If “OK Boomer” was a digital assistant like “OK Google” what sorts of answers would it give you to certain questions?
u/mpizzle3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
47515 POINTS
★★
"Ok Boomer, where is the nearest gas station?"
"Okay so you're going to want to drive past that building that used to be the old dentist office. Take a right at the large yellow house. Keep going until you see that sign for the restaurant we went to last year and then take a left. If you've reached the place where Time Hortons used to be, then you've gone too far"
u/Timbukthree
replying to u/mpizzle3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
8721 POINTS
This is so painfully true. I ask for the name and general vacinity of a place just to look it up on Google Maps, and instead get a 10 minute explanation from 3 different people about how to get to someplace that's easily accessible and 10 minutes away.
u/Doctor-Pigg
replying to u/Timbukthree
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
3034 POINTS
All the explanations are different too, you end up making the people trying to explain to you where to go usually end up arguing
In one Indian megalopolis (I think it was Mumbai) there's a food delivery company that hires illiterate delivery staff that is not guaranteed to be literate, so they've developed their own little pidginimprovised script which is not meant in a condescending or colonialist way to denigrate people of South Asian extraction to direct each driver which gigantic building to go to and which parcels of food to drop off.
Apparently it's legendary for its effectiveness. So much so that western researchers have started studying it to see how it's significant in learning and language formation although I don't have a source for this part and apologize if you have incurred any economic burden due to overreliance on this statement.
The service not only delivers take out food, but more challenging still, it delivers parcels from an office worker's family (usually his wife) to his office place so he has something to eat for lunch.
Edited due to copious user feedback. I'm now deactivating inbox notifications for this comment - the true sign that a comment has really made it in reddit's user consciousness.
u/arjunusmaximus
replying to u/dusmeyedin
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
930 POINTS
You're talking about the Mumbai Dabbawalas. They're not illiterate, but they DO have their own system of delivering the 'dabbas' - the tiffin boxes from homes to offices and this system is SO effective that they have a 99.96% effectiveness.
"The dabbawalas constitute a lunchbox delivery and return system that delivers hot lunches from homes and restaurants to people at work in India, especially in Mumbai. The lunchboxes are picked up in the late morning, delivered predominantly using bicycles and railway trains, and returned empty in the afternoon."
Lunch boxes are marked in several ways:
Abbreviations for collection points
Colour code for starting station
Number for destination station
Markings for handling dabbawala at destination, building and floor
A colour-coding system identifies the destination and recipient.
u/re_nonsequiturs
replying to u/dusmeyedin
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
150 POINTS
I saw a show once that described a service where people left their lunch in their fridge and the delivery service got it and heated it up and brought it to them at work
u/AnmlBri
replying to u/re_nonsequiturs
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
58 POINTS
I don’t understand the point of that. Why not just bring it to work with you and heat it up there? Or am I missing something?
u/smearley11
replying to u/AnmlBri
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
82 POINTS
What I saw the first time I read about the service is that the wife will stay home and cook the lunch that morning, then someone will come by and pick it up and deliver it. And construction workers/laborers don't always have access to storage or heating utilities on job site
u/Mirtosky
replying to u/yaosio
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
232 POINTS
I delivered to a nearby reservation frequently and boy my Google maps is full of pins for individual houses out there, because otherwise you would have not a single indication as to where to go
EDIT: Oops :/
u/DC-3
replying to u/Mirtosky
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
185 POINTS
Different Indian.
u/Acidwits
replying to u/DC-3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
75 POINTS
This is the feather/dot conversation isn't it.
u/ScourgeofWorlds
replying to u/Timbukthree
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
1285 POINTS
I'm visiting home for Thanksgiving and my mom sent me instructions to somewhere like that. I asked my dad and he sent me a screenshot of the location on Maps with a pin dropped. All I wanted was the name of the damn place...
u/BitterFaithlessness
replying to u/ScourgeofWorlds
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
603 POINTS
Lmao the screenshot. How on earth could he think that would help you? Ah, parents.
u/BigCockMcGee12
replying to u/BitterFaithlessness
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
410 POINTS
Depends on how zoomed in it was. If I recognized a place on the map and knew how to get there, it could be really helpful.
u/PandasInternational
replying to u/BigCockMcGee12
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
55 POINTS
Wouldn't be as helpful as dropping the pin and then pressing the share button to send the actual pin location, though
u/Skrappyross
replying to u/PandasInternational
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
65 POINTS
Sharing an actual pin is way better than sharing a screenshot of a pin, but the screenshot is still better than a long winded explanation of landmarks along the way.
u/kukiric
replying to u/Timbukthree
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
386 POINTS
On the flip side, there's the times when someone asks you how to get somewhere, and you give them an exact address and tell them to input it into Google Maps, and they reply with something like "google what?"
In hindsight, maybe that's why they're asking for directions. That or they're out of battery or cell service.
u/Bbradley821
replying to u/kukiric
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
292 POINTS
Tell them to MapQuest it.
u/None
replying to u/Bbradley821
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
73 POINTS
[deleted]
u/Bbradley821
replying to u/None
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
143 POINTS
Just don't forget to print it out before you leave.
u/TheEnKrypt
replying to u/Timbukthree
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
363 POINTS
If someone asks me for a place, the way I do it is to just tell them the name along with approx time, distance and direction.
"Where's the closest hospital?"
"There's a St Thomas Hospital roughly five minutes away. It's around 1km East from here."
Now pick any road that goes roughly East and after five minutes you should be close enough that you can ask someone else for exactly where it is.
Or you can fuck all that and use what I said to look it up on Google Maps and verify that it's the right place with the rest of what I said. Win-win. You should be good whether or not you use your phone to navigate.
Fuck people who tell you to take the third left after a brothel and then the eighth right after Narnia.
Edit: There appears to be some confusion here. When I say East, I don't mean literally verbally East. In real life I probably know which direction so I'll just physically point to that direction with my hand (which in my example happens to be East), but I guess when you're typing out a reddit comment, you don't think of communicating such a nuance properly.
u/LycanrocNet
replying to u/TheEnKrypt
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
281 POINTS
third left after a brothel and then the eighth right after Narnia.
Instructions unclear, ended up in Neverland
u/sirgog
replying to u/Timbukthree
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
261 POINTS
And this is why I ask "What's your street address?" rather than "Where do you live?"
You forgot to add “it’s past Darlene Johnson’s house, you know Darlene her son is John he’s the doctor” (literally no clue who these people are).
u/isocline
replying to u/AmyTwoTwats
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
2928 POINTS
★
Oh my god, this drives me insane. The most mundane question sets off a 15 minute history of the population of your hometown. "Hey, dad, where did you go this afternoon?"
"Well, you remember John Wright? He's Big Jim's daddy. You know Big Jim, he used to work at the gas station right by Delmar's. Well, it used to be Delmar's, now it's a Sears. But Big Jim was Jason's brother. Jason who's sister's daughter was that boy in your class's mom. The boy who got in trouble when he robbed that feed store. Anyway, John wanted me to look at some land he wants to buy. It's down right next to Margaret Shore's old house. You know Margaret..."
He lost me at John Wright, and the guy who robbed the feed store was in my sister's class, who is 10 years my senior.
Edit: Look, I understand the sentiment from a lot of replies saying, "He just wants to talk to you, he loves you, have empathy" and all, and I agree with that sentiment in general. But please trust that I know my dad, and that is not the place where this rambling is coming from in his case.
u/Hybernative
replying to u/isocline
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
168 POINTS
He wants to talk to you. About mundane stuff, because he wishes he could still talk to the people he's lost. He doesn't want to be on his deathbed, regretting not shooting-the-shit with his kid(s), and wondering if you'll deeply regret not talking more with him after he's gone. He doesn't want that to be you.
u/doesnt_ring_a_bell
replying to u/Hybernative
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
72 POINTS
He wants to talk to you.
Well he's doing a piss poor job of it. You'd figure with decades of experience talking to people that he's got over you, he'd be a bit better.
I'm gonna get downvoted here for being very harsh, but this is so fucking true. My dad's no longer with me, but it was basically the same story. He wanted to talk - and I wanted to talk with him! But every conversation devolved into a monologue on his choice subject.
Parents need to strive to have dialogues with their kids. Each party should be participating equally. It's not a child's duty to grin and bear it while listening to their parent just because "one day they'll no longer be there".
u/darps
replying to u/isocline
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
109 POINTS
And the older they get, the more their frame of reference becomes stuff from when they were young. Seniors will tell you about local gossip from 60 years ago and expect you to relate to it.
u/Dickballs835682
replying to u/darps
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
54 POINTS
That's awful. Not looking forward to the day everything and everyone I knew is in the past.
None of us know what it's like to be old until we get there, and I think a lot of people in this thread and in general could do with a little more empathy towards their struggles. And also remember they all spent decades breathing fumes from leaded gasoline and will all be dead soon anyway.
Not that there's anything wrong with jokes or criticism, I just like to remind everyone the people they're talking about are people.
u/mildannoyance
replying to u/isocline
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
58 POINTS
That's the kind of thing that would have annoyed me years ago, but now I love to hear my parents talk about mundane stuff like that, while they're still here.
u/A_Wild_Nudibranch
replying to u/isocline
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
40 POINTS
And even worse if there's mention of a year, especially between an older couple
"Howard, you know Big Jim's grand nephew. He was in high school around 1986, or was it 1989?"
"It's 1992 because that was the year the deli shut down"
"No no no, it was 1985... Or 1987... Honey!"
"Yeah?"
"When was Big Jim's niece in high school? She was dating that colored boy remember?"
u/Neverjust_the_tip
replying to u/AmyTwoTwats
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
471 POINTS
This hits to close to home...
u/BIgTrey3
replying to u/mpizzle3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
2628 POINTS
★
My dad gives directions only in cardinal directions, distances, and the numerical name of every road. God help you if you ask left or right and what landmarks are at the the turns.
“If your going south bound on 17, go 7.5 miles and turn west on 220. Take that for 5.2 miles then go north on 209a.”
Listen sacagawea, I’m just trying to meet you for dinner not find start an expedition
u/shiromancer
replying to u/BIgTrey3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
892 POINTS
My dad gives detailed directions for places that aren't part of the route. He's like, "you know when you take a right from here and then there's a lane with a McDonald's on the corner, then when you go further in there's a small coffeeshop next to a grocery store, and just a little further inside is that odd little house with the pink windows?'
"Yeah?"
"So what you want to do is ignore that lane completely, and keep heading down the main road"
THEN WHY GIVE ME ALL THOSE DETAILS
EDIT: Thank you all for the stories! I keep poking fun at him giving directions and we both laugh about it, so I'm sure he'll enjoy hearing all the similar anecdotes from your folks as well!
u/SirRogers
replying to u/shiromancer
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
184 POINTS
My dad is bad about saying stuff like:
"You know that curve where [random townsperson] got killed in a wreck?"
"Uh, no. I don't even know who that is."
"Sure you do! So anyway, when you pass that...."
u/Consanit
replying to u/BIgTrey3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
134 POINTS
OK Garmin
u/julieredl
replying to u/BIgTrey3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
46 POINTS
I actually prefer that method. Cardinal directions aren't dependent on what direction you're coming from like left and right are. It's easy to determine the cardinal directions where I live, but I suppose in an area with no obvious landmarks or no way to see the path of the sun, you'd have trouble.
u/CaptainSur
replying to u/BIgTrey3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
51 POINTS
I am your Dad. We are just telling it as it is. No more, no less.
u/scotems
replying to u/mpizzle3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
1110 POINTS
IN A WORLD WITHOUT CLOCKS, ONE RESTAURANT SEEKS TO RESTORE ORDER. WELCOME. TO TIME HORTON'S.
u/TED_FING_NUGENT
replying to u/mpizzle3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
465 POINTS
I'd honestly be happy with this. My mom just starts naming off streets names as if I have any idea where or what they are. I drove in her hometown the other week (I never been there) and told her I have the gps telling me where to go and that it will be another 20 minutes. Great, right?
No, she lists directions with 10 street names in under a minute that will save me a minute and got mad when I said I have no idea what she is saying and will just follow the gps and keep it simple.
When she asked where I was and named the cross streets that I could see she then quizzed me on if that street was before or after a random street and someone couldnt understand that I'm not memorizing every street name in a town that I probably wont drive back to for a couple of years. I can see asking me if I passed a major road or something, but simple small roads her friends lived on 50 years ago? How am I supposed to know that? The entire time too I'm trying to drive a standard in stop and go traffic in a bunch of hills at night in the snow while following a gps. Let me fucking drive
I just hang up when she starts giving me directions. Got to go bye click the hangup button on the steering wheel
u/Dhiox
replying to u/TED_FING_NUGENT
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
217 POINTS
My parents love to give me shortcuts to shave a couple minutes off a drive, when I'd rather just go straight down the highway and maybe deal with a little traffic. I live in a big city now, I can deal with suburban traffic.
u/unp0ss1bl3
replying to u/Dhiox
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
173 POINTS
Oh god my Dad does this all the time! Most of his directions involve cutting through some guys driveway, or some other thing.
u/luckyhunterdude
replying to u/mpizzle3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
405 POINTS
You forgot to switch off the "mom" mode. Activated "Boomer Dad mode" and you get street names and N,S,E,W directions.
u/ScourgeofWorlds
replying to u/luckyhunterdude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
84 POINTS
Still easier to follow than "Mom" mode if you know a little about where you are.
u/TakeMe2Texas
replying to u/mpizzle3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
66 POINTS
Holy shit this is my dad
u/gottamemethemall
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
39367 POINTS
★
"OK Boomer, open YouTube."
"How? Can you show me?"
u/_Disco-Stu
replying to u/gottamemethemall
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
8007 POINTS
Always quickly followed up with, “Oh! I know how to use computers, I knew how before anybody else did. I’m not dumb you know.”
As accusatory as possible for absolutely no reason when you’ve fixed the problem in under 2 minutes.
u/Supevict
replying to u/_Disco-Stu
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
2085 POINTS
Or on the other hand with my dad, "no mate/love, I don't even know how to switch one on! I just get my kids to do it, here, I'll give them the phone and you can talk to them while I go back to reading the newspaper"
u/marr
replying to u/Supevict
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
112 POINTS
The 'switch them on' thing is so bizarre. They have a power button like every other piece of consumer electronics in history. You press it. On modern systems it's often the only button on the damn case.
u/tossersonrye
replying to u/Supevict
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
50 POINTS
Your Dad is wiser than you think!
u/Gearski
replying to u/tossersonrye
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
46 POINTS
Legit this is dad/mum sorcery, they put you in a position where you have to do all the work while they relax...they aren't doing this by accident
u/MrXian
replying to u/_Disco-Stu
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
524 POINTS
I have the reverse conversation with my dad half the time computers pop up.
He'll claim he doesn't know how computers work, and I have to remind him that he's been using them for longer than I've been alive.
u/HandInUnloveableHand
replying to u/MrXian
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
41 POINTS
Same! My mother taught me DOS as a kid.
u/muskeos
replying to u/gottamemethemall
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
48 POINTS
They all type in "Utube" the first time they try to access it
u/ThanIWentTooTherePig
replying to u/muskeos
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
45 POINTS
Or they type in just youtube into the search bar, and for years they've been redirecting themselves to a google link of youtube, instead of typing in the dot com.
u/AltimaNEO
replying to u/ThanIWentTooTherePig
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
41 POINTS
Of course they gotta search for Google first
u/PM-ME-ROAST-BEEF
replying to u/AltimaNEO
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
52 POINTS
Lmao my mum made me switch her default engine to GoDuckGo and now she goes to GoDuckGo, types in “google”, goes to google, and then makes her search.
I told her that I can switch it back to google for default and her argument is that GDG has better privacy. I guess she thinks GDG cancels out googles privacy setting? Idk
u/Savageschool13
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
38928 POINTS
Ok Boomer, what's the weather like?
"Why don't you go for a walk and see for yourself?"
u/-Badger2-
replying to u/Savageschool13
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
29311 POINTS
★
"OK Boomer, how's the weather?"
"It's currently 26 degrees with a chance of snow in the afternoon. Heh, so much for global warming..."
u/archfapper
replying to u/-Badger2-
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
3686 POINTS
And some trite crack at Al Gore
u/Poem_for_your_sprog
replying to u/archfapper
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
4592 POINTS
★
The world - the Earth is not the same. As forests burn in fire and flame, And great reserves of ice at sea Are not the things they used to be. Where species die, and oceans rise, And climates climb to soaring highs, And all that is and was before Will come to end, will be no more.
We have to change - we have to fight.
I've looked outside.
