrous porn can be for our physical and psychological health, but you have a large number of people (mostly men but I see women doing this too) who lobby HARD against any notion that porn is harmful because they don’t wanna feel guilty or have to stop using it. It’s insane how defensive people get over porn, I’ve seen literal meth heads be less vigilant about defending their habits. Not to mention this shit is killing so many relationships...I’ve dated two porn addicts and I know many women who are starting to make porn a dealbreaker and I don’t blame them. It’s absolutely soul crushing to spend months/years getting fit and sexy for a partner only for him to be unable to get it up (and then he jerks off to unrealistic porn 30 seconds later). Feeling like you’re constantly competing against thousands of airbrushed, hairless models who do the most ridiculous sex acts is not fun. It ruins your self-esteem and the worst part is, we don’t get much public support for these feelings. Men blame us and suggest we’re just fat/ugly/boring in bed and that’s why our boyfriends turn to porn, and other women shame us for “not being a good gf” or being “controlling/jealous.” We hide in private forums or niche subreddits because it’s the only way for us to grieve and vent without a thousand lite porn addicts trying to silence us.

u/ElephantsOnTurtle

replying to u/throwawayandtakeme

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:10:25

17 POINTS

Yeah I imagine its awful for women who have to deal with this shit. Porn is taking men out of commission and that makes women suffer too as men are trying to get their SO to do weird shit they saw in porn or only can get hard to enter them with it in the background or having porn chosen over having sex with them. Its awful and this needs to be addressed on an international level asap. Personally I started watching porn at 13, had no idea what it was. Realised I was addicted at 15, I'm 22 and still fighting addiction. Giving up my alcohol dependency was easier than this because I overcame my issue with drinking, still battling this shit. It takes me forever to get hard (porn induced erectile dysfunction) or i cant at all often and I couldn't get it up for a girl I met on Tinder. It was humiliating. I am so annoyed I was told by the world around me this was something that was good because it has been fucking up my life for years and until last week I never told a single person in my life until I told this friend about it.

I'm really sorry men blame you women for their problems. Its nor your fault and you guys suffer just like we do because of our addiction. With all addictions not just the addict is affected, the people who care about them are too. Thanks for being so understanding of this issue so many men are facing.

u/RenaultTheLeCar

replying to u/throwawayandtakeme

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:10:25

13 POINTS

I reckon type 1 is more common

There is no scientific evidence for this, and none of us know much about how the rest of us use porn. There's just no basis but moral panic to think this.

u/GoingGone_

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:14:40

42 POINTS

Nope, society has started waking up. All these no fap challenges exist for a reason.

u/Thatcoolguy1135

replying to u/GoingGone_

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:14:40

10 POINTS

All these no fap challenges exist for a reason.

This is such an unimaginably weak argument, do you want to know why people pay to have their fortunes read, there is a reason, and it's because they're ignorant, dumb, and gullible. So the very existence of no fap challenges doesn't mean there is some form of benefit, it's because of bro science/pseudoscience and anecdotal reports that people do this. But the average person doesn't have the ability to question their cognitive biases or understand how powerful the placebo effect is. There is no solid evidence that such a thing as a porn addiction exists, it's in the same realm as gaming addiction, if you're addicted to these types of things you probably have an underlying disorder.

u/TriggeredSalamander

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:15:12

33 POINTS

Porn is good in moderation! Having been with someone who affected me in our relationship because of his addiction, I wholeheartedly agree.

u/GreyWoulfe

replying to u/TriggeredSalamander

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:15:12

22 POINTS

Damn near everything is fine in moderation. I don't wanna ban porn, but r/NoFap is the reason I joined Reddit on the first place and its definitely helped me to be the healthier wife pleasing man I am today

u/PatriotsWinSB53

replying to u/GreyWoulfe

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:15:12

28 POINTS

Nofap believes you'll get fucking jedi mind powers and fuck Super models on your new yacht if you dont fap for a week. Those people are out of their god damn mind

u/TriggeredSalamander

replying to u/GreyWoulfe

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:15:12

12 POINTS

Good for you!! I can tell you, my bf now treats me better sexually than my porn addicted ex ever did. I didn't know a man could become aroused just by seeing me naked until my now bf, that's how bad it was. Good on you, truly. Please that woman!

u/usa_foot_print

replying to u/TriggeredSalamander

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:15:12

8 POINTS

What are the benefits to watching porn in moderation? As in, how is porn even good in moderation?

u/Logios_At_Work

replying to u/usa_foot_print

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:15:12

17 POINTS

Better question, what are the consequences of moderate porn usage? Nothing from what I can tell.

u/TriggeredSalamander

replying to u/usa_foot_print

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:15:12

14 POINTS

Benefits is I feel good, it helps with period cramps caused by my PCOS, and it helps me sleep.