It seems all right.
u/Z1rith
replying to u/Poem_for_your_sprog
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
1123 POINTS
everytime i see sprog i wonder what their gender is, but i dont want to find out and just picture them as a green onion in a cup of water
u/veronicalovesarchie
replying to u/Z1rith
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
293 POINTS
Now I do too. It feels nice.
u/ChivoDeJesus
replying to u/Z1rith
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
112 POINTS
I've always pictured sprog as Frog, from "Frog and Toad are Friends". Don't know why, but that just now dawned on me.
u/MrWeirdoFace
replying to u/Z1rith
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
60 POINTS
I just assume sprog is a sentient AI that's chosen to use its awareness to bring joy to an otherwise disheartening reality.
u/trey3rd
replying to u/archfapper
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
44 POINTS
"He has a house somewhere near the coast! Rabblerabblerabble!"
u/iwannabetheguytoo
replying to u/-Badger2-
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
631 POINTS
26 degrees is really warm though...
u/TreesSpeakingFinnish
replying to u/iwannabetheguytoo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
1912 POINTS
Not if you're using Freedom UnitsTM
u/Baronzemo
replying to u/TreesSpeakingFinnish
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
677 POINTS
In Canada this is especially poignant as we switched to metric and celsius in the late 70s so boomers still sometimes use Fahrenheit.
u/Matthew_A
replying to u/Baronzemo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
603 POINTS
So Americans are just the boomers of the world?
u/TheAspectofAkatosh
replying to u/Matthew_A
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
278 POINTS
I mean... We tend to like explosions and guns. How aren't we the boomers of the world?
u/GlGABITE
replying to u/iwannabetheguytoo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
54 POINTS
I assume they meant Fahrenheit, in which 26 is a few degrees below freezing
u/jroddy94
replying to u/-Badger2-
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
46 POINTS
I love how they never make that joke during the summer when record highs are being broken.
u/TheEnKrypt
replying to u/Savageschool13
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
8826 POINTS
"BACK IN MY DAY, WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE WEATHER"
u/that_guy_you_kno
replying to u/TheEnKrypt
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
1546 POINTS
obligatory
walked down the driveway to school in the snow
u/green_meklar
replying to u/that_guy_you_kno
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
1076 POINTS
Uphill both ways!
u/LotionlnBasketPutter
replying to u/green_meklar
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
71 POINTS
Barefoot, on broken glass.
u/tacochickenstrips
replying to u/LotionlnBasketPutter
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
58 POINTS
Climbing barbed wire fences
u/cmad182
replying to u/tacochickenstrips
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
55 POINTS
Through 6 feet of snow!
u/peachyfluf
replying to u/cmad182
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
48 POINTS
Fought the huns on the way
u/sternje
replying to u/Savageschool13
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
663 POINTS
You gotta window? Open it!
u/onesillymom
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
30568 POINTS
Ok Boomer, play today’s hits.
THAT is NOT music!
u/deepsoulfunk
replying to u/onesillymom
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
8447 POINTS
NOW that's NOT what I call music volume 12!
u/notathrowaway21347
replying to u/deepsoulfunk
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
10210 POINTS
★★★
Featuring!
A Lawnmower at 7:00am
An Unexplained Clicking in the Knee
Inappropriate Talk Radio at an Uncomfortable Volume
And the hot new single!
Can You Help Me Install this Email?
Also included, by popular demand!
That Loud, Obnoxious Cough
A Sneeze that Causes a 9.8 Richter Earthquake
A Baby? On *MY** Flight?!*
These great hits and many more! For the low low price of six installments of what I think college tuition costs nowadays!
Order today by calling 1-800-OK-BOOMR!
u/Matthewfabianiscool
replying to u/notathrowaway21347
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
1179 POINTS
You can’t forget that loud, obnoxious cough.
u/jacceteer
replying to u/Matthewfabianiscool
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
622 POINTS
And a sneeze that causes a 9.8 Richter earthquake.
u/OfficialSandwichMan
replying to u/jacceteer
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
763 POINTS
Ah yes, the Dad Sneeze™
Dad Sneezes. The dogs yelp in fear. The house shakes off its foundation. The windows blow out. All the wildlife in the surrounding woodlands flees; birds flock from the trees and the deer and foxes scamper away.
Then – quiet.
u/Dusty_bites_the_dust
replying to u/OfficialSandwichMan
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
56 POINTS
Holy shit, this is like the best description of a Dad sneeze that I ever read, one time I was in a doctor's waiting room and some dude that looked to be around his 40s sneezed and I swear I heard my ears ring for like 3 minutes.
u/UggoMacFuggo
replying to u/onesillymom
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
57 POINTS
I give them a pass on this one lmao. Most boomers came of age in the 60s and 70s and there was some great music then... Jimi Hendrix, the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd...
So the movie Dazed and Confused was made in the 90s but set in the 70s... it’s weird to think the kind of people portrayed in that movie are boomers. When did they become so square man?
u/88yj
replying to u/onesillymom
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
54 POINTS
queue frank sinatra
u/N0V0w3ls
replying to u/88yj
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
79 POINTS
"It's 'cue'! If you millennials would get your faces out of your iPads and your Netflix and read a book every once in a while...!"
u/Chaosncalculation
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
27085 POINTS
★
“OK Boomer, Call my Husband”
“Only if you tell me when I’m going to get grandkids!!! It’s about time!”
u/TheBellTest
replying to u/Chaosncalculation
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
5782 POINTS
Jesus Christ. My aunt every time I visit.
u/MrLewisC93
replying to u/TheBellTest
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
3321 POINTS
Im dreading my family coming to mine for christmas this year because of this reason. It'll be even worse this time around as we recently brought a dog. Or as they like to call it, a 'practice child'.
u/warmfuzzy22
replying to u/MrLewisC93
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
2813 POINTS
My go to is to just get jokingly graphic about sex until everyone around me is uncomfortable. Then change the subject.
u/CuntCommittee
replying to u/warmfuzzy22
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
3660 POINTS
Well I’ve been creampieing your daughter every night for the past 4 months but nothings happened, got any tips?
u/Efriminiz
replying to u/CuntCommittee
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
1988 POINTS
I feel like that is misspelled but neither creampying or creampiing look right either.
u/PUTTHATINMYMOUTH
replying to u/Efriminiz
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
1528 POINTS
Introduce a different verb to the sentence to address the plural noun:
Well I've been dumping creampies into your daughter every night for the past 4 months but nothings happened, got any tips?
u/AntManMax
replying to u/PUTTHATINMYMOUTH
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
998 POINTS
You can even use a thesaurus for the verb to get really wild with it:
Injecting creampies, blasting creampies, shooting creampies, spilling creampies, spurting creampies, discharging creampies, and, my personal favorite: pouring creampies
Some verbs you'd need to rearrange things a bit because the subject of the verb is the daughter instead of the creampie:
Flooding your daughter with creampies, distending your daughter / daughter's womb with creampies (poetic, don't you think!), supplying your daughter with creampies.
The possibilities are endless!
*edited to appease creampie enthusiast
u/Gillette0302
replying to u/AntManMax
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
1020 POINTS
So anyway, I started blasting
u/Transhout
replying to u/Efriminiz
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
60 POINTS
I think that the word creampie is actually already the plural, just often misused. A single individual creampie is actually a creampii.
u/WhiteBreadBuddha
replying to u/Transhout
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
51 POINTS
Nah, creampieing is a verb, not a plural noun. Pieing is the classic clown pastime that I use as a precedent to my argument that creampieing is the correct spelling.
u/roogoff
replying to u/CuntCommittee
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
57 POINTS
Good to meet you sir, by the way my dick basically lives inside your daughter.
u/FrijolRefrito
replying to u/warmfuzzy22
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
84 POINTS
Lmao I like that. Make it real graphic and low key vile to really throw em off:
"Actually she calls me Daddy every time I'm coming on her face so we're one step closer!"
"Yeah, Doctor said we've been doing it in the wrong hole, but we're gonna keep trying it for now!"
Boomer minds would explode
u/Abell370
replying to u/warmfuzzy22
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
51 POINTS
"When are you going to get kids?"
"Probably never, we're just way too much into anal."
That should stop any more questions.
u/theappendixofchrist3
replying to u/MrLewisC93
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
1102 POINTS
Just have the more emotional partner start crying and flee the room.
Look at the floor "We, um, we... Almost did. We were going to tell everyone today, but... Last week, it um, and it turns out we can't... So, thanks for asking."
Additional comments: wow this blew up. Don't get me wrong I understand how emotionally traumatizing a miscarriage is. I also understand how emotionally traumatizing infertility is. I hope everyone actually did get a kick out of my comments here. I am certain I offended somebody. For that I apologize and will make a donation to an appropriate non-profit institution.
u/MrLewisC93
replying to u/theappendixofchrist3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
534 POINTS
Deliciously evil but im a terrible actor and wouldnt be able to keep it up then i would feel bad for doing that to my nan.
u/InvisibleFacade
replying to u/MrLewisC93
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
138 POINTS
Not evil at all. It's honestly more evil to try to pressure people into making a life decision that costs them enormous amounts of time and money.
If people don't want kids there nothing wrong with that. The last thing this planet needs is more people.
u/adoptivedaddy
replying to u/theappendixofchrist3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
250 POINTS
I did this (for real, it wasn’t pretending) and what happened next was my parents checking I knew how to have sex. Uh huh.
In the end however, they paid tens of thousands to have us do multiple attempts at IVF, all of which failed and made us miserable and depressed for about five years.
u/eksorXx
replying to u/theappendixofchrist3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
92 POINTS
The pushy rudeness doesn't end with that. They'll 100% know a fantastic fertility doctor, personally of course or at least enough to continuously get you bombarded with options and never letting you forget they're only trying to help you with your problems.. your.. problems...
u/Kaydince
replying to u/MrLewisC93
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
789 POINTS
Run out of the room crying. Have SO glare at them and follow you. Enjoy a nice beverage and then go back and say that you don't want to talk about it.
Or deflect to siblings/cousins who aren't there. "Hey, brother is older than I am, ask him"
I really don't like these questions.
u/VoidZero1337
replying to u/Kaydince
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
84 POINTS
Sadly it wont stop there at least with my family. Nosey fuckers will dig into it even more if you do that, just more sneakily. Each one of them will find you when youre alone and start a super serious conversation because theyre 'deeply concerned' etc. etc.
u/un-taken_username
replying to u/MrLewisC93
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
68 POINTS
"practice child"
🤢🤮
u/Maninhartsford
replying to u/MrLewisC93
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
64 POINTS
Here's your move - act like the dog is your real child. He/she's 17 and about to move out to college. You're not sure if you can handle it. Then you start crying.
u/a-common-username
replying to u/TheBellTest
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
46 POINTS
Then tell her to just ask her own children for grandkids. Your children won’t be your aunts grandchildren, unless you’re from Alabama of course.
u/dirty_0
replying to u/Chaosncalculation
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
2862 POINTS
"When are you going to start finishing inside our daughter?"
u/SunnyVision
replying to u/dirty_0
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
611 POINTS
I feel like this could be a stand up bit
u/cumpod
replying to u/SunnyVision
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
58 POINTS
My cousin told me if you do it standing up then you’re not have a baby, he’s had tons of sex so I don’t think this would be what a boomer would want.
u/Fated_to_Die
replying to u/cumpod
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
52 POINTS
Thanks, cum pod.
u/Parpooops
replying to u/dirty_0
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
362 POINTS
Always finish on da Bach. Never finish on Debussy.
u/Eternallydecent
replying to u/dirty_0
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
85 POINTS
Honestly this. It’s like when people tell you they’re trying for a kid and you don’t know how to react because they’re pretty much telling you he’s creampieing her often, but it’s somehow sociably acceptable lmao
u/AFK_Tornado
replying to u/Eternallydecent
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
238 POINTS
This one might be on you. Everyone should be mature enough to handle the basic facts of reproduction.
u/Great_Bacca
replying to u/AFK_Tornado
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
108 POINTS
I’m with you on this. People make people, it’s not a new or gross thing.
u/mlskid
replying to u/dirty_0
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
50 POINTS
When some of my closer co-workers started asking me this I told them, "When I stop busting on her face."
Surprisingly didn't get asked about it much after that.
u/HiddenLayer5
replying to u/Chaosncalculation
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
55 POINTS
"We're reducing both our economic and environmental impact by not having children. It's not like humanity is an endangered species or anything."
u/VashBandicoot
replying to u/Chaosncalculation
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
49 POINTS
I have a son, but i still deal with my mom asking about more grandkids from me just because I'm the only one of her children that isn't in an interracial relationship and mom is a blatant racist.
u/ScooterMcThumbkin
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
23760 POINTS
★★
"Ok Boomer, how's the weather today?"
"Alexa?"
"No, you're supposed to answer me"
"Alexa are you listening? I can't tell if it's listening. Do I start talking yet? I think it stopped. Directions to this address....Alexa?"
u/SheolCodeMonkey
replying to u/ScooterMcThumbkin
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
8582 POINTS
★★
My dad's problem is more that he's way too fucking slow. I've literally seen an exchange that went something like this when he wanted Alexa to play "Man on the Silver Mountain" by Rainbow
Dad: "Alexa"
Alexa: starts listening
Dad: massive pause as he realises he doesn't actually know what he wants to ask her
Alexa: "Sorry, I didn't catch that"
Dad: "Alexa"
Alexa: starts listening
Dad: "Play me..."
Alexa: "Sorry, I didn't catch that"
Dad: "Alexa, shut the fuck up and listen for a sec"
Alexa: "Sorry, I don't understand"
Dad: "Alexa..."
Alexa: starts listening
Dad: "Play me... Man..."
Alexa: starts searching for "Man"
Dad: "...on the..."
Alexa: "Sorry, I couldn't find that in your library"
u/avocadohnoyoudidnt
replying to u/SheolCodeMonkey
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
2516 POINTS
Wow, this is eerily accurate.
u/Trash_Count
replying to u/avocadohnoyoudidnt
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
90 POINTS
A friend of mine is the exact opposite, he would speak too quickly for Alexa to start listening so she only got half of what he was saying then got confused.
u/Shpaan
replying to u/Trash_Count
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
61 POINTS
For some reason both variants are incredibly frustrating for me to imagine.
u/livesinacabin
replying to u/Shpaan
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
65 POINTS
Me too. I don't understand what's so difficult about it. Prepare a sentence that conveys what you want (Play Man on the Moon), and simply say it. Perhaps a little bit slower and/or clearer than normal. How can it be so difficult for grown people to literally talk?
If you need a few tries to get the hang of it I understand, but there are so many people who never learns.
Why???
u/Chikes
replying to u/SheolCodeMonkey
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
655 POINTS
Wait until you have 3 kids asking her questions all at once
u/GoddessOfRoadAndSky
replying to u/Chikes
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
82 POINTS
After my nephews learned how I turn on the living room lights with Alexa, they started shouting at it to turn them on, off, on, off, on, off...
Eventually Alexa said something along the lines of, "It seems you're having a dispute" and stopped responding. The kids were confused. I thought it was hilarious.
u/skinny_malone
replying to u/GoddessOfRoadAndSky
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
50 POINTS
Somebody in the Alexa development department definitely has multiple kids.
u/RosatoLion
replying to u/Chikes
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
74 POINTS
My son asked Alexa to play old town road...
Alexa: Here are some facts about Saudi Arabia
u/McFlyParadox
replying to u/RosatoLion
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
39 POINTS
One of the many reasons I went with Google: it's plugged straight into Google.
That, and they skyway already read my email, know my calendar, and where I go everyday. Might as well keep it in the family, rather than invite Amazon to join the party as well.
u/discodropper
replying to u/ScooterMcThumbkin
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
3218 POINTS
Lol this is legit my mom
u/typeyhands
replying to u/discodropper
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
1801 POINTS
Dude one time my mom sent me a Facebook message to warn me that she’d sent me a text. Friggin adorable
u/flickh
replying to u/typeyhands
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
1762 POINTS
One time my mom facetimed me and swapped the camera so the whole call, all I could see was her feet. Mom, don’t you think it’s weird that you’re looking at me on the screen and there’s a little movie about feet in the corner? Is the world so weird to you that this doesn’t register as a mistake of some kind?
It was hilarious.
Ps: she was born in 37, so pre-boomer
u/MaestroLogical
replying to u/flickh
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
512 POINTS
To be fair, I imagine she's learned to block out all the extraneous ads we're bombarded with. Probably just thought it was some orthopedic ad and ignored it. ;p
u/sonofaresiii
replying to u/flickh
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
51 POINTS
you’re looking at me on the screen and there’s a little movie about feet in the corner?
There's this weird thing I've noticed where for people who didn't grow up on "interactive screens" (eg video games, smartphones, etc.)
they just have absolute blind spots to information on the screen. Like it's just this weird tunnel vision.
I noticed it when my fiancee started gaming with me, and she'd constantly ask, like, "How did you figure out how to jump?"
and I'd just stare at her dumbfounded and say
"...press A. It says that on the screen. Right now. Right above your character's head, it says 'Press A to jump'." (joking tone, obviously)
That kind of thing happens all the time. They just mentally reject any extraneous information.
u/DoctorDiagram
replying to u/ScooterMcThumbkin
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
2663 POINTS
My grandma has full on conversations with Siri. "Hello, Siri? What is the name of the museum in Maryland that is getting written up in the-"
Siri: "Here is a list of museums in Maryland."
Grandma: "-Washington Post. What did she just say? Siri, what did you say? I can't stand this woman. SIRI?!"
Siri: "Do you want to see articles from the Washington Post?
Grandma: "No I would not. I would like to know the name of the museum that was written up there."
Siri: "..."
Grandma: "Oh for heavens sake how to you talk to this batty woman?"
u/Teelo888
replying to u/DoctorDiagram
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
1303 POINTS
To be fair Siri is fucking terrible, at least compared to Alexa. I swear Siri hasn’t improved a bit in the last 5 years.
u/e-chem-nerd
replying to u/Teelo888
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
836 POINTS
Siri also only ever uses Yelp when you look up restaurants or stores, I assume because Apple made a deal with them. I don’t want to be tethered to Yelp, which forces me to download their app to read reviews on mobile. It’s a huge loss of functionality and the hill I will die on in my hatred of Apple.
u/JTswift
replying to u/e-chem-nerd
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
47 POINTS
You can't even look at the pictures for a place without it trying to install the Yelp app.
u/Accentu
replying to u/Teelo888
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
142 POINTS
And Alexa is terrible compared to the Google assistant. I have an echo dot downstairs and a Google home mini upstairs. Alexa answers questions either wrong or not at all... so she ends up as a kitchen timer 99% of the time.
u/Godphree
replying to u/Accentu
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
54 POINTS
OMG this. "Alexa, set timer for 10 minutes."
Ten minutes later: "Beep beep BOOP BOOP"
"Alexa, STOP."
u/megatesla
replying to u/Teelo888
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
58 POINTS
I'm pretty sure Siri has actually gotten dumber than when she was first written.
u/WaluigisOveralls
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
22154 POINTS
★
"OK Boomer, restaurants near by"
"we have food at home"
u/Tinkrr2
replying to u/WaluigisOveralls
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
3710 POINTS
This is good advice to keep you from blowing all your money on avocado toast.
u/SeverelyModerate
replying to u/Tinkrr2
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
975 POINTS
I bought an avocado toast ornament at Michael’s this year. Gonna hang it up in my house that I own. By myself. Suck on that, Boomer Babies!
u/Tinkrr2
replying to u/SeverelyModerate
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
707 POINTS
Wait, who let you buy a house? I thought there were laws against such things for millennials.
u/Burberry_Timbs
replying to u/Tinkrr2
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
601 POINTS
He downloaded you fucking out of touch boomer
u/Tinkrr2
replying to u/Burberry_Timbs
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
264 POINTS
Downloaded? Sorry, I don't listen to hip hop.
u/kyeosh
replying to u/Burberry_Timbs
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
211 POINTS
YOU WOULDN'T DOWNLOAD A HOUSE
u/rworld1
replying to u/Tinkrr2
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
370 POINTS
I actually just realized I've lost 25 lbs in 3 months and the only change was cutting out eating out
u/Tinkrr2
replying to u/rworld1
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
239 POINTS
I know that feeling. I used to eat out all the time in college and one day noticed how much I was spending on it. Once I dropped that habit, not only did I lose weight but also I enjoyed the occasional going out way more than the constant eating out.
u/taywally
replying to u/Tinkrr2
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
93 POINTS
Bet your girlfriend was sad about that
u/CraftyBarnardo
replying to u/taywally
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
235 POINTS
I know that girls like to be taken on dates for dinner and such, but you can replace eating out with less expensive dates like walks in the park, or going to fly kites. Or you can give her more oral sex, women like that too.
u/Yitram
replying to u/CraftyBarnardo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
63 POINTS
The real LPT is in the comments.
u/davisherm
replying to u/WaluigisOveralls
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
3182 POINTS
The nearest cracker barrel is only 28.6 miles away.
u/CalamityCactus
replying to u/davisherm
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
1694 POINTS
My parents, prime Boomers, drove from Tennessee to Washington State. They routed to as many Cracker Barrel’s as possible. They’re confused and sad that there isn’t a single one within driving distance of Seattle. They also insisted on driving an hour north of Seattle to go to Wal Mart for some random shit that was readily available nearby. They’re categorically insane.
u/MarcBulldog88
replying to u/CalamityCactus
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
631 POINTS
This sounds less like boomers specifically, and more like they're just unworldly southerners.
u/IMIndyJones
replying to u/MarcBulldog88
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
110 POINTS
I don't think it's even southerners specifically, (other than OP's parents being southern). I've had people from Michigan come to Chicago, where we have some amazing food, and insist on finding an Olive Garden. Hell, even some friends born here in the burbs can't get out of their comfort zones.
u/Thanks_Aubameyang
replying to u/IMIndyJones
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
46 POINTS
I live in Hawaii and local people are obsessed with Olive Garden. Like they cant visit the mainland without finding one. That and Trader Joes. Fucking wild. There would be riots if one opened on oahu.
u/squirrels33
replying to u/CalamityCactus
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
137 POINTS
Insane? They sound like a couple normal ‘muricans to me.
u/finnknit
replying to u/CalamityCactus
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
61 POINTS
Cracker Barrell used to give out free maps of the USA that had the location of every Cracker Barrell restaurant marked.
Boomers love chain restaurants. My hometown Facebook news page is full of people complaining about another dollar store or urgent care opening up. "We don't need another dollar store! How about a Wendy's, Applebees, or Taco Bell!?"
u/Aggregatetim
replying to u/WaluigisOveralls
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
67 POINTS
Why ask? It would always point you to a Denny's anyway. "The Bourbon chicken is to DIE for!"
u/00dontask
replying to u/WaluigisOveralls
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
65 POINTS
"It's after 4:30. You have missed supper time."
u/TinktheChi
replying to u/WaluigisOveralls
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
44 POINTS
And don't hold the fridge door open all night, you're not paying to air condition the neighborhood!
u/Wyvrex
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
20480 POINTS
★
"Ok boomer, Engineering job listings in my area."
"Job listings? You are just playing around on the internet. Figure out where you want to work and go down there. Ask to speak with a manager. Shake his hand, look him in the eye and ask for a job!"
Edit: This post brought to you by painful memories of job hunting during the 2008 recession. My dad was getting on my case every day about "playing on the computer" when I was checking job sites and going through their infuriating sites that make me upload my resume, then fill in fields that are on my resume three different times. Someone in the comments below dropped the classic "Pound the pavement" and I felt my blood pressure spike. Thanks.
u/joec388
replying to u/Wyvrex
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
9491 POINTS
★
Didn't work, couldn't get buzzed in through the security door. Also the manager isn't on-site and works remote from another city. Also they don't hire directly so you have to apply to the staffing agency first. Also the position advertised through the staffing agency isn't really open because they've already selected someone internally, and only posted it to meet regulations.
u/AtbBerare
replying to u/joec388
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
4578 POINTS
You: "OK boomer, it didn't work, couldn't get buzzed in through the security door. Also the manager isn't on-site and works remote from another city. Also they don't hire directly so you have to apply to the staffing agency first. Also the position advertised through the staffing agency isn't really open because they've already selected someone internally, and only posted it to meet regulations."
OK boomer:" You are just making excuses."
u/Straight_Ace
replying to u/AtbBerare
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
1191 POINTS
Ugh literally the very response I get from my mother and grandmother.
u/raspberrykoolaid
replying to u/Straight_Ace
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
1227 POINTS
I can't fucking stand people who don't know the difference between a 'reason' and an 'excuse'. They just assume you're a raging idiot that hasn't thought out the problem at all. they want you to accept their "solution" that they've given 2 seconds of their life to come up with and then get mad that their stupid answer isn't received as a genius life altering solution you could never have come up with on your own.
u/tremblinglikeaflower
replying to u/raspberrykoolaid
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
324 POINTS
Yep! And they'll bring up the friend's son, who's do much better and successful than you are
u/OhHeckf
replying to u/joec388
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
57 POINTS
They're not really hiring, they're just surveying the market to see what they could have and for what price. Sometimes, they'll even interview people in person and not hire anyone.
u/green_meklar
replying to u/Wyvrex
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
5185 POINTS
"And dress smartly! I mean with a suit and tie!"
"OK boomer, how do I tie a tie?"
"What are you asking me for? Do you plan to rely on me for everything for the rest of your life? You need to show more initiative and responsibility!"
u/MrTerribleArtist
replying to u/green_meklar
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
1518 POINTS
... this one actually got to me a little bit..
u/ColoneISanders
replying to u/MrTerribleArtist
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
73 POINTS
This whole chain is giving me flashbacks to when I was younger and the conversations I'd have with my Dad...
u/HippoKingOfOld
replying to u/green_meklar
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
698 POINTS
"Dad, can you come over and show me how to fix the water pump?"
"My god your generation is useless."
"Well how did you learn to fix a pump?"
"My dad showed me."
...................................
u/Thoth74
replying to u/HippoKingOfOld
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
207 POINTS
Fine. Give me HIS number. Because apparently you, also, are useless.
u/Rick-476
replying to u/Wyvrex
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
183 POINTS
It took a year of applying and having no luck before my dad realized that the Internet doesn't make the whole process easier or more expedient. What's ironic is when I switched industries and it became the norm to physically go down the company and fill out an application. Gotta say, kinda wish you could go down to some place you want to work at and actually talk to someone.
u/8282FergasaurusRexx
replying to u/Wyvrex
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
94 POINTS
Holy shit. This was my dad's real advice for me when I was an unemployed 22 year old. He also told me that if I get rejected to just keep showing up every day until the boss sees how "hungry" I am.
u/iammabanana
replying to u/8282FergasaurusRexx
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
59 POINTS
That's a good way to get banned from a company
u/windyx
replying to u/Wyvrex
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
42 POINTS
When I was looking for a job this is literally what my father told me to do, and was very insistent about it.
Now I work as a recruiter for a medium sized company in Europe. If your application isn't processed through the system, we automatically breach Data Privacy Protection under EU law. No resumes over email either.
Basically it's "not-compliant" for a company to accept your resume without your explicit consent for them to read it. Also they need to delete/destroy all of your data after a period of 6 months unless you specifically give them permission to have it for longer.
So yeah, don't hit the pavement. If you want to meet managers go to a networking event, conference or Meetup. Get their card, apply on their webpage and then let them know that you applied so that they can pull your application ahead of other people pending CV review. (Emailing the CV also kinda works but it's a hassle for them since they have to manually input you in the system OR they give this to a recruiter to do and then they're mad at you).
Edit: PS. Managers who need to hire people in their team/company also go to the these events to meet potential employees. You have the chance to do a mini-interview on the spot!
u/PM_ME_UR_FAVE-SHIRT
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
19906 POINTS
OK Boomer, how's the weather today?
"Open the window and stick your arm out. Is it wet? That must mean it's raining. Is it cold? Put on a sweater. Try figuring out things on your own kiddo."
u/Wolfandhusky12
replying to u/PM_ME_UR_FAVE-SHIRT
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
5786 POINTS
This is the nicest boomer reply just cause he said kiddo
u/Radventure
replying to u/Wolfandhusky12
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
1773 POINTS
I’m in my early 20s and I use kiddo am I a secret boomer
u/Wsleep
replying to u/Radventure
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
1341 POINTS
The council will get back to you with a verdict
u/None
replying to u/Wsleep
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
679 POINTS
We find the defendant guilty.
u/Wsleep
replying to u/None
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
451 POINTS
Well that was quick
u/Ultimatecookie57
replying to u/Wsleep
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
344 POINTS
No don't listen to that guy. He doesn't even work here and he's drinking at 10:38. What a disgrace. The verdict will be posted tommorow.
u/CatChanDuck
replying to u/Ultimatecookie57
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
146 POINTS
Change of plans, we’ve come to a verdict now. Guilty.
u/electricbee1
replying to u/CatChanDuck
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
68 POINTS
Shall he be hanged?
Edit: What shall be his punishment?
u/mosstrich
replying to u/electricbee1
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
75 POINTS
The same punishment that most millennials must abide. Crippling student loan debt.
u/CatChanDuck
replying to u/electricbee1
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
47 POINTS
With all due haste.
u/Cptcuddlybuns
replying to u/Wolfandhusky12
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
94 POINTS
Ah but it's a patronizing kiddo, not an affectionate kiddo. Important difference.
u/HiddenLayer5
replying to u/PM_ME_UR_FAVE-SHIRT
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
59 POINTS
Whereas a Boomer would absolutely be irate if you turned off the TV during the weather forecast. Ironic.
u/riiptemp
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
17054 POINTS
“Ok boomer, how can I pay for college?”
“Write a check like I did!”
u/Lover_Of_The_Light
replying to u/riiptemp
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
8995 POINTS
I once got in an online debate with my uncle about this very subject. His argument was that he worked a minimum wage job to put himself through college and support his family, so we youngsters should quit complaining. To prove my point, I calculated how many hours it would take at current minimum wage just to pay current tuition at his alma mater, and it was over 100 hours per week. He was so angry that a year and a half later he still had the date of that argument memorized and cited it as an example of my disrespectful attitude.
u/Antice
replying to u/Lover_Of_The_Light
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
8135 POINTS
Millenial: proves a point using math.
Boomer: stop disrespecting me.
u/D-Zee
replying to u/Antice
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
6427 POINTS
★★
When you're being disrespected by mathematics you know you're fucked
u/lalakingmalibog
replying to u/D-Zee
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
302 POINTS
2 + 2 is 4
Minus 1 that's 3
Quick maths
u/plipyplop
replying to u/lalakingmalibog
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
67 POINTS
Them's fightin' words!
u/MrAcurite
replying to u/D-Zee
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
149 POINTS
Math has a well known liberal bias
u/Dexaan
replying to u/Antice
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
1350 POINTS
Exactly the kind of situation that "Ok Boomer" is for.
u/PettyCrimeMan
replying to u/Dexaan
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
144 POINTS
X was fine, stop complaining
X is wrong now though
X was fine when I was a Y
X is different now here is maths to prove it.
Your attitude is disrepectful you snowflake
Heh... You fell right in to my trap. I activate OK BOOMER. Your life points are 0 and I banish you to the old folks realm.
u/Automatree
replying to u/Antice
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
121 POINTS
That's exactly why "OK Boomer" is trending as a reply. They're gonna be offended no matter how you disagree, why bother wasting your time with the math if they're just gonna ignore it anyways?
u/HyruleanMaster
replying to u/Lover_Of_The_Light
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
1502 POINTS
I love when you prove someone wrong so decisively they have no rebuttal but the typical boomer "don't disrespect me."
u/nrkyrox
replying to u/HyruleanMaster
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
653 POINTS
That's why we invented "Okay boomer".
u/HellFyri
replying to u/HyruleanMaster
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
40 POINTS
I get the good old “your the child, not the parent” like pls F off already
Source: dealing with my Mum in day to day life
u/Slammpig
replying to u/Lover_Of_The_Light
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
693 POINTS
Well, at least his anger proves you right... not like my mom, when confronted with maths and facts, she goes "you cant belive everything you read online, your facts are wrong" *cries in multiple sources\*
u/-FeistyRabbitSauce-
replying to u/Slammpig
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
466 POINTS
Also mom: Goes and believes everything she reads on facebook.
u/Slammpig
replying to u/-FeistyRabbitSauce-
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
54 POINTS
Yup, pretty much! Wikipedia is bad and everyone can edit it.. but Facebook is a failsafe source of wisdom!
u/ah-tow-wah
replying to u/Lover_Of_The_Light
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
134 POINTS
Come on now... that's only 14 hours a day. You only need 8 hours to sleep and 1 or 2 to eat, so you should be good. Get to it!
u/OnCommence17
replying to u/riiptemp
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
5381 POINTS
Your great uncle set up a table in the park and repaired bicycles one summer when he wanted money for college. After college he got a job at the lab equipment factory by giving the manager a firm handshake and bought a house in the city at age 23. I guess you kids just have other priorities these days.
u/DrWho1970
replying to u/OnCommence17
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
2341 POINTS
These days you would probably get a citation for operating without a business license.
u/Harregarre
replying to u/DrWho1970
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
1902 POINTS
Boomers like barriers to entry to protect themselves.
Also boomers; why don't you guys just start a business and become wealthy like us?
u/Keianh
replying to u/Harregarre
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
952 POINTS
Reminds me of Mitt Romney back when he was campaigning:
"Just get a $20,000 loan and start a business"
Sure Senator Romney, it's just that easy to be self employed you Bain Capital business liquidating horse's ass!
u/rohmish
replying to u/Keianh
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
554 POINTS
That 20k wouldn't be enough to get all the prerequisites in place these days
u/LewisRyan
replying to u/rohmish
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
66 POINTS
Just here to say, if you don’t have a car to get to said job, that 20k is half gone just to get out of your neighborhood.
u/rohmish
replying to u/LewisRyan
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
60 POINTS
This!!!