While that's more the masturbation that is beneficial, its porn that helps me, yknow.

u/cappeca

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:57:23

34 POINTS

The only solution is... SEX ROBOTS!

u/bingusgreenus

replying to u/cappeca

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:57:23

7 POINTS

It would also reduce sex crimes as well, I see this as a win-win

u/Matthew-of-Ostia

replying to u/bingusgreenus

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:57:23

19 POINTS

No, for the most part it wouldn't.

Most instances of rape aren't simply because someone wanted to get laid and couldn't find any better. It's a lot about abuse and power over others, which robots won't really scratch the itch of.

u/None

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:28:35

41 POINTS

[deleted]

u/Torkon

replying to u/None

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:28:35

7 POINTS

Dude does your husband have a therapist? Does he suffer from anxiety or depression? Does he exercise regularly? Does he have problems with self-image? There are SO many controllable potential factors at play here and I don't see why you would assume that his low-libido is caused by the least likely factor.

u/ntvirtue

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:27:07

32 POINTS

I see that like most anti porn advocates they neglect to mention that the greater porn availability the few rapes occur.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/201601/evidence-mounts-more-porn-less-sexual-assault

u/usa_foot_print

replying to u/ntvirtue

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:27:07

14 POINTS

lmao is that because porn is more prevalent in countries where women have equal rights rather than 3rd class citizens?

u/newskinoldcountry

replying to u/ntvirtue

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:27:07

14 POINTS

ALL violent crime in the US has been in steep decline starting in the late 90's. This is classic correlation does not equal causation. I can't speak for the Czech example, but you cannot make that claim in the US.

u/Kalle_79

replying to u/ntvirtue

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:27:07

16 POINTS

That sounds like a very spurious claim... Or a logical fallacy.

Not every rapist is a porn addict who copes with the lack of available pornography by raping women for real... I remember reading that many serial rapists care more about the "ritual" and the assertion of dominance than about the sexual act itself.

u/HyperBoreanSaxo

replying to u/ntvirtue

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:27:07

9 POINTS

That’s pop science at best

u/PM_MeYourDataScience

replying to u/ntvirtue

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 14:27:07

5 POINTS

I highly doubt a causal effect there.

Any effect would more likely be a result of a society that doesn't repress porn is one that cares more about individual freedoms and choice. Highly conservative religions tend to have questionable views on underage sex (child brides) and rape victims (have to marry attacker or are forced to carry their child etc.)

u/kildar3

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:50:56

26 POINTS

I both smoke and watch alot (compared to others) of porn. Both started the same and are frankly the same in my life. A insidious and subtle addiction. Both started fun and benign. A cigarette and a wank here and there never hurt. I didnt go blind and my teeth didnt fall out. I was a model of health in all ways. But both have formed into habits. I dont sneak behind dumpsters to wank. I dont get itchy if i dont smoke. But both are intertwined in life. I must smoke a cigarette with my morning coffee. I must smoke when driving. I must wank before bed. And i can not stop either. Or i cant wake up or sleep. I would love to stop both. Addiction isnt all meth teeth. Sometimes its just a bad habit woven into daily life. And nobody cares.

u/Smirn0v

replying to u/kildar3

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:50:56

7 POINTS

all addiction is subtle and benign at first. Same goes for me and food. I mean, you can't get addicted to food, right? WRONG!

If you can't get a treatment - which honestly I don't know if is worth a fuck - maybe try reducing it? First porn every day, then -1 day, so 6 days in the week, then -2, -3, on even days, if you can make it there of course. It worked for me, of course I still shit myself when I lay my hands on something neat and sing my food chant while cooking, but yeah, it helped me a bit.

The thing is, those things... porn, cigarettes... Marzipan in my case... You have a right to use it. It's length and quantity that is a problem, not a habit itself, right?

u/redismyleastfavcolor

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:19:39

32 POINTS

A lot of these comments are talking about how porn is bad when someone watches it too much, but I think that the content of a lot of porn is bad as well. The whole 5 black guys one white girl thing is indicative of a larger systematic view of black men. In a lot of porn, women are degraded and almost none of it is a realistic depiction of sex. Since boys start watching porn at a young age, this affects their expectations of sex, their experience of sex, and even how they view people of other races (black men, asian women, etc) and genders.

u/bigfootismygf

replying to u/redismyleastfavcolor

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:19:39

10 POINTS

There has apparently been a rise in nonconsensual violent acts during sex like choking, slapping or gagging reported by women, so yeah I think it is affecting people’s view around sex

u/studbucket666

replying to u/redismyleastfavcolor

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:19:39

10 POINTS

I guess you were downvoted because people love posts like this when it talks entirely about how watching porn effects only men but the second the actual content is talked about (women being degraded for example) people jump to arms. This sub is incredibly sexist. They love blaming not getting laid on porn addiction but the second the actual PEOPLE are taken into consideration they get pissy

u/SadMusicBoi

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:59:54

26 POINTS

I'm glad to see someone who has the same view of porn as I do. I got addicted when I was 13 and still am now (I am 16). But I've began to notice things happening to my brain that are what you just described. I've found that I am the happiest when it's been a while since I've watched porn. I am doing my best to get out of it and I am having some of my friends who have the same view of porn keep me accountable. It has become far less frequent, but still a struggle. I'm gonna look into No Fap and Porn Free to see if they can help. Anything is possible guys, and I'm gonna keep doing my best.

u/False_Rhythms

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:00:11

26 POINTS

So it's like blaming video games for violence????

u/prumkinporn

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:20:21

26 POINTS

I mean if you have no self control over jacking off and you’re an adult. That’s not porns fault. You just need to learn self control. I dont blame teenagers though as much as adults because everyone knows what it was like to be a horny 12 year old.

u/mechmik

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:31:49

22 POINTS

It's a little ironic that I'd answer this from my porn alt but whatever.

Porn led to one of my biggest intimacy problems in my last relationship, I would be jerking off in the next room while she was in the living room. She was always good to go and I would rather be jerking off to porn than be with her.

It wasn't the reason we broke up but it definitely contributed to it.

Next time I'm in a committed relationship I'll definitely stay off it.

u/neutral-npc

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:07:09

17 POINTS

Men are having problems performing in bed with their partner, reduced libidos, fetishes they did not previously have which cause shame, seeing women as sex objects solely, having to watch more intense and degrading and even violent porn to get the same dopemine hit.

Okay ...

  1. Seeing it as a performance is probably precisely why many men would rather masturbate than bother doing it with their partner. It's work for us, and why the hell would we care if we can do something easier and more satisfying?
  2. Fetishes do not cause shame, except if you are surrounded by close-minded busybodies like I think OP might be one. People should mind their own business.
  3. As long as the kind of porn required to get a dopamine hit is freely available and legal, where is the problem with this? Again, it's not anyone's problem what (legal thing) other people do in private on their computer.
  4. Where is the harm? Men are less interested in their girlfriends? That's it? Who cares, leave the men alone and stop pathologizing everything men do that you don't like.

I strongly suspect that OP is just some sort of religious or political nut, deliberately obscuring the true agenda behind his/her dislike of porn. The given reasons seem superficial, and it's the same kind of rhetoric usually used by these types.

Oh we're just so concerned about you hurr durr!

u/lupuscapabilis

replying to u/neutral-npc

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:07:09

10 POINTS

This whole thread seems to come down to "men are not doing things sexually the way we want, so we must change them."

I dated a girl once who was confused one day when someone was talking about women being good in bed. She said something to the effect of "how can a woman be bad in bed? she just has to lay there." Perhaps instead of policing men's porn watching, there's a lesson in there that can be learned. Treating men as this sexual piece where you can do nothing and he has to "perform" to your standards is about as unhealthy as anything else.

u/brunettedude

replying to u/neutral-npc

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:07:09

8 POINTS

I can’t get hard without porn anymore. In order for me to get an erection, I need to not even look at porn for over a month. Even if the hottest person ever is naked in front me, I’ll stay soft. I no longer get morning wood. However, if I don’t look at porn for awhile, it will come back. It infuriates me how people don’t understand this is a real thing that happens to people.

u/neutral-npc

replying to u/brunettedude

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:07:09

7 POINTS

Sad for you, but other people have no such troubles. What do you want to do? Ban porn for everyone because some people have issues?