I recently moved to North America and I just hate the public transit. Its costly, unreliable, sparse, not well connected. Granted i used to live in a mega city and current city even isn't close to that but this is a rapidly growing, rather dense, modern city.
A <10 mins ride by car is almost an hour in bus plus the wait (15 mins for 2 hours, 30 min off peak for a busy route) and not to mention buses are 30+ mins delayed.
u/ZombieElvis
replying to u/OnCommence17
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
945 POINTS
I guess you kids just have other priorities these days.
We do! They're called "eating" and "shelter".
u/snukebox_hero
replying to u/ZombieElvis
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
41 POINTS
Snowflake
u/sonrad10
replying to u/snukebox_hero
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
49 POINTS
Back in my day we didn't even have food
u/flickh
replying to u/OnCommence17
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
894 POINTS
Steve Jobs said he called people like the head of development for HP and asked for spare parts, no one ever refused to take his call. When he was just some dude working in his garage. HP even gave him a job in the factory.
Ok Steve
u/iatetacos
replying to u/flickh
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
631 POINTS
And yet the entirety of the 15 years I have done electronic repairs, his company has refused to sell parts. Or even send parts for a warranty repair.
u/coolbond1
replying to u/iatetacos
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
62 POINTS
Apple is horrible when it comes to that, if they had their way all apple products would be disposable
u/dym_sh
replying to u/coolbond1
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
55 POINTS
and self-destruct the moment a new one comes out,
since force-updating iOS to make everything slower is not always enough
u/None
replying to u/iatetacos
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
47 POINTS
Ahhaha it's like jobs saw that shit and realized he could make tonnes of money off ppl that idolized his products.
The thing I hate most about automation. Is that it's almost impossible to get help if your account has a problem on the developers end that they can't solve.
Imagine being an Amazon seller with a good account that gets glitched with another account and you lose all access to your account and the only help you can get is a customer support from the Philippines with no knowledge of the back end code to really help with your problem.
Took 2 months for Amazon to fix my account properly.
Imagine, if technology becomes hyper real and is indistinguishable from reality..if you disconnected..you'd probably have a mental breakdown. And also not be able to buy food or go into certain buildings.
Like wtf. The future could be ostensibly scary.
Sorry I'm high.
TL;DR: I'm high
u/crisader
replying to u/flickh
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
507 POINTS
Then it's even more rude of him, that I've been trying to reach him for years, but he's never picking up.
u/Helpimstuckinreddit
replying to u/crisader
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
87 POINTS
Man I have some bad news for you
u/jrhoffa
replying to u/Helpimstuckinreddit
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
109 POINTS
You mean fruit doesn't cure cancer?
u/FourthLife
replying to u/riiptemp
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
710 POINTS
Just work part time at the local factory! I did that during summers and had enough for college tuition, plus enough left over at the end to afford a house!
u/SlitScan
replying to u/FourthLife
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
64 POINTS
I don't speak Mandarin.
u/Tawny_Harpy
replying to u/FourthLife
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
53 POINTS
“Part time”
Lol most factories nowadays require you to work 40 hours plus overtime.
u/GreystarOrg
replying to u/riiptemp
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
289 POINTS
"Just work a part time job!"
u/c71score
replying to u/riiptemp
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
283 POINTS
"OK boomer, what's a check?"
"A check is how you pay for groceries in the express lane"
u/howiejriii
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
16995 POINTS
OK Boomer look up therapists near me
Have you tried thinking positive thoughts?
u/Shpookie_Angel
replying to u/howiejriii
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
3613 POINTS
Well, have you? Back in my day, we used to pull up our bootstraps and grit our teeth. Young folks these days, don't even know what's going on in your heads.
u/hatchetthehacker
replying to u/Shpookie_Angel
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
1463 POINTS
The fact that boomers don't understand the meaning of pulling yourself up by the bootstraps never ceases to agrivate me
u/Guest06
replying to u/hatchetthehacker
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
564 POINTS
What does it mean? Genuine question.
Edit: thanks for the definitions, I'm clear on the meaning now.
u/CYNIC_Torgon
replying to u/Guest06
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
1229 POINTS
If I'm not mistaken, its supposed to be a joke or like purposely poor advice, as pulling yourself up by your bootstraps would achieve basically nothing in most scenarios, even figuratively as you wouldn't get very far.
u/Pseudoboss11
replying to u/CYNIC_Torgon
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
1061 POINTS
A key piece of information is that bootstraps are straps on high boots, like cowboy boots, to help you put them on.
Now imagine standing in your boots, and pulling on them, expecting to just levitate into the air.
u/MegaPompoen
replying to u/Pseudoboss11
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
299 POINTS
Its like that troll meme where you sit in a metal bucket and hold a magnet above your head to fly
u/Spikeroog
replying to u/MegaPompoen
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
81 POINTS
It's 6 am and I spent solid 5 minutes to contemplate why I have to shit in the bucket for this to work.
u/Guest06
replying to u/CYNIC_Torgon
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
281 POINTS
"You know back in my day "gay" didn't mean a queer! This is the same thing! Goddamn millennials twisting words like they own them!"
u/Totally_Not_A_Soviet
replying to u/Guest06
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
184 POINTS
It was bassicly meant to say something was impossible, as pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is impossible
u/SorrowfulSouls
replying to u/howiejriii
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
990 POINTS
In my place it actually goes like this
Me - "Can I please get into counseling or get a therapist?"
Boomers - "Have you tried praying and asking for god to help you?"
u/Jango1113
replying to u/SorrowfulSouls
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
697 POINTS
My answer to that will always be "Yeah, God provided a professional to help me." They don't know how to respond and it's kinda funny.
u/ediblesprysky
replying to u/Jango1113
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
147 POINTS
This is a good response for any sort of luddite religious silliness. God has provided the answer to this stupid problem you're having through modern technology. You're basically already rejecting his help, so like, what more do you want?
u/Trinitykill
replying to u/ediblesprysky
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
66 POINTS
Its like the joke about how one day a town begins to flood, a lot of people get evacuated but the town vicar gets trapped on his roof as the water level keeps rising.
The vicar prays to God to save him. Later on a couple of local residents in a dinghy spot the vicar and shout for him to jump down and get into their boat. The vicar looks at the water and denies, saying "it's alright, god will save me." So the dinghy moves on.
Later a rescue boat comes by looking for stranded people and they spot the vicar and ask him to jump to their boat but he refuses, saying "God will save me" so the boat moves on.
Finally the water has risen so much that the vicar's ankles are under. Suddenly a rescue helicopter flies above and drops their ladder. But the vicar denies them as well. "Go save the others first, God will save me".
Eventually the water rises and the vicar drowns. When he opens his eyes he's stood at the pearly gates of heaven and God is before him. The vicar angrily points, "my lord I prayed all day in your name, why did you not save me?".
God stares him down and says "I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more do you fuckin want?"
u/skittlesallday
replying to u/howiejriii
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
610 POINTS
jUsT gO oUtSiDe
u/AbortMeDaddy01
replying to u/skittlesallday
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
471 POINTS
how the fuck is cyber bullying real? JUST TURN OFF THE SCREEN AND WALK AWAY
u/Thagyr
replying to u/AbortMeDaddy01
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
249 POINTS
Oh, you're getting bullied on your computer?...can you pause it?
u/Hartknockz
replying to u/Thagyr
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
42 POINTS
YOU CAN'T PAUSE ONLINE BULLYING!!!
u/XperiMental21
replying to u/AbortMeDaddy01
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
87 POINTS
I mean... This one sounds legitimate
u/EverGreatestxX
replying to u/XperiMental21
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
107 POINTS
The thing is cyberbullies are usually people you know in real life like a classmate in high school. Not to mention social media is often a big part of socializing in modern middle/high schools.
u/AmeenaTutu
replying to u/howiejriii
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
274 POINTS
In my day, our therapist was your granddad's belt. If we were caught sulking, dad would whoop it out of us.
If you saw the neighbor kid getting whooped in the front yard, you just assumed he did something to deserve it.
u/shygirlturnedsassy
replying to u/AmeenaTutu
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
84 POINTS
It never seizes to amaze how much these assholes like to normalize and even glorify child abuse.
u/Dr_fish
replying to u/shygirlturnedsassy
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
40 POINTS
"Because I turned out fine!"
Except when they think child abuse is okay, and even perpetuate it themselves as part of the cycle of inter-generational abuse, then nah, you didn't turn out okay.
u/unnaturalorder
replying to u/howiejriii
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
207 POINTS
Or, alternatively, not being sad?
u/ousteT
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:39:50
15827 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, what time is it?''
"What? You don't know how to read a clock? The future is doomed."
u/Curator44
replying to u/ousteT
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:39:50
4687 POINTS
Na the boomer answer would be
Time for you to get a watch
u/luckyhunterdude
replying to u/Curator44
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:39:50
2647 POINTS
That's a dad answer. not just limited to a certain generation.
u/SirGanjaSpliffington
replying to u/luckyhunterdude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:39:50
1863 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, set a reminder for December 11th. Doctors appointment at 10am."
"See that's the problem with you millennials. You're too dependent on smartphones for everything. Why are you setting up a doctor's appointment anyway? If you're not dying you don't need to go to the hospital. Back in my day you don't go to the doctors when you feel sick. You do what real men do and tough it out. Only sissy Nancy boys go to the doctors for feeling sick. Real men only go to the doctors when they have real problems like getting stabbed through the abdomen with a rusty bayonet from the VC or contracted syphilis from a Saigon whore."
Edit: I forgot to put quotation marks.
u/luckyhunterdude
replying to u/SirGanjaSpliffington
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:39:50
281 POINTS
jesus. I don't know who you dad is, but I really need to hang out with him.
u/xyzqfm
replying to u/luckyhunterdude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:39:50
298 POINTS
Watch out, he contracted syphilis from a Saigon whore, you don't want to mess around with him
u/MichaelDelta
replying to u/SirGanjaSpliffington
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:39:50
51 POINTS
FF/EMT here. Boomers love to go to the hospital. Car in the driveway? Ambulance. Toe ache? Ambulance. They are big old pussies.
u/MagicalMonarchOfMo
replying to u/ousteT
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:39:50
56 POINTS
Alternatively:
“Time for you to get a watch.”
Edit: Sorry everyone, my dad’s a baby boomer, and so, y’know...dad jokes.
Edit 2: If anybody is looking for another dad response to this question, there’s always “Turpentine, don’t that burn your ass.”
u/Voittaa
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
14898 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, directions to 5th and Montgomery."
"we don't need a map, I know where it is."
waits a minute
"...uh..."
u/SonOfSparda304
replying to u/Voittaa
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
2556 POINTS
Fuck this drives me crazy. I use Google maps damn near everywhere because it reroutes based on real time traffic...ride in the truck with my dad and he always takes his routes
u/MarchKick
replying to u/SonOfSparda304
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
1284 POINTS
We were in a whole different state and the person (boomer) driving wanted to go to a restaurant she had been to once two+ years ago and she insisted that my google maps and my friend's apple maps were wrong and continued getting us more lost. She kept saying "I remember it was near the library and then you have to turn onto the interstate"..
u/The97545
replying to u/MarchKick
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
773 POINTS
I just had a horrible thought. What if I become the oldman that's getting everybody lost with Google maps while my grandkids are insisting on using some new shit. "Come on grandad, the chiral network sayz you shoulda turn back there"
u/funbob1
replying to u/The97545
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
561 POINTS
Google will buy Chiral far before it becomes a worthy competitor, so don't worry zoomer.
u/pm_me_for_a_friend_
replying to u/funbob1
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
50 POINTS
I often wonder if google have developed an AI to see how much of a threat a new company is and whether they should buy it or not
u/n0remack
replying to u/SonOfSparda304
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
48 POINTS
When I got my drivers license, I was all "I'm not going to stick to the traditional routes, I know more than 1 way home"
...turns out the traditional routes were always the fastest...
Here and there though...I could take a back road home.
u/wildflower1756
replying to u/Voittaa
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
800 POINTS
Oh my god if I had a nickel for every time my grandma would flat REFUSE to give an address because "I know where it is. It had that tree in front that got struck by lightening in '92"
"Okay, so it's got a big dead tree in front?"
"Oh no, the storm knocked it down. It's where it WAS"
u/Norknerd
replying to u/wildflower1756
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
155 POINTS
I laughed way to hard at this! I used to be a courier running rural routes. Ended up in this podunk town trying to find a rural routes address. These are post office addresses, not street addresses, and the post office would NOT tell us where the house was located because we were the competition. I stopped at the only store/gas station in town ('town' was this store, a feed/hardware store, and a bar). Every one stops what they're doing and turns to look at me when I walk in. No shit. This town is nowhere near a highway, they don't get many out of town visitors. I ask where so and so at this address lives. The cashier stared at me for the longest time, then tells me to take the road west out of town for so many miles and take a right at the old Johnson barn, then down another mile on the left. I ask what color the barn is, she tells me the barn is gone, I'm supposed to take a right where the old Johnson barn USED to be. Bahahaha!
u/smileedude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
14237 POINTS
OK boomer, turn the thermostat to 23°C.
That function is locked to users.
u/AngryZen_Ingress
replying to u/smileedude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
4168 POINTS
23C? Is that C for Commie?!
u/Ajf45
replying to u/AngryZen_Ingress
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
1775 POINTS
[Fortunate Son Intensifies]
u/ethanthejibbles
replying to u/Ajf45
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
577 POINTS
SOME FOLKS ARE BORN MADE TO WAVE THE FLAG
u/MichaelBoltonIsMyDad
replying to u/ethanthejibbles
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
356 POINTS
OOOOH THE RED WHITE AND BLUUUE
u/real_hungarian
replying to u/MichaelBoltonIsMyDad
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
155 POINTS
AND WHEN THE BAND PLAYS "HAIL TO THE CHIEF"
u/lukeschaps
replying to u/real_hungarian
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
135 POINTS
OOH, THEY POINT THE CANNON AT YOU, LORD
u/dad_ahead
replying to u/lukeschaps
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
107 POINTS
IT AIN'T ME
u/canine_introvert
replying to u/dad_ahead
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
101 POINTS
IT AIN'T MEEEE
u/wallmic
replying to u/canine_introvert
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
73 POINTS
I AINT NO FORTUNATE SOOOON NO NO
u/isnialan
replying to u/canine_introvert
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
47 POINTS
I AIN'T NO SENATORS SON NO
u/mxracer18
replying to u/dad_ahead
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
48 POINTS
IT AIN'T ME, I AIN'T NO SENATORS SON NO
u/calhendy
replying to u/Ajf45
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
43 POINTS
I've never gotten the past couple decades of pairing Fortunate Son and patriotism. I've seen some hillbillies blast it like a rock national anthem...the lyrics are pretty fucking straightforward. Not sure what the disconnect is there.
u/iwasprobablyhighthen
replying to u/AngryZen_Ingress
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
480 POINTS
Damn right it does, we only use freedom units round here
u/Dugillion
replying to u/iwasprobablyhighthen
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
187 POINTS
Fuck'n A right, ya look at da moon and you see footprints, NOT METERPRINTS!
u/Eletrodhil
replying to u/AngryZen_Ingress
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
265 POINTS
Nope, it's C for competent
u/hatchetthehacker
replying to u/Eletrodhil
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
236 POINTS
Strong words for someone in ICBM range
u/NSA_Chatbot
replying to u/hatchetthehacker
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
107 POINTS
You probably fucked up the conversion and your missile will hit a grain silo in Tibet.
u/Wright606
replying to u/NSA_Chatbot
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
150 POINTS
You mean liberated a grain silo in Tibet.
u/aljabbarthestar
replying to u/smileedude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
217 POINTS
My American customary system brain can’t handle this
u/UltraChip
replying to u/aljabbarthestar
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
285 POINTS
It's 73.4° in Fahrenheit. I don't know why everyone is trying to guess or compare it to things instead of just doing the conversion lol.
u/smileedude
replying to u/aljabbarthestar
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
124 POINTS
I just learn afew points
Human body 37C 100F
Perfect Day 27C 80F
Need a jumper 16C 60F
Water freezes 0C 32F
So 23C is a bit closer to 80F than 60F so like 72F
u/Langviksmon
replying to u/smileedude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
335 POINTS
27°C a perfect day? That's your opinion.
u/HoaryPuffleg
replying to u/Langviksmon
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
261 POINTS
My perfect day? I'd have to say April 25th because it's not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.
u/hufflepuk
replying to u/HoaryPuffleg
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
42 POINTS
My sister is getting married April 25 and I’m just gonna spam Miss Congeniality memes in our family group chat the entire week leading up to it.
u/Zharken
replying to u/smileedude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
60 POINTS
Perfect day 27? Wtf? Perfect day is 20, where do you live? In mordor? Are you used to live under 40°C or something?
u/None
replying to u/smileedude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
46 POINTS
[deleted]
u/tarahdactyl_x
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
12399 POINTS
“OK Boo—“
“By your age I had a house, car, and 50k in savings. You need to stop asking for handouts”
u/wholebunchofbees
replying to u/tarahdactyl_x
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
3599 POINTS
My mom told me when I was 26, “I was married and had a house when I was your age.”