u/easytoreadname

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:15:59

17 POINTS

Well men’s problems don’t matter as we’re disposable and not important enough

u/None

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:06

14 POINTS

[deleted]

u/Galp_Nation

replying to u/None

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:14:06

12 POINTS

Yeah, I mean not to be weird and divulge too much personal info but I jerked it twice yesterday within a couple hour period and I was still ready to get it on with my SO at any moment (reason I'm so turned on right now is she has been sick so we haven't had any sex since early last week). I know this is anecdotal but so far OP has only given his opinions with zero evidence (unless I just didn't see it in the comments) so this whole post is anecdotal as of now.

u/NetWareHead

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:42:41

17 POINTS

I have a higher sex drive than my wife. If not for porn, Id be bothering her 4-5 times a week and we'd have fights. We still have sex, just not as often as I like. Im not down to cheat on my wife or risk a failed marriage, STDs or an illegitimate child so porn is the far safer alternative. Bust one out in 15 minutes and done.

I also use porn as a sleep aid. Actually, an orgasm is really the sleep aid whether brought on by jerking off or having sex with the wife. When Im tossing and turning in bed or not tired enough, I know what I need to do. If the wife is not receptive then I leave the bedroom and return 15 minutes later. After that its all ZzZzZzZz.

Im not sure I have a porn addiction. A high sex drive yes. A friend of mine jokingly put it: "the more sperm I store, the more of an asshole I become." Yes its a joke but I feel there is alot of truth to the statement. I feel like I have to get the poison out too; it makes irritable when I havent cum in a few days. So porn is the easiest way to self medicate this condition and keeps me nice and pleasant.

u/6138

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:54:45

17 POINTS

I think it's all about moderation.

I would compare porn to alcohol.

Should children have access to alcohol? No they shouldn't. Can alcohol be abused? Yes it can. Can alcohol destroy lives? Yes, certainly.

However, is alcohol inherently bad?

No, it's not. Millions of adults enjoy alcohol responsibly every day, and it does them no harm.

Porn can be harmful if it's abused, but it's not inherently harmful as long as it's used in moderation, by consenting adults, and you stay away from the really weird stuff.

u/LeonSRooM

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:58:44

14 POINTS

Girls been shoving giant vibrating dildo-master 9001s down their holes and all of a sudden porn is causing unrealistic standards for WOMEN?
Seems someone is bitter that some Men just don't see the point in being hypersexual with them and prefer to handle their lust in a different way.

If you think porn addiction is a problem right now, just wait til the sex bots get here. Good fucking luck ladies.

u/Beeshx

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:09:40

15 POINTS

Just saying that women can have porn addiction too.🤦‍♀️

u/time2fly81

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:22:40

14 POINTS

You know what has had the most negative impact on my marriage? Abstinence teachings/purity culture from being raised as a Christian. Watching soft core porn with my wife (in addition to deprogramming Christian teachings with the help of a therapist) has ignited the spark for us. Not all porn is the crazy shit.

u/Faust_8

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 18:12:52

14 POINTS

OP that’s a lot of text without any sources or citations. For all I know this is just your uninformed personal opinion because I have no clue who you are.

You gotta give me a reason to believe you aside from “because.”

At face value I don’t see what separates your post from some soccer mom in the 90s proclaiming that Magic: the Gathering/Pokémon/Harry Potter is turning kids towards Satan. It sounds like fear, not facts.

u/matrix2002

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:30:13

12 POINTS

The problem isn’t porn, it’s how society has so few truly accepting outlets for male sexuality.

Men are constantly judged my who they are attracted to, who they date, and the level of their libidos.

The only truly acceptable outlet is talking monogamous long term relationship, which more often leaves men sexually frustrated by the lack of sex in that relationship.

So what’s a guy to do? Cheat? Break up? Maybe ignore their sexuality?

Cheating is universally condemned. Breaking up destroys the family where men often lose access to their children. And ignoring it is virtually impossible with the way sex is used to sell to men almost every where.

So, porn is the best available option. No cheating, no destruction of the family, and less frustration.

Even single guys see the appeal of porn. No drama, no judgment, and little cost.

Porn is a symptom, not the problem.

I think de stigmatizing sex work would help a lot, not just legalizing it. Truly making it acceptable and not judged would help a lot.

But, that’s not going to happen, so I’m afraid that porn will continue to be a replacement for a long time

u/lupuscapabilis

replying to u/matrix2002

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:30:13

8 POINTS

Typical in today's society:

man: "Check out that girl, hardly wearing anything, looking good. I'd love to have sex with her."

woman: "You're a disgusting perv. Don't look at women that way."

Same woman: "how come men would rather watch porn than have sex with me?"

u/OptionalCookie

POSTED AT 2019-12-10 00:33:10

12 POINTS

Don't mean to detract from men being the focus, but this is an issue for women, too.