COOL MOM! HOW MUCH STUDENT LOAN DEBT DID YOU HAVE!?!???!!!
u/Tawny_Harpy
replying to u/wholebunchofbees
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
2219 POINTS
My dad knocked up my mom right before he deployed for his first year in the military.
Thus, they lived on base housing. No rent, utilities, etc. They basically paid for food and stuff to keep us kids entertained.
My mom worked, but that’s because my dad is very stingy with his money.
Her and my dad all the time: “Well when I was your age I had two kids, I lived out on my own, and I was paying for all of my own stuff!”
No student loan debt. No real bills. No heavy expenses. Of course, when I point this out to them, they tell me that I should have gone into the military.
I fucking hate the military.
Edit to add: Thats a lot of upvotes and I’m nervous y’all
Having said this, please be respectful to people who are actively serving or who have retired from serving our country! While they chose a life path I disagree with, they do not deserve hate. We’re all just good little beans trying to make it in this crazy world. Have a wonderful day, you beautiful creatures!
u/wholebunchofbees
replying to u/Tawny_Harpy
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
759 POINTS
How dare you choose a different life path for yourself. /s
What?!! You didn’t want to be cannon fodder for the military industrial complex?!!
u/kickstandheadass
replying to u/wholebunchofbees
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
158 POINTS
And not to be sexist, but did your Dad have a well paying job? Did she even have a job?
u/McCool303
replying to u/kickstandheadass
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
58 POINTS
I’m going to go with the cool mom great job fucking yourself into financial stability.
u/wholebunchofbees
replying to u/kickstandheadass
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
56 POINTS
Both had high paying jobs actually that they had in the 80s and through into the 90s. Jobs they stayed at for years and years. My mom was with the same company for 20 years and my dad just retired from his job that he was at for 44 years. They also own a lot of property, all rented out for extra income. It’s wild.
u/FlameSpartan
replying to u/wholebunchofbees
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
46 POINTS
And they fucking wonder why we can't buy houses for our damn selves. They're all being rented.
u/None
replying to u/tarahdactyl_x
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
74 POINTS
[deleted]
u/ani625
replying to u/tarahdactyl_x
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
47 POINTS
"Also, food isn't a right. Grow up."
u/JohnyWest86
replying to u/tarahdactyl_x
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
46 POINTS
"By at your age of 14 I was 25 and had a car, 3 jobs and 17 children"
u/ninaruminatti
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
12188 POINTS
"OK Boomer, what's the most effective birth control pill?"
"The most effective birth control pill is an aspirin between your knees."
[Actual quote from a friend's parent, I'll never forget it.]
u/sdrow_sdrawkcab
replying to u/ninaruminatti
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
4010 POINTS
I can totally get fucked and keep an aspirin between my knees
u/FaxCelestis
replying to u/sdrow_sdrawkcab
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
1181 POINTS
Boomers ain’t heard of doggy style?
u/Cynicaltaxiderm
replying to u/FaxCelestis
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
1109 POINTS
"Doggy-what?
You're supposed to be doing it face-to-face through a hole in the sheet!"
On side or legs in the air are also options too! Especially the former
u/immadee
replying to u/ninaruminatti
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
2025 POINTS
Oh I always heard it was a nickel between the knees.
...
I just realized I have neither aspirin nor nickels on hand. Well, guess I'm getting pregnant despite my tubal... Oopsie
u/GarnetsAndPearls
replying to u/immadee
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
198 POINTS
We were taught, it's a wedding band. eyeroll
u/mrquinn19
replying to u/ninaruminatti
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
88 POINTS
My mother has said this since I divorced my first husband.... everytime I introduced her to someone new.
u/None
replying to u/ninaruminatti
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
57 POINTS
Jokes on you retard us millenials are so lazy we fuck laying down in bed
u/EBandD123
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
9624 POINTS
"OK Boomer, take me to the nearest formal sit-down place"
"Ok snowflake, starting your route to Applebee's"
u/AnonymousCat21
replying to u/EBandD123
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
2451 POINTS
As an Applebee’s waitress, I appreciate this. Also 100% accurate.
Obligatory “thanks for the silver” edit! It’s my first so I’m super excited but also a lil disappointed that’s it’s on a comment about working at fucking Applebee’s.
u/aisle_8
replying to u/AnonymousCat21
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
752 POINTS
I cannot imagine the bullshit you must have to put up with on a daily basis. You're a fucking legend.
u/AnonymousCat21
replying to u/aisle_8
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
106 POINTS
Lol it’s really not much different than any other customer service job I’ve had but you can argue they’re all nightmares I guess. I live in a decently small town so most of our customers are locals who started eating here when it was the only sit down restaurant in town and know half the staff by name. I think that may attribute to them not being unbearable most of the time.
u/imagoodusername
replying to u/AnonymousCat21
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
64 POINTS
I can’t wrap my head around there being only one sit down restaurant in town and it being an Applebee’s
u/None
replying to u/AnonymousCat21
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
451 POINTS
[deleted]
u/AnonymousCat21
replying to u/None
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
606 POINTS
I mean a lot of stuff is microwaved but it’s mostly just sides like broccoli and mashed potatoes that are prepared in the morning and then heated up before posting when you order. If you order a steak or burger it’s going to be made to order.
u/PDXBlur
replying to u/AnonymousCat21
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
174 POINTS
I got ribs that were cold the other day :(
u/surfANDmusic
replying to u/PDXBlur
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
703 POINTS
Put a sweater on that'll warm your torso.
u/noized
replying to u/None
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
50 POINTS
Something tells me all of it, I mean, have you tried eating there? It's awful.
u/ronburgundi
replying to u/noized
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
88 POINTS
I broke up with a girl in part because Applebee's was legitimately her favorite restaurant.
u/Pardonme23
replying to u/ronburgundi
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
44 POINTS
Modern Seinfeld episode in the making. Sounds like Jerry move.
u/ElonMuskIs_God
replying to u/EBandD123
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
1009 POINTS
★
Survivor fans love that
u/jrbiff18
replying to u/ElonMuskIs_God
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
145 POINTS
"Karishma's favorite sitdown restaurant" is an awesome tagline for Applebee's.
u/TEFL_job_seeker
replying to u/ElonMuskIs_God
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
41 POINTS
May this meme never die
u/ostentia
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:04:18
8586 POINTS
"OK Boomer, what's the capital of Iraq?"
"Back in my day, we looked things up in an encyclopedia. Damn millennials, so obsessed with their phones."
u/ForgettableUsername
replying to u/ostentia
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:04:18
1682 POINTS
"Do you even know how to use a card catalog?"
u/therowdygent
replying to u/ForgettableUsername
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:04:18
951 POINTS
“Okay Boomer, what’s a card catalog?”
u/ForgettableUsername
replying to u/therowdygent
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:04:18
819 POINTS
You'd know if you'd ever been to the public library in 1974. They probably have some kind of twitter email thing now.
u/RolandDeshane
replying to u/ostentia
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:04:18
382 POINTS
"Why does it matter? Probably just a bunch of rubble at this point. They've been fighting for thousands of years, there's nothing that will stop them."
u/Pantelima
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:34
7203 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, what's on TV right now?"
"We only watch the news and Wheel of Fortune in this house."
u/MorganWick
replying to u/Pantelima
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:34
1254 POINTS
And only Fox qualifies as "the news".
u/TheReplacer
replying to u/MorganWick
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:34
187 POINTS
And this is why I hate Boomers. Fox news is comfort food for stupid people who just want to go back to the good old days where you could be racist.
u/agent-99
replying to u/TheReplacer
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:34
59 POINTS
it just makes them angry. comfort is not anger.
u/BassmanBiff
replying to u/agent-99
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:34
107 POINTS
In this case, I think it actually is. It's derisive anger at the rest of the world for being inferior. You get to be angry alongside an authoritative-looking person who tells you you're better than everyone else.
Fox works because it's comfortable to sit, do nothing, and shake your head about "people these days."
u/browner87
replying to u/Pantelima
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:34
726 POINTS
No Jeopardy? Shame.
u/FallopianUnibrow
replying to u/browner87
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:34
69 POINTS
Jeopardy is my Jam. I’ll win it one day, just you wait. No. You don’t understand, I don’t just answer the questions, I answer them in the proper format. Whenever I have guests over to watch with me, they sometimes answer quicker because they don’t use the format, but I score the points because I do use the format. Jeopardy is more than just a game, it’s my ticket out of Applebees. It’s so swamped here that I served a man cold ribs last week... I’m beyond whelmed, I’m overwhelmed. It’s okay, soon I’ll have my shot in sunny Los Angeles with Alex Trebek himself, he’ll see the spark in my soul. He’ll see the fire in my guts and the blood in my eyes, I’ve been training my clicking thumb you know. My response times are improving, down to .23 seconds on average. Every night after my shift, I hit Wikipedia. It’s the most efficient means of acquiring knowledge, and Knowledge I do have. This year will be mine, this is my year. Jeopardy will never have seen a winner like me before, this is my calling and my destiny.
u/_fetaljuice
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:22:42
7166 POINTS
"Ok boomer, tell me a joke"
"You snowflakes get offended over eveything. You can't even take a joke"
"Ok boomer"
"What did you say you little shit?"
u/Bruhbruhbruhistaken
replying to u/_fetaljuice
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:22:42
983 POINTS
"Initiating boomer protocol"
"What?!"
"Remember No human"
u/Little-Jim
replying to u/Bruhbruhbruhistaken
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:22:42
239 POINTS
Ok Boomer, execute Order 66
u/FPSXpert
replying to u/_fetaljuice
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:22:42
620 POINTS
Either that or "OK Boomer, tell me a joke"
proceeds to tell a racist joke that's not very funny
u/bad_news_everybody
replying to u/FPSXpert
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:22:42
432 POINTS
Watching a video clip about Mae Jemison, a black/asian astronaut who served as a Mission Specialist on Endeavor.
Boomer: "Well obviously they don't let her drive the Shuttle. She wouldn't know if she should steal it or crash it."
Who loves going home for the holidays?
u/PupperLoverDude
replying to u/bad_news_everybody
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:22:42
100 POINTS
ugh my dad is gen x and does this shit. like yeah, dad, it is racist that literally every time you see a person who isn't white you make stereotype-based jokes. even if it wasn't it's just annoying that we can't talk about or even pass on the street anyone who isn't white without some racist joke followed by a shit-eating grin and an "ohh you get offended by everything" yet if i make one white people joke it's all "hey, you can't make blanket statements like that!"
so, anyway, yeah the holidays are soo fun.
u/PlayMp1
replying to u/bad_news_everybody
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:22:42
74 POINTS
"She's a doctor and a NASA-qualified engineer, Jim."
u/Claim_to_Lame
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:52
6017 POINTS
Ok Boomer; what restaurants serve brunch near me?
"Have you tried not being gay?"
u/unnaturalorder
replying to u/Claim_to_Lame
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:52
1336 POINTS
"I tried, but this brunch thing makes it really hard to straighten out"
u/DillPixels
replying to u/Claim_to_Lame
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:52
152 POINTS
Would this device be voiced by Pierce Hawthorne? I definitely read it in his voice lol.
u/ChefNicholas
replying to u/Claim_to_Lame
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:52
124 POINTS
I enjoy this one.
u/WentzToDJax
replying to u/Claim_to_Lame
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:52
46 POINTS
Wait, is brunch a stereotypical thing for gays? I've never heard this.
I have tried to go to the wrong restsurant at 11:00 on a Sunday, and the place was filled with Boomers and floral dresses fresh out of church.
u/beatboxingfox
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:03:13
4801 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, where's the nearest recycling center."
"We have trash cans."
u/kiwikoopa
replying to u/beatboxingfox
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:03:13
205 POINTS
"Just throw it out the car window. The chain gang'll pick it up."
u/asphaltdragon
replying to u/kiwikoopa
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:03:13
60 POINTS
...holy shit that's terrible
u/Zayvarian
replying to u/beatboxingfox
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:03:13
77 POINTS
Uh this is so true. Recently a boomer said to me "I'm happy to keep burrying rubbish mate".
u/MagicalMonarchOfMo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:15
4069 POINTS
“OK Boomer, where’s the nearest car mechanic?”
“What, you can’t fix your car yourself? Kids these days.”
“...Boomer, my engine literally just exploded...”
“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Try not mumbling. E-nun-ci-ate, your, words.”
“Erm, right. OK Boomer, what’s the number for my insurance company?”
“You don’t have it memorized?! Sad. Where would you be without your smartphones and iTablet thingies?”
“...you know what, never mind, I’ll just walk. Thanks, Boomer.”
“Walking, finally, a good idea. Exercise. You’re all so chubby. Don’t eat right with all that Chipotle Bell stuff. And it’s thank you, not ‘thanks.’ And my response is ‘you’re welcome,’ not that ridiculous ‘no problem’ you all do.”
“.....OK Boomer, please stop now.”
“Don’t you tell me to be quiet! Have some respect for your elders! When I was your age I owned a house!”
u/HiddenLayer5
replying to u/MagicalMonarchOfMo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:15
1176 POINTS
“OK Boomer, call an ambulance!”
"Oh don't be so entitled. You can walk to the hospital yourself!"
"My legs have been torn off!!"
"Have you tried not tearing your legs off?"
u/CuntCommittee
replying to u/MagicalMonarchOfMo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:15
224 POINTS
I know a lot of people that are in a loop of “this generation is so entitled” and “I demand respect for being older than you”
u/LucasLeArtist
replying to u/MagicalMonarchOfMo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:15
65 POINTS
“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Try not mumbling. E-nun-ci-ate, your, words.”
God I hate this one so much. I'm a pretty quiet person and I hear it every now and then.
u/halcyon_rawr
replying to u/LucasLeArtist
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:15
45 POINTS
Ugh. I hate it when older people tell me I speak too quietly. I'll speak up, obviously, but when it gets to the point that it's literally hurting my throat to speak loud enough for them to hear, that's not me being too quiet, that's them refusing to acknowledge their own hearing loss, and then taking out their frustration on someone who cannot refuse to interact with them.
Had a lady at work last week harass a fellow coworker for this. Even after she heard her, she would not stop tearing into this literal teenager over her volume. I heard her, and I was twice as far away. The lady's husband, about the same age as her, and as far from my coworker as me, heard my coworker, and kept trying to make his rude wife shut up. I felt bad for the husband, he looked so embarrassed that his wife was harassing this child.
Best part was when the lady noticed that one of her pennies was 'rare', spouting off how she was going to sell it and be rich, as if we all should feel bad now for telling her to leave the teenager alone, based on her potential fortune.
It was a shield penny from 2015, and wasn't abnormal at all. I enjoyed showing her more shield pennies from the drawer, while she watched with a permanent glare, and a fading light in her eyes. Harass my precious teenaged coworkers and I will crush your dreams.
u/Commander_Shepard_
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
3851 POINTS
"OK Boomer, open Indeed!"
"You don't need Indeed! Just walk on in and give a firm handshake you entitled brat. And while you're at it, you can send out resumes in the mail. I bet you don't even know what stamps are you avocado-toast-eating millennial!"
u/OnCommence17
replying to u/Commander_Shepard_
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
951 POINTS
You keep bitching about not being able to find a job, but I don't see you out there pounding the pavement and knocking on doors.
u/Doublestack2376
replying to u/OnCommence17
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
522 POINTS
I honestly wish this was more like it used to be. I applied for dozens of jobs, and the only thing I got contacted on were the places that are really shit jobs with high turnover and the 2 places I knew people.
u/LockeLamoraLies
replying to u/Doublestack2376
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
460 POINTS
I have a fucking masters degree and I can't find a fucking job. I wish I could just go into the office and hand in my resume.
u/Doublestack2376
replying to u/LockeLamoraLies
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
544 POINTS
And to top it all off, in my first interview the HR guy tried asking me technical questions and said that if it weren't for my friend's recommendation he wouldn't have passed me to the next round of interviews.
The reason he thought I didn't know enough for the job is because he didn't have a clue about what he was asking. I was trying to be polite and give him the benefit of the doubt that maybe he knew more than I did, but no, he was just an idiot with my future in his hands. My buddy was PISSED and reamed him out for asking things he doesn't know the answer to.
Seriously good luck, it's shitty out there.
u/Sparkism
replying to u/Doublestack2376
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
514 POINTS
I had a phone interview today and the guy asked me how can you tell an email is not legit or contains a virus.
And I said, well, for the average user, you can't. Most people would look at an email address and assume that's where it's coming from because while spoofing emails isn't that common, if someone's spear phishing, they can make it look convincing.
And he said, no, I'm asking how YOU tell if an email isn't legit or has a virus. What steps would you take to determine if an email is safe.
And I said, if I had to dig further to find out whether an email is legit, I would have to look at the email header and determine whether the information there matches with the domain DNS. Maybe there's a dkim key. Maybe the mx record points to one server and the email was received from another. There are many other factors we can use, for example call the sender on your phone and see if they sent you something if it doesn't sound like an email they normally send you.
And then he said, no, that's not what we're looking for. Why didn't you just do a virus scan on the computer? That tells you right away if there's a virus.
I'm at a total loss of words. I forgot that not opening email attachments from suspicious sources isn't the default thing that people do.
u/frickineh
replying to u/Sparkism
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
331 POINTS
Oh. Oh jesus. I don't even know that guy and I actively dislike him. WhY dOn'T yOu JuSt Do A vIrUs ScAn. People like him are the reason we have to take annual cyber security training at work.
u/Sparkism
replying to u/frickineh
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
129 POINTS
WhY dOn'T yOu JuSt Do A vIrUs ScAn
Ha, how about we educate our employees and don't let it get to a point where we use the virus scan as a clutch
u/blackhat8287
replying to u/Commander_Shepard_
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
205 POINTS
“Don’t forget to maintain eye contact and good posture.”
u/punkterminator
replying to u/Commander_Shepard_
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
161 POINTS
The Immigrant Boomer Edition rants about how back in their day, people wouldn't even look at their resume because they're brown and have an ethnic name and that you should be grateful that there's apparently no more hiring discrimination. Maybe that rant will extend to how you should be grateful that you don't need to worry about racist landlords anymore, or that you don't get beaten up for you race or religion. The rant ends with them telling you that you need to get a good job because they did not cross an ocean for you to be a freeloader.
u/gaberoman
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:42
2349 POINTS
Ok boomer, the job market is so competitive. How can I get a job?
Ya just need gumption! (Proceeds to talk about how they got a job from just walking in and demanding it)
u/Pyrrhape
replying to u/gaberoman
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:42
936 POINTS
Instructions unclear, police had to drag me out of the reception area.
u/typeyhands
replying to u/Pyrrhape
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:42
393 POINTS
Instructions unclear, bootstraps pulled all the way up to ears.
u/MissSangwitch
replying to u/gaberoman
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:42
449 POINTS
Step 1: Firmly grasp bootstraps.
Step 2: Pull.
u/pm_me_your_molars
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:31
2232 POINTS
You: "OK Boomer, what are the local showtimes for Avengers?"
Digital Assistant: "I can't figure me out, you have to show me how to work myself, why am I so slow?"
You: "Goddamnit stop running all those malware programs."
u/smileedude
replying to u/pm_me_your_molars
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:31
892 POINTS
Digital Assistant: "Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
u/pm_me_your_molars
replying to u/smileedude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:31
730 POINTS
"OK Boomer, is there Thai food near me?"
"THIS WOMAN LOST 50 POUNDS FOLLOWING THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK! DOCTORS HATE HER!"
u/I_GO_BOOM_BOOM
replying to u/smileedude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:31
44 POINTS
well of course I would, he's me
u/Wjreky
replying to u/pm_me_your_molars
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:31
158 POINTS
"why do I have all of these toolbars?"
u/Hq3473
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:17:47
1561 POINTS
"OK boomer, volume up"
"What, you wanna become deaf?"
u/ForgettableUsername
replying to u/Hq3473
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:17:47
97 POINTS
Don't sit so close to the tv, it will ruin your eyesight.
u/LiterallyMechanical
replying to u/Hq3473
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:17:47
52 POINTS
For real though, I had a professor who was a bit hard of hearing and would sometimes have to ask students to speak up when asking questions. She says that she didn't actually lose her hearing, because she knows exactly where she left it -- on the dance floor of her favorite nightclub in Manhattan.
u/nagynorbie
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:01
1537 POINTS
Ok Boomer, can you please auto-fill my credit card details on this site ?
What, you want to give your details to a stranger ? Are you nuts ? Just go drive a half an hour to the store and buy it in person, it's safer that way.
u/AngryZen_Ingress
replying to u/nagynorbie
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:01
1219 POINTS
Proceeds to download malware that gives all bank info to Eastern Europe hackers.
u/AngelFears1676
replying to u/AngryZen_Ingress
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:01
126 POINTS
Or give their info to the "nice Saudi prince who wants to give me an inheritance "
u/anyahwtf
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
1526 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, set my alarm for 9:00 AM tomorrow."
"9:00? Are you sure? I see in your calendar that your flight boards at 10:30 and taking into account how it takes 30 minutes to get to the airport, that only leaves you with 1 hour to make it to your gate in time. Why don't I set your alarm for 5:00 AM instead? Or maybe 6:00, if you really want to sleep in?"
u/doubleenginefailure
replying to u/anyahwtf
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
622 POINTS
Hey, thats no boomer! That's me, an older millenial! Unless... deep down.....
Oh no.
u/qvaken
replying to u/doubleenginefailure
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
398 POINTS
Don't worry, I'm also an older millennial and I thought, "Boomer's got a point there..."
u/Thanatosst
replying to u/qvaken
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
55 POINTS
What's better: freaking out about missing your flight due to traffic, long security lines, undermanned check-in counters, etc. and barely squeezing onto the plane as they're about to close the doors
Or
Getting day drunk stress free for an hour and a half before your flight starts boarding
u/Voittaa
replying to u/anyahwtf
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
423 POINTS
"I'll give you a ride earlier, traffic on 294 is a nightmare, they still have all that construction. how many years has it been? I took your sister last week and we spent 20 minutes in a dead stop. damn semis everywhere too you really oughta be careful. and security at the airport is gonna be hell this time of year, best leave 8 hours early."
u/None
replying to u/Voittaa
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
206 POINTS
[deleted]
u/ForgettableUsername
replying to u/None
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
119 POINTS
"These Wifi printers aren't reliable, you should just buy the ticket from a travel agent. I'll give you a phone number to call and you can fax her the details."
u/Raab2908
replying to u/anyahwtf
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
82 POINTS
Actually, this one doesn't sound that bad
u/darkslide3000
replying to u/Raab2908
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
69 POINTS
Yeah, if you get up (not even leave the house) at 9am for a 10:30 flight, you're basically begging for a bad surprise.
u/slayalldayyyy
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:53
1479 POINTS
“Ok Boomer, what should I wear today” THE WHITE NEW BALANCES! ALWAYS THE WHITE NEW BALANCES!
u/SquiffyRae
replying to u/slayalldayyyy
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:53
193 POINTS
It's either the white new balances or the classic Dunlop KT-26
u/slayalldayyyy
replying to u/SquiffyRae
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:53
212 POINTS
I’ve never seen this shoe. I sort of like it. Oh god am I pre-boomopausal???
u/SquiffyRae
replying to u/slayalldayyyy
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:53
88 POINTS
These things are like the old man shoe of choice in Australia. Dunno how popular they are in other countries
u/donteatmee3333
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:50:32
1025 POINTS
Ok Boomer: remind me to take my medication
You don’t need that stuff! Just snap out of it!
u/surf_da_web29
replying to u/donteatmee3333
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:50:32
87 POINTS
having a seizure? just get off the floor ya idiot!
u/metaknight95
replying to u/surf_da_web29
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:50:32
53 POINTS
This is absolutely hilarious. I can picture some kid having a seizure as a boomer reprimands him for it
"Damn kids this is what happens when you play those video games and download all those viruses from AOL"
u/TheFlemishBlemish
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:59:03
972 POINTS
"Figure it out for yourself" and "Do it yourself"
would be the only lines of dialogue on the chip.
u/DeathSpiral321
replying to u/TheFlemishBlemish
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:59:03
220 POINTS
"Read a book about it"
u/Bionicjoker
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:28:50
887 POINTS
“Ok Boomer, do I need to go to college?”
“Hell no, just get a job at a factory and buy a house right out of high school!”
u/AreWeCowabunga
replying to u/Bionicjoker
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:28:50
1022 POINTS
I don't think that's the real ok, boomer answer to that question. Their answer would be more like:
"You need to go to college. It doesn't matter how much it costs, just get loans."
Then:
"Ok, boomer, I've got my degree and so much debt I can barely afford to survive. What do I do now?"
"You shouldn't have taken on so much debt for a useless degree."
u/Allthemedals
replying to u/AreWeCowabunga
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:28:50
255 POINTS
I feel attacked.
u/ooo-ooo-oooyea
replying to u/AreWeCowabunga
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:28:50
197 POINTS
my parents are older boomers, and they still have the belief that people will give you money just for having a degree
u/Allthemedals
replying to u/ooo-ooo-oooyea
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:28:50
176 POINTS
Did you try a good work ethic and a positive mental attitude? You basically can cover a mortgage payment on those two things alone.
u/Shpookie_Angel
replying to u/Bionicjoker
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:28:50
48 POINTS
Couldn't you have inherited something good from me? I am so disappointed in your generation. Lazy.
u/Laymans_Terms19
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:20
776 POINTS
“OK Boomer, open my mail messages”
“I’m sorry, there’s no mail delivery on Sundays.”
u/AnOnlineHandle
replying to u/Laymans_Terms19
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:20
156 POINTS
I’m sorry
That part is very uncharacteristic of boomers.
u/Subtitles_Required
replying to u/Laymans_Terms19
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:20
49 POINTS
No post on Sundays
u/Ricky_RZ
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:51
694 POINTS
"OK Boomer, tell me about how life was so easy in your time"
"I had a part time job moving boxes and I could support a stay at home wife, 3 kids, 2 dogs, a cat, a car, and what is basically a mansion in today's world. I don't get why you always complain that life is so hard"
u/doireallywannadothis
replying to u/Ricky_RZ
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:51
66 POINTS
basically a mansion
Nah, houses used to be way smaller. That's actually one of the reasons houses are so hard to afford now, they make them so much bigger and more luxurious.
u/Whenitrainsitpours86
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:55
617 POINTS
"OK Boomer, show me job application links"
"Here are the addresses of nearby offices with job listings. Their office hours are 9-5, so show up at 8:30 and expect an interview."
u/moronicuniform
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:50:00
568 POINTS
"OK Boomer, how do I fix my crushing debt"
"ORDERING. ONE PAIR. BOOTSTRAPS."
u/YeetVegetabales
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:51:34
556 POINTS
How do I get rid of student loans?
Work hard, stop being lazy and useless all the time. I used to work 40 hours a day in the fields
"Did you try working a part time summer job for like 1 summer instead of eating avocado toast every night???"
u/losersftw
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:18:52
489 POINTS
“Ok Boomer, which radio station should I listen to?”
“Doesn’t matter, music nowadays is all trash”
u/bigsalad98
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:47:22
406 POINTS
"Ok boomer, how should I ask her out?"
Boomer: "Back in my day, we didn't ask"
u/i_fuckin_luv_it_mate
replying to u/bigsalad98
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:47:22
166 POINTS
"okay cosby, please shut down for 3 to 10 years. You're going back in the box"
u/popeye_talks
replying to u/bigsalad98
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:47:22
49 POINTS
Cursed Comment
u/bearofcholes
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:37:28
395 POINTS
"how can I afford college?"
"Get a higher paying job"
"How can I get a raise?"
"Get a degree"
u/HiddenLayer5
replying to u/bearofcholes
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:37:28
70 POINTS
"Have you tried not being poor?"
u/Roc_City
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:20:54
305 POINTS
"Ok boomer, where is the nearest park"
"When I was your age me and your grandmother would walk to Wilson park and have malts"
u/Meetybeefy
replying to u/Roc_City
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:20:54
146 POINTS
That sounds more like a Silent Generation response.
u/1of9Heathens
replying to u/Meetybeefy
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:20:54
75 POINTS
And cuter than 99% of these
u/windwaker3656
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:04:13
276 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, h-"
"IT'S PAST 9 PM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING AWAKE? THIS GENERATION CAN'T GO A MINUTE WITHOUT USING THEIR DAMN PHONES."
u/trixabellian_Quartz
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:18:20
267 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, what does [insert word] mean?"
"Oh my god get a dictionary and get off your phone. Go into the real world and maybe get a job. God, this generation is doomed."
(Probably longer but I'm too lazy to type)
u/MorganWick
replying to u/trixabellian_Quartz
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:18:20
336 POINTS
Lazy millennials can't even be bothered to finish their jokes.
u/Weeabootrash7
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:29:33
252 POINTS
Go in and ask for an application in person. Employers like people that take the initiative to get in there and ask.
u/MechanicalHorse
replying to u/Weeabootrash7
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:29:33
123 POINTS
Just walk in, ask to speak to the guy in charge, then give him a firm handshake while you look him straight in the eye and tell him you want the job.
u/metaknight95
replying to u/MechanicalHorse
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:29:33
111 POINTS
My dad made me do this shit as a teenager, and it was absolutely awful.
"Hi I would really appreciate this job"
"I have nothing to do with the hiring process and the application is filled out online"
Walk back out to the car
"He said the applications are all online, like I told you"
"Online? You can't trust anything online these days with all that malvirus stuff. I knew this was a shady company"
u/motherofpudding
replying to u/metaknight95
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:29:33
77 POINTS
Same here.. went through the mortifying process of walking from one rejection into the next in my local mall because my parents decided that I should be self-sufficient when I turned 14.
All I heard was “go online” and “you’re too young anyway”. My parents were so surprised that people wouldn’t take a 14 year old handing resumes out in person because ~they~ got work like that in the 60s.
It was soul crushing.
u/vboak
replying to u/Weeabootrash7
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:29:33
101 POINTS
You got to Pound. That. Pavement. Just like they did in 1977.
u/IDontGetItexe
replying to u/Weeabootrash7
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:29:33
52 POINTS
If I worked in HQ I would kick you out the minute you storm into my office demanding a job while disrespecting the manner all other candidates apply for the job by
u/LonelyPauper
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:00:41
247 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, start my PC."
Boomer: "I told you I'm not a computer person! You're not helping me so I'm hanging up now. Goodbye!"
u/escalation
replying to u/LonelyPauper
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:00:41
48 POINTS
"Ok. I pushed the round thingy. Would you like me to automatically click yes on all the little boxes that are popping up on the screen? Isn't BonziBuddy cute? I just love purple Gorillas"
u/FalafelsOnWaffles
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:47:54
221 POINTS
Turns on phone
"On your phone? Again? Kids these days, always got their eyes glued to a screen."
u/gaff2049
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:47:26
219 POINTS
How do yo retire comfortably boomer?
You graduate high school, get a job with a large company, buy a house by 25, work for 45 years, get retirement with a paid off house.
u/DirtyPrancin
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:10:34
177 POINTS
"Ok Boomer. Which candidate should I vote for?"
"Searching for sexual criminals in your county."
u/pol_pots
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:18:07
165 POINTS
OK Boomer, what’s the news today?
“I saw on Facebook that the liberals are....”
u/DeathSpiral321
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:13
156 POINTS
"OK Boomer, give me a recipe for apple pie"
"Get in your car, drive 4 blocks down main street until you arrive at the library. Ask the librarian for a recipe book."
u/Ayayaya3
replying to u/DeathSpiral321
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:13
107 POINTS
Wait don’t boomers and older all have like little box of index cards with recipes on them
u/TimeWarpCat
replying to u/Ayayaya3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:13
77 POINTS
Like hell youre going to get my secret recipes!
u/IAmTrashAtNames
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:44:25
160 POINTS
This is a god tier question, I’m really hoping it’s not a repost.
u/Pegg_Legg
replying to u/IAmTrashAtNames
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:44:25
119 POINTS
The idea is directly taken from a Jacksfilms video .
u/SeverelyModerate
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:17:59
147 POINTS
This - somehow - set off my actually “OK Google” at home??
u/_fresh_basil_
replying to u/SeverelyModerate
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:17:59
56 POINTS
Came here to see if it was happening for anyone else. Lol
u/cricketjacked
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:37:18
142 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, what restaurants are around me?"