I found myself dead ass asking a guy to do something to me I would *never* have asked had I not seen it in *many* pornos over several years during my dark times.

It needs to be addressed 100%. Please.

u/AlexAegis

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:41:34

11 POINTS

u/Lexeklock

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:12:16

10 POINTS

This might be an unpopular opinion, but , what is the alternative ?

Boys and men in general are different to women when it comes to sex. Our sex drive is mainly a physical thing . Women on the other hand correlate sex with an emotional attachment but when it comes to men, you just need to get it done.

The thing is and i am by no mean blaming anyone : women prefer to go for the older, wealthier , wiser, stronger and better men because thats how they are genetically wired. Meanwhile those men that dont fit such criterias are left out with no other way to satisfy their desires.

So yes, porn is destructive , and we do admit it, sometimes we feel ashamed when we hit one, there are those who litteraly cry after they do the deed because it feels bad afterwards.

But if we want to be completely honest and take responsibility for our actions, then females should take some part of the blame just like men do.

Those "nice guys" those "short guys" and those "best friends" , they have feelings, they would really rather be with a person than a virtual representation of what they desire most. But when you cant satisfy your needs in a healthy way, then the only way to do it is through porn.

We're not particularly happy about it, but that is what we've got to do to keep going.

u/GlumImprovement

replying to u/Lexeklock

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:12:16

7 POINTS

This might be an unpopular opinion, but , what is the alternative ?

Suicide?

u/AKWill05

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:02:48

10 POINTS

I don’t really have a problem with this but what’s wrong with fetishes?

u/RealJraydel1

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:42

11 POINTS

Can I get some citations for all these sources you claim to have? You said there are multiple studies

u/WolfsLairAbyss

replying to u/RealJraydel1

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:42

7 POINTS

Probably some study done by a professor of godology at first Christian University.

u/PM_MeYourDataScience

replying to u/RealJraydel1

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:39:42

5 POINTS

Same place the anti-vax studies are.

u/mensmod

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:44:23

9 POINTS

When women want sex, it is seen as their right to have it. When men want sex, it is seen as bad, or predatory. You are just furthering that.

Who cares if men are less interested in having sex with women? That is women's problem, not men's. Let them deal with it. (Maybe they can stop gatekeeping sex?)

Men are not entitled to sex with women. But some/many women make it seem like they are doing a favour to a man by "letting" him have sex with her. That is a huge power imbalance in the relationship that takes away from the sexual experience. With porn, men don't have to deal with those emotions. They can feel empowered and in control of themselves. Good for them. We should support that.

u/VandelayyIndustries

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:02:52

10 POINTS

Promoting porn as normal is a weapon of the liberal left to continue their assault on family values and the western middle class.

u/Sun_Upon_You

replying to u/VandelayyIndustries

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:02:52

8 POINTS

Yes. They want you broken and dead, and your family brainwashed and raped, and they think it's funny. The people promoting this stuff don't see you as human, but cattle.

u/TrinnB

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:09:46

11 POINTS

Completely cutting out masturbation is also really bad. The problem with porn is the same as with gambling, alcohol and any other vice. Some people can handle it, some get way too into it, but most just re creatively enjoy it.

A parent should make sure their child is not alone on the computer when aged 9-10. It's the whole T.V. generation mindset that fucked up kids that way and gave the parents the idea of putting your kids in front of a screen to keep them quiet. So raise your kids not by screen but by parenting and beyond 18 they can do whatever they want. If you raised them well enough they will not be culled by a vice.

u/MrDefi-Reddit

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:53:06

10 POINTS

Yeah Ive noticed, GF and I are PornHub amateurs and the amount of 20 to 50 y/o guys that seem like they watch to much porn is crazy, went to some profiles and a lot of them watch and comment 10-20 videos a day....

u/ssjking95

POSTED AT 2019-12-10 02:29:31

9 POINTS

Its definitely bad in the long run, most guys including myself would rather just crank it than take a girl out listen to her crap and ya know SOCIALIZE when you throw porn in the mix you dont have to deal with rejection, it's free, and when your done that's it lol it really is bad because it is gonna fuck a lot of people up mentally, the shit the pornstars do is not real life lmao most girls cant take a 10 inch pounding for 45 minutes straight, and guys will feel inconsequential because they feel they cant meet that standard so they will just continue to watch porn. It's a vicious cycle and honestly more people should be voicing there distaste for it

u/broyoupostedcringe69

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:20:30

10 POINTS

There is money in porn, but there is also the fact that these people want to destroy the sexual health of people in Europe and in the USA. There is an old saying, if something is free, someone is benefitting from you consuming it.