"THERE IS AN OLIVE GARDEN AND AN APPLEBEE'S 5 MILES AWAy FrOM WheReE YOU ARE NOW PERIOD NO STOP DON'T TYPE THAT YOU STUPID PHONE. THAT OLIVE GARDEN SAYS THAT IT OFFERS UNLIMITED BREADSTICKS BUT THEY CUT ME OFF AFTER SIX BOWLS AND TOLD ME THAT I HAD TO chooSE SOMETHING FROM THe MENu. THE WAITER WASN'T FILLING OUR DRINKS FAST ENOUGH EITHER, SO I SNAPPED MY FINGERS AT HIM TO GET HIS ATTENTION. HE DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE. THERE GOES HIS TIP!!! ANYWAY, I HOPE YOU ARE DOING ALRIGHT. YOUR UNCLE IS IN THE HOSPITAL AGAIN. THEY SAY HE's NOT LOOKING TOO GOOD. YOU SHOULD VISIT HIM. IT MIGHT BE THE LAST TIME YOU SEE HIM BEFORE HE DIES PERIOD NO TYPE A PERIOD AND SEND--"
u/grab_ur_rape_whistle
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:26:37
129 POINTS
“Quit being a bitch and work harder, no one is going to give you shit.”
works for all questions with ok boomer
u/TheColdThought
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:37:57
113 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, when is International Women's Day?"
"What about International Men's Day? When's that eh?"
u/BigCockMcGee12
replying to u/TheColdThought
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:37:57
54 POINTS
November 19th, in case anybody's wondering.
u/Rabidleopard
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:29:29
100 POINTS
Ok boomer, take me to this address in the Loop.
You don't want to go there it's a bad neighbor you'll get shoy.
u/MrMager
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 05:53:59
96 POINTS
OK Boomer, wake me up at 6:00
wakes you up at 5:00
“Get up, its 6:00!!!”
u/mycological-amatoxin
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:41:54
96 POINTS
"OK Boomer, how do I apply for a job?"
"You walk into the place you want to work at with your resume printed out, ask for an application. Then you sit down, fill it out, and hand it in!
Then you ask to speak to their boss so you can shake their hand."
u/ThisisSeen
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:44:55
97 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, why are you racist"
"I'm not racist, I have a black friend"
u/Meetybeefy
replying to u/ThisisSeen
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:44:55
40 POINTS
"BLM are the racists and racism was started under Obama"
u/FreeSkeptic
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 05:13:26
87 POINTS
“Ok Boomer, what’s the weather like today?”
“It’s very chilly today. That means climate change is a hoax.”
u/OneSalientOversight
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:26
79 POINTS
"OK Boomer, where's the nearest club?"
"There's no way you're going out looking like that"
u/Kyhunsheo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 05:02:22
64 POINTS
"Okay, Boomer. Please help me find the closest oil change service"
"You seriously are going to pay for an oil change? Did your dad not teach you to be a man? Anyways, what you want to do is go to the nearest local Auto Parts store. You need to figure out what oil you need in the manual that's in your glove box. Generally, 5W-30 is a safe bet. Now you wanna find a good filter. Don't ask the clerk, just use the book that's by the filters and find what you need. Anyways, just take it back to the garage and change it yourself. There, I saved you $30 from that overpriced service."
u/ronburgundi
replying to u/Kyhunsheo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 05:02:22
51 POINTS
Gonna stop ya right there chief, any boomer worth their salt would recommend you run 20W50 conventional oil and a shitty orange Fram filter no matter what type of car it is.
u/TeboeCubes
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:53:43
66 POINTS
“Ok Boomer, how do I get to Starbucks?”
“What, to get one of your vegan organic caramel vanilla millennial frappuccinos?”
“Just tell me how to get there”
“Just use a roadmap like everyone else”
(mumbling under breath) “Yeah, like everyone else over 60”
”What was that?”
“I said... Ok boomer, call Starbucks”
“Why? Don’t know how to use a phone book?”
“Why would I need to know that when I have a digital assistant?”
”Ugh, you millennials think your so entitled to ‘digital assistants’”
u/Jervillian_Swike
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:33
67 POINTS
OK Boomer, what's the recipe for vegan paleo power-boost pancakes with chia- and flax-seed, and beetroot dressing?
"Who's Jessica? Do you have a girlfriend I don't know about?"
"It's not like that and it would be super weird if--"
"In my day I'd squeeze her fanny to show I'm interested."
"That's incredibly inappropriate. Can you just--?"
"Call history shows you haven't called your grandma in a while."
"Yeah, but she just drones on for h--"
"Calling grandma..."
u/Magnum3k
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:06:53
54 POINTS
Ok boomer, how are the 49ers doing?
Not sure but Joe Montana is 10x better than Tom Brady
u/YoderMcLongDong
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 05:19:52
54 POINTS
Me: "Ok Boomer, directions to disneyland."
Phone: "GPS? Ok is that the one with a G on it?"
Me: "No that's google. It's the one that says maps."
Phone: "Hold on let me put my glasses on. Why do they have to put it in such tiny letters? I'm just gonna turn the music down so I can see. Ah here it is. Now where did you want to go? Disneyland? Is that the one in Florida or California? You know when I was a kid me and my entire family went to Disney out in California and...(continues on anecdote)"
Me: "Fuck it I'll do it myself!"
u/slayalldayyyy
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:59:20
54 POINTS
“Ok Boomer, play music.” STEELY DAN INTENSIFIES
u/Allthemedals
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:19:23
59 POINTS
“Ok Boomer play Despacito”
Phone dials INS
u/DoctarSwag
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:49:09
51 POINTS
This just made me realize I can change the ok Google keyword on my phone to ok boomer.
u/_-Tsunami-_
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 05:40:49
46 POINTS
"Okay Boomer, how will the world end?"
"You millenials fucked it up, you guys are the reason we're gonna die! And don't try arguing with me! Your guys's generation can't even decide if its a boy or girl!"
u/Angelusthegreat
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:29
50 POINTS
Back in my day...
u/927comewhatmay
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:21:42
43 POINTS
Being late Gen X, I’ve seen all this before back when the boomers said it to the Greatest Generation, and when Gen X said it to Boomers.
I hope I don’t die young. I want to see all the Millennials sellout and get picked on for being crabby old doofuses by Generation Whatever.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
u/mpizzle3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
47515 POINTS
★★
"Ok Boomer, where is the nearest gas station?"
"Okay so you're going to want to drive past that building that used to be the old dentist office. Take a right at the large yellow house. Keep going until you see that sign for the restaurant we went to last year and then take a left. If you've reached the place where Time Hortons used to be, then you've gone too far"
u/Timbukthree
replying to u/mpizzle3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
8721 POINTS
This is so painfully true. I ask for the name and general vacinity of a place just to look it up on Google Maps, and instead get a 10 minute explanation from 3 different people about how to get to someplace that's easily accessible and 10 minutes away.
u/Doctor-Pigg
replying to u/Timbukthree
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
3034 POINTS
All the explanations are different too, you end up making the people trying to explain to you where to go usually end up arguing
u/yaosio
replying to u/Doctor-Pigg
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
1243 POINTS
You made me remember stories people have told about the Indian address system. Apparently it's so bad one company has used machine learning to figure out correct addresses. https://medium.com/@kabirrustogi/learning-to-decode-unstructured-indian-addresses-c80ffcda2e84
u/dusmeyedin
replying to u/yaosio
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
1375 POINTS
In one Indian megalopolis (I think it was Mumbai) there's a food delivery company that hires
illiteratedelivery staff that is not guaranteed to be literate, so they've developed their ownlittle pidginimprovised script which is not meant in a condescending or colonialist way to denigrate people of South Asian extraction to direct each driver which gigantic building to go to and which parcels of food to drop off.Apparently it's legendary for its effectiveness. So much so that western researchers have started studying it to see how it's significant in learning and language formation although I don't have a source for this part and apologize if you have incurred any economic burden due to overreliance on this statement.
The service not only delivers take out food, but more challenging still, it delivers parcels from an office worker's family (usually his wife) to his office place so he has something to eat for lunch.
Edited due to copious user feedback. I'm now deactivating inbox notifications for this comment - the true sign that a comment has really made it in reddit's user consciousness.
u/arjunusmaximus
replying to u/dusmeyedin
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
930 POINTS
You're talking about the Mumbai Dabbawalas. They're not illiterate, but they DO have their own system of delivering the 'dabbas' - the tiffin boxes from homes to offices and this system is SO effective that they have a 99.96% effectiveness.
"The dabbawalas constitute a lunchbox delivery and return system that delivers hot lunches from homes and restaurants to people at work in India, especially in Mumbai. The lunchboxes are picked up in the late morning, delivered predominantly using bicycles and railway trains, and returned empty in the afternoon."
Lunch boxes are marked in several ways:
A colour-coding system identifies the destination and recipient.
u/re_nonsequiturs
replying to u/dusmeyedin
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
150 POINTS
I saw a show once that described a service where people left their lunch in their fridge and the delivery service got it and heated it up and brought it to them at work
u/AnmlBri
replying to u/re_nonsequiturs
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
58 POINTS
I don’t understand the point of that. Why not just bring it to work with you and heat it up there? Or am I missing something?
u/smearley11
replying to u/AnmlBri
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
82 POINTS
What I saw the first time I read about the service is that the wife will stay home and cook the lunch that morning, then someone will come by and pick it up and deliver it. And construction workers/laborers don't always have access to storage or heating utilities on job site
u/Mirtosky
replying to u/yaosio
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
232 POINTS
I delivered to a nearby reservation frequently and boy my Google maps is full of pins for individual houses out there, because otherwise you would have not a single indication as to where to go
EDIT: Oops :/
u/DC-3
replying to u/Mirtosky
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
185 POINTS
Different Indian.
u/Acidwits
replying to u/DC-3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
75 POINTS
This is the feather/dot conversation isn't it.
u/ScourgeofWorlds
replying to u/Timbukthree
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
1285 POINTS
I'm visiting home for Thanksgiving and my mom sent me instructions to somewhere like that. I asked my dad and he sent me a screenshot of the location on Maps with a pin dropped. All I wanted was the name of the damn place...
u/BitterFaithlessness
replying to u/ScourgeofWorlds
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
603 POINTS
Lmao the screenshot. How on earth could he think that would help you? Ah, parents.
u/BigCockMcGee12
replying to u/BitterFaithlessness
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
410 POINTS
Depends on how zoomed in it was. If I recognized a place on the map and knew how to get there, it could be really helpful.
u/PandasInternational
replying to u/BigCockMcGee12
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
55 POINTS
Wouldn't be as helpful as dropping the pin and then pressing the share button to send the actual pin location, though
u/Skrappyross
replying to u/PandasInternational
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
65 POINTS
Sharing an actual pin is way better than sharing a screenshot of a pin, but the screenshot is still better than a long winded explanation of landmarks along the way.
u/kukiric
replying to u/Timbukthree
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
386 POINTS
On the flip side, there's the times when someone asks you how to get somewhere, and you give them an exact address and tell them to input it into Google Maps, and they reply with something like "google what?"
In hindsight, maybe that's why they're asking for directions. That or they're out of battery or cell service.
u/Bbradley821
replying to u/kukiric
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
292 POINTS
Tell them to MapQuest it.
u/None
replying to u/Bbradley821
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
73 POINTS
[deleted]
u/Bbradley821
replying to u/None
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
143 POINTS
Just don't forget to print it out before you leave.
u/TheEnKrypt
replying to u/Timbukthree
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
363 POINTS
If someone asks me for a place, the way I do it is to just tell them the name along with approx time, distance and direction.
"Where's the closest hospital?"
"There's a St Thomas Hospital roughly five minutes away. It's around 1km East from here."
Now pick any road that goes roughly East and after five minutes you should be close enough that you can ask someone else for exactly where it is.
Or you can fuck all that and use what I said to look it up on Google Maps and verify that it's the right place with the rest of what I said. Win-win. You should be good whether or not you use your phone to navigate.
Fuck people who tell you to take the third left after a brothel and then the eighth right after Narnia.
Edit: There appears to be some confusion here. When I say East, I don't mean literally verbally East. In real life I probably know which direction so I'll just physically point to that direction with my hand (which in my example happens to be East), but I guess when you're typing out a reddit comment, you don't think of communicating such a nuance properly.
u/LycanrocNet
replying to u/TheEnKrypt
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
281 POINTS
Instructions unclear, ended up in Neverland
u/sirgog
replying to u/Timbukthree
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
261 POINTS
And this is why I ask "What's your street address?" rather than "Where do you live?"
u/duckvimes_
replying to u/sirgog
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
53 POINTS
https://xkcd.com/783/
u/AmyTwoTwats
replying to u/mpizzle3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
6829 POINTS
You forgot to add “it’s past Darlene Johnson’s house, you know Darlene her son is John he’s the doctor” (literally no clue who these people are).
u/isocline
replying to u/AmyTwoTwats
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
2928 POINTS
★
Oh my god, this drives me insane. The most mundane question sets off a 15 minute history of the population of your hometown. "Hey, dad, where did you go this afternoon?"
"Well, you remember John Wright? He's Big Jim's daddy. You know Big Jim, he used to work at the gas station right by Delmar's. Well, it used to be Delmar's, now it's a Sears. But Big Jim was Jason's brother. Jason who's sister's daughter was that boy in your class's mom. The boy who got in trouble when he robbed that feed store. Anyway, John wanted me to look at some land he wants to buy. It's down right next to Margaret Shore's old house. You know Margaret..."
He lost me at John Wright, and the guy who robbed the feed store was in my sister's class, who is 10 years my senior.
Edit: Look, I understand the sentiment from a lot of replies saying, "He just wants to talk to you, he loves you, have empathy" and all, and I agree with that sentiment in general. But please trust that I know my dad, and that is not the place where this rambling is coming from in his case.
u/Hybernative
replying to u/isocline
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
168 POINTS
He wants to talk to you. About mundane stuff, because he wishes he could still talk to the people he's lost. He doesn't want to be on his deathbed, regretting not shooting-the-shit with his kid(s), and wondering if you'll deeply regret not talking more with him after he's gone. He doesn't want that to be you.
u/doesnt_ring_a_bell
replying to u/Hybernative
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
72 POINTS
Well he's doing a piss poor job of it. You'd figure with decades of experience talking to people that he's got over you, he'd be a bit better.
I'm gonna get downvoted here for being very harsh, but this is so fucking true. My dad's no longer with me, but it was basically the same story. He wanted to talk - and I wanted to talk with him! But every conversation devolved into a monologue on his choice subject.
Parents need to strive to have dialogues with their kids. Each party should be participating equally. It's not a child's duty to grin and bear it while listening to their parent just because "one day they'll no longer be there".
u/darps
replying to u/isocline
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
109 POINTS
And the older they get, the more their frame of reference becomes stuff from when they were young. Seniors will tell you about local gossip from 60 years ago and expect you to relate to it.
u/Dickballs835682
replying to u/darps
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
54 POINTS
That's awful. Not looking forward to the day everything and everyone I knew is in the past.
None of us know what it's like to be old until we get there, and I think a lot of people in this thread and in general could do with a little more empathy towards their struggles. And also remember they all spent decades breathing fumes from leaded gasoline and will all be dead soon anyway.
Not that there's anything wrong with jokes or criticism, I just like to remind everyone the people they're talking about are people.
u/mildannoyance
replying to u/isocline
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
58 POINTS
That's the kind of thing that would have annoyed me years ago, but now I love to hear my parents talk about mundane stuff like that, while they're still here.
u/A_Wild_Nudibranch
replying to u/isocline
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
40 POINTS
And even worse if there's mention of a year, especially between an older couple
"Howard, you know Big Jim's grand nephew. He was in high school around 1986, or was it 1989?"
"It's 1992 because that was the year the deli shut down"
"No no no, it was 1985... Or 1987... Honey!"
"Yeah?"
"When was Big Jim's niece in high school? She was dating that colored boy remember?"
u/Neverjust_the_tip
replying to u/AmyTwoTwats
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
471 POINTS
This hits to close to home...
u/BIgTrey3
replying to u/mpizzle3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
2628 POINTS
★
My dad gives directions only in cardinal directions, distances, and the numerical name of every road. God help you if you ask left or right and what landmarks are at the the turns.
“If your going south bound on 17, go 7.5 miles and turn west on 220. Take that for 5.2 miles then go north on 209a.”
Listen sacagawea, I’m just trying to meet you for dinner not find start an expedition
u/shiromancer
replying to u/BIgTrey3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
892 POINTS
My dad gives detailed directions for places that aren't part of the route. He's like, "you know when you take a right from here and then there's a lane with a McDonald's on the corner, then when you go further in there's a small coffeeshop next to a grocery store, and just a little further inside is that odd little house with the pink windows?' "Yeah?" "So what you want to do is ignore that lane completely, and keep heading down the main road" THEN WHY GIVE ME ALL THOSE DETAILS
EDIT: Thank you all for the stories! I keep poking fun at him giving directions and we both laugh about it, so I'm sure he'll enjoy hearing all the similar anecdotes from your folks as well!
u/SirRogers
replying to u/shiromancer
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
184 POINTS
My dad is bad about saying stuff like:
"You know that curve where [random townsperson] got killed in a wreck?"
"Uh, no. I don't even know who that is."
"Sure you do! So anyway, when you pass that...."
u/Consanit
replying to u/BIgTrey3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
134 POINTS
OK Garmin
u/julieredl
replying to u/BIgTrey3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
46 POINTS
I actually prefer that method. Cardinal directions aren't dependent on what direction you're coming from like left and right are. It's easy to determine the cardinal directions where I live, but I suppose in an area with no obvious landmarks or no way to see the path of the sun, you'd have trouble.
u/CaptainSur
replying to u/BIgTrey3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
51 POINTS
I am your Dad. We are just telling it as it is. No more, no less.
u/scotems
replying to u/mpizzle3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
1110 POINTS
IN A WORLD WITHOUT CLOCKS, ONE RESTAURANT SEEKS TO RESTORE ORDER. WELCOME. TO TIME HORTON'S.
u/TED_FING_NUGENT
replying to u/mpizzle3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
465 POINTS
I'd honestly be happy with this. My mom just starts naming off streets names as if I have any idea where or what they are. I drove in her hometown the other week (I never been there) and told her I have the gps telling me where to go and that it will be another 20 minutes. Great, right?
No, she lists directions with 10 street names in under a minute that will save me a minute and got mad when I said I have no idea what she is saying and will just follow the gps and keep it simple.
When she asked where I was and named the cross streets that I could see she then quizzed me on if that street was before or after a random street and someone couldnt understand that I'm not memorizing every street name in a town that I probably wont drive back to for a couple of years. I can see asking me if I passed a major road or something, but simple small roads her friends lived on 50 years ago? How am I supposed to know that? The entire time too I'm trying to drive a standard in stop and go traffic in a bunch of hills at night in the snow while following a gps. Let me fucking drive
I just hang up when she starts giving me directions. Got to go bye click the hangup button on the steering wheel
u/Dhiox
replying to u/TED_FING_NUGENT
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
217 POINTS
My parents love to give me shortcuts to shave a couple minutes off a drive, when I'd rather just go straight down the highway and maybe deal with a little traffic. I live in a big city now, I can deal with suburban traffic.
u/unp0ss1bl3
replying to u/Dhiox
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
173 POINTS
Oh god my Dad does this all the time! Most of his directions involve cutting through some guys driveway, or some other thing.
u/luckyhunterdude
replying to u/mpizzle3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
405 POINTS
You forgot to switch off the "mom" mode. Activated "Boomer Dad mode" and you get street names and N,S,E,W directions.
u/ScourgeofWorlds
replying to u/luckyhunterdude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
84 POINTS
Still easier to follow than "Mom" mode if you know a little about where you are.
u/TakeMe2Texas
replying to u/mpizzle3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:38
66 POINTS
Holy shit this is my dad
u/gottamemethemall
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
39367 POINTS
★
"OK Boomer, open YouTube."
"How? Can you show me?"
u/_Disco-Stu
replying to u/gottamemethemall
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
8007 POINTS
Always quickly followed up with, “Oh! I know how to use computers, I knew how before anybody else did. I’m not dumb you know.”
As accusatory as possible for absolutely no reason when you’ve fixed the problem in under 2 minutes.
u/Supevict
replying to u/_Disco-Stu
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
2085 POINTS
Or on the other hand with my dad, "no mate/love, I don't even know how to switch one on! I just get my kids to do it, here, I'll give them the phone and you can talk to them while I go back to reading the newspaper"
u/marr
replying to u/Supevict
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
112 POINTS
The 'switch them on' thing is so bizarre. They have a power button like every other piece of consumer electronics in history. You press it. On modern systems it's often the only button on the damn case.
u/tossersonrye
replying to u/Supevict
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
50 POINTS
Your Dad is wiser than you think!
u/Gearski
replying to u/tossersonrye
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
46 POINTS
Legit this is dad/mum sorcery, they put you in a position where you have to do all the work while they relax...they aren't doing this by accident
u/MrXian
replying to u/_Disco-Stu
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
524 POINTS
I have the reverse conversation with my dad half the time computers pop up.
He'll claim he doesn't know how computers work, and I have to remind him that he's been using them for longer than I've been alive.
u/HandInUnloveableHand
replying to u/MrXian
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
41 POINTS
Same! My mother taught me DOS as a kid.
u/muskeos
replying to u/gottamemethemall
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
48 POINTS
They all type in "Utube" the first time they try to access it
u/ThanIWentTooTherePig
replying to u/muskeos
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
45 POINTS
Or they type in just youtube into the search bar, and for years they've been redirecting themselves to a google link of youtube, instead of typing in the dot com.
u/AltimaNEO
replying to u/ThanIWentTooTherePig
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
41 POINTS
Of course they gotta search for Google first
u/PM-ME-ROAST-BEEF
replying to u/AltimaNEO
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:52:22
52 POINTS
Lmao my mum made me switch her default engine to GoDuckGo and now she goes to GoDuckGo, types in “google”, goes to google, and then makes her search.
I told her that I can switch it back to google for default and her argument is that GDG has better privacy. I guess she thinks GDG cancels out googles privacy setting? Idk
u/Savageschool13
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
38928 POINTS
Ok Boomer, what's the weather like?
"Why don't you go for a walk and see for yourself?"
u/-Badger2-
replying to u/Savageschool13
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
29311 POINTS
★
"OK Boomer, how's the weather?"
"It's currently 26 degrees with a chance of snow in the afternoon. Heh, so much for global warming..."
u/archfapper
replying to u/-Badger2-
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
3686 POINTS
And some trite crack at Al Gore
u/Poem_for_your_sprog
replying to u/archfapper
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
4592 POINTS
★
The world -
the Earth is not the same.
As forests burn in fire and flame,
And great reserves of ice at sea
Are not the things they used to be.
Where species die,
and oceans rise,
And climates climb to soaring highs,
And all that is and was before
Will come to end,
will be no more.
We have to change -
we have to fight.
I've looked outside.
It seems all right.
u/Z1rith
replying to u/Poem_for_your_sprog
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
1123 POINTS
everytime i see sprog i wonder what their gender is, but i dont want to find out and just picture them as a green onion in a cup of water
u/veronicalovesarchie
replying to u/Z1rith
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
293 POINTS
Now I do too. It feels nice.
u/ChivoDeJesus
replying to u/Z1rith
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
112 POINTS
I've always pictured sprog as Frog, from "Frog and Toad are Friends". Don't know why, but that just now dawned on me.
u/MrWeirdoFace
replying to u/Z1rith
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
60 POINTS
I just assume sprog is a sentient AI that's chosen to use its awareness to bring joy to an otherwise disheartening reality.
u/trey3rd
replying to u/archfapper
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
44 POINTS
"He has a house somewhere near the coast! Rabblerabblerabble!"
u/iwannabetheguytoo
replying to u/-Badger2-
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
631 POINTS
26 degrees is really warm though...
u/TreesSpeakingFinnish
replying to u/iwannabetheguytoo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
1912 POINTS
Not if you're using Freedom UnitsTM
u/Baronzemo
replying to u/TreesSpeakingFinnish
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
677 POINTS
In Canada this is especially poignant as we switched to metric and celsius in the late 70s so boomers still sometimes use Fahrenheit.
u/Matthew_A
replying to u/Baronzemo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
603 POINTS
So Americans are just the boomers of the world?
u/TheAspectofAkatosh
replying to u/Matthew_A
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
278 POINTS
I mean... We tend to like explosions and guns. How aren't we the boomers of the world?
u/GlGABITE
replying to u/iwannabetheguytoo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
54 POINTS
I assume they meant Fahrenheit, in which 26 is a few degrees below freezing
u/jroddy94
replying to u/-Badger2-
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
46 POINTS
I love how they never make that joke during the summer when record highs are being broken.
u/TheEnKrypt
replying to u/Savageschool13
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
8826 POINTS
"BACK IN MY DAY, WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE WEATHER"
u/that_guy_you_kno
replying to u/TheEnKrypt
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
1546 POINTS
obligatory
walked down the driveway to school in the snow
u/green_meklar
replying to u/that_guy_you_kno
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
1076 POINTS
Uphill both ways!
u/LotionlnBasketPutter
replying to u/green_meklar
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
71 POINTS
Barefoot, on broken glass.
u/tacochickenstrips
replying to u/LotionlnBasketPutter
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
58 POINTS
Climbing barbed wire fences
u/cmad182
replying to u/tacochickenstrips
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
55 POINTS
Through 6 feet of snow!
u/peachyfluf
replying to u/cmad182
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
48 POINTS
Fought the huns on the way
u/sternje
replying to u/Savageschool13
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:10
663 POINTS
You gotta window? Open it!
u/onesillymom
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
30568 POINTS
Ok Boomer, play today’s hits.
THAT is NOT music!
u/deepsoulfunk
replying to u/onesillymom
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
8447 POINTS
NOW that's NOT what I call music volume 12!
u/notathrowaway21347
replying to u/deepsoulfunk
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
10210 POINTS
★★★
Featuring!
A Lawnmower at 7:00am
An Unexplained Clicking in the Knee
Inappropriate Talk Radio at an Uncomfortable Volume
And the hot new single!
Can You Help Me Install this Email?
Also included, by popular demand!
That Loud, Obnoxious Cough
A Sneeze that Causes a 9.8 Richter Earthquake
A Baby? On *MY** Flight?!*
These great hits and many more! For the low low price of six installments of what I think college tuition costs nowadays!
Order today by calling 1-800-OK-BOOMR!
u/Matthewfabianiscool
replying to u/notathrowaway21347
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
1179 POINTS
You can’t forget that loud, obnoxious cough.
u/jacceteer
replying to u/Matthewfabianiscool
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
622 POINTS
And a sneeze that causes a 9.8 Richter earthquake.
u/OfficialSandwichMan
replying to u/jacceteer
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
763 POINTS
Ah yes, the Dad Sneeze™
Dad Sneezes. The dogs yelp in fear. The house shakes off its foundation. The windows blow out. All the wildlife in the surrounding woodlands flees; birds flock from the trees and the deer and foxes scamper away.
Then – quiet.
u/Dusty_bites_the_dust
replying to u/OfficialSandwichMan
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
56 POINTS
Holy shit, this is like the best description of a Dad sneeze that I ever read, one time I was in a doctor's waiting room and some dude that looked to be around his 40s sneezed and I swear I heard my ears ring for like 3 minutes.
u/UggoMacFuggo
replying to u/onesillymom
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
57 POINTS
I give them a pass on this one lmao. Most boomers came of age in the 60s and 70s and there was some great music then... Jimi Hendrix, the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd...
So the movie Dazed and Confused was made in the 90s but set in the 70s... it’s weird to think the kind of people portrayed in that movie are boomers. When did they become so square man?
u/88yj
replying to u/onesillymom
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
54 POINTS
queue frank sinatra
u/N0V0w3ls
replying to u/88yj
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:21:54
79 POINTS
"It's 'cue'! If you millennials would get your faces out of your iPads and your Netflix and read a book every once in a while...!"
u/Chaosncalculation
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
27085 POINTS
★
“OK Boomer, Call my Husband”
“Only if you tell me when I’m going to get grandkids!!! It’s about time!”
u/TheBellTest
replying to u/Chaosncalculation
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
5782 POINTS
Jesus Christ. My aunt every time I visit.
u/MrLewisC93
replying to u/TheBellTest
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
3321 POINTS
Im dreading my family coming to mine for christmas this year because of this reason. It'll be even worse this time around as we recently brought a dog. Or as they like to call it, a 'practice child'.
u/warmfuzzy22
replying to u/MrLewisC93
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
2813 POINTS
My go to is to just get jokingly graphic about sex until everyone around me is uncomfortable. Then change the subject.
u/CuntCommittee
replying to u/warmfuzzy22
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
3660 POINTS
Well I’ve been creampieing your daughter every night for the past 4 months but nothings happened, got any tips?
u/Efriminiz
replying to u/CuntCommittee
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
1988 POINTS
I feel like that is misspelled but neither creampying or creampiing look right either.
u/PUTTHATINMYMOUTH
replying to u/Efriminiz
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
1528 POINTS
Introduce a different verb to the sentence to address the plural noun:
u/AntManMax
replying to u/PUTTHATINMYMOUTH
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
998 POINTS
You can even use a thesaurus for the verb to get really wild with it:
Injecting creampies, blasting creampies, shooting creampies, spilling creampies, spurting creampies, discharging creampies, and, my personal favorite: pouring creampies
Some verbs you'd need to rearrange things a bit because the subject of the verb is the daughter instead of the creampie:
Flooding your daughter with creampies, distending your daughter / daughter's womb with creampies (poetic, don't you think!), supplying your daughter with creampies.
The possibilities are endless!
*edited to appease creampie enthusiast
u/Gillette0302
replying to u/AntManMax
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
1020 POINTS
So anyway, I started blasting
u/Transhout
replying to u/Efriminiz
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
60 POINTS
I think that the word creampie is actually already the plural, just often misused. A single individual creampie is actually a creampii.
u/WhiteBreadBuddha
replying to u/Transhout
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
51 POINTS
Nah, creampieing is a verb, not a plural noun. Pieing is the classic clown pastime that I use as a precedent to my argument that creampieing is the correct spelling.
u/roogoff
replying to u/CuntCommittee
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
57 POINTS
Good to meet you sir, by the way my dick basically lives inside your daughter.
u/FrijolRefrito
replying to u/warmfuzzy22
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
84 POINTS
Lmao I like that. Make it real graphic and low key vile to really throw em off:
"Actually she calls me Daddy every time I'm coming on her face so we're one step closer!"
"Yeah, Doctor said we've been doing it in the wrong hole, but we're gonna keep trying it for now!"
Boomer minds would explode
u/Abell370
replying to u/warmfuzzy22
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
51 POINTS
"When are you going to get kids?"
"Probably never, we're just way too much into anal."
That should stop any more questions.
u/theappendixofchrist3
replying to u/MrLewisC93
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
1102 POINTS
Just have the more emotional partner start crying and flee the room.
Look at the floor "We, um, we... Almost did. We were going to tell everyone today, but... Last week, it um, and it turns out we can't... So, thanks for asking."
Additional comments: wow this blew up. Don't get me wrong I understand how emotionally traumatizing a miscarriage is. I also understand how emotionally traumatizing infertility is. I hope everyone actually did get a kick out of my comments here. I am certain I offended somebody. For that I apologize and will make a donation to an appropriate non-profit institution.
u/MrLewisC93
replying to u/theappendixofchrist3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
534 POINTS
Deliciously evil but im a terrible actor and wouldnt be able to keep it up then i would feel bad for doing that to my nan.
u/InvisibleFacade
replying to u/MrLewisC93
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
138 POINTS
Not evil at all. It's honestly more evil to try to pressure people into making a life decision that costs them enormous amounts of time and money.
If people don't want kids there nothing wrong with that. The last thing this planet needs is more people.
u/adoptivedaddy
replying to u/theappendixofchrist3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
250 POINTS
I did this (for real, it wasn’t pretending) and what happened next was my parents checking I knew how to have sex. Uh huh.
In the end however, they paid tens of thousands to have us do multiple attempts at IVF, all of which failed and made us miserable and depressed for about five years.
u/eksorXx
replying to u/theappendixofchrist3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
92 POINTS
The pushy rudeness doesn't end with that. They'll 100% know a fantastic fertility doctor, personally of course or at least enough to continuously get you bombarded with options and never letting you forget they're only trying to help you with your problems.. your.. problems...
u/Kaydince
replying to u/MrLewisC93
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
789 POINTS
Run out of the room crying. Have SO glare at them and follow you. Enjoy a nice beverage and then go back and say that you don't want to talk about it.
Or deflect to siblings/cousins who aren't there. "Hey, brother is older than I am, ask him"
I really don't like these questions.
u/VoidZero1337
replying to u/Kaydince
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
84 POINTS
Sadly it wont stop there at least with my family. Nosey fuckers will dig into it even more if you do that, just more sneakily. Each one of them will find you when youre alone and start a super serious conversation because theyre 'deeply concerned' etc. etc.
u/un-taken_username
replying to u/MrLewisC93
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
68 POINTS
🤢🤮
u/Maninhartsford
replying to u/MrLewisC93
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
64 POINTS
Here's your move - act like the dog is your real child. He/she's 17 and about to move out to college. You're not sure if you can handle it. Then you start crying.
u/a-common-username
replying to u/TheBellTest
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
46 POINTS
Then tell her to just ask her own children for grandkids. Your children won’t be your aunts grandchildren, unless you’re from Alabama of course.
u/dirty_0
replying to u/Chaosncalculation
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
2862 POINTS
"When are you going to start finishing inside our daughter?"
u/SunnyVision
replying to u/dirty_0
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
611 POINTS
I feel