Look into who owns this company, and how much influence they have.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MindGeek

u/DistinctDingo

replying to u/broyoupostedcringe69

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:20:30

17 POINTS

They are not ready for that yet, conceal your power level, brother.

u/n00bkillr420

replying to u/broyoupostedcringe69

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:20:30

18 POINTS

something is free, someone is benefitting from you consuming it

everything has a price . nothing is free in life .

u/Gladiator6969

replying to u/broyoupostedcringe69

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:20:30

17 POINTS

JEWS

u/majesticbuttplug

replying to u/broyoupostedcringe69

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:20:30

11 POINTS

They hated jesus for telling the truth

u/Sun_Upon_You

replying to u/broyoupostedcringe69

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:20:30

11 POINTS

Oy vey!

u/queendead2march19

replying to u/broyoupostedcringe69

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:20:30

8 POINTS

Yeah, porn is a weapon.

u/Bitch_I_Am

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:30:50

10 POINTS

Watch the Kurgegsagtz video on Addiction!

People should simply focus more on making real life friends and family, dealing with addictions will happen automatically. By stopping yourself from porn, you go do something else, its like whack a mole except there is no end to it. But if you change addiction for connection-with-real-life-people in real life, as in no shitty social media, then we would all be better off.

u/kmaheynoway

replying to u/Bitch_I_Am

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:30:50

7 POINTS

He actually removed that video because it wasn't well sourced enough and was based off of controversial studies. I don't think it's a good example to be using.

https://www.reddit.com/r/kurzgesagt/comments/b3w8ym/what_were_the_main_arguments_against_the/

u/DevielySchemed

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:35:37

7 POINTS

To much of anything is a bad thing.

u/Nanihara

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:45:07

8 POINTS

Maybe you're right about the porn but you sound so paranoid. No one over the age of 13 cares if you watch porn.

u/MooMoo4228

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 17:18:54

8 POINTS

Sounds like some incel nonsense

u/CLOUD889

POSTED AT 2019-12-10 06:27:30

7 POINTS

Porn is destructive for the most part. We're better off with out for sure.

Interacting with real relationships is better in the long run , instead of fake imagery damaging our perception.

u/CountVonBenning

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 15:58:35

8 POINTS

How was church yesterday?

u/ToldYaUshouldListen

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:10:18

9 POINTS

Til women don't enjoy porn.

I'll let my wife know

u/medivhwow

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 17:57:27

11 POINTS

Dont forget that Ted Bundy also famously stated that if you wanted to stop men like him, you outlaw porn instead of drinking. Thats not the exact quote but you get the gist.

Edit: heres the exact quote:

“Like most other kinds of addiction,“ he said, “I would keep looking for more potent, more explicit, more graphic kinds of material. Like an addiction, you keep craving something which is harder, harder, something which gives you a greater sense of excitement. Until you reach the point that pornography only goes so far…”

Bundy added,

“I’ve lived in prison a long time now. I’ve met a lot of men who were motivated to commit violence just like me. And without exception, every one of them was deeply involved in pornography. Without question, without exception, deeply influenced and consumed by addiction to pornography.”

u/smolbur

replying to u/medivhwow

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 17:57:27

10 POINTS

I'm not sure Ted Bundy is really reflective of normal psychology.

u/lupuscapabilis

replying to u/medivhwow

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 17:57:27

9 POINTS

Yeeahhh, I'm not gonna follow Ted Bundy's recommendations when it comes to sexuality, thanks.

u/the_lonely_monk

POSTED AT 2019-12-10 06:53:30

7 POINTS

Got to love all the people clamoring for "evidence." Uh, the evidence is the huge numbers of people coming forward and saying it's a problem in their lives. Yes, more rigorous studies can help to determine the exact nature of the problem and what can be done about it, but the fact that people feel it is a problem makes it a problem by definition. In the same way, if your leg is in pain, then you are suffering from pain in your leg, no matter whether you can prove the pain exists to anyone else or demonstrate what the cause is.

u/Sewciopath17

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 13:29:05

7 POINTS

Agree with OP.

u/None

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:13:06

8 POINTS

[removed]

u/King_Loser27

POSTED AT 2019-12-09 16:20:29

7 POINTS

If I want to beat my dick until it's bent 45 degrees, then I'm free to do so without you chiming in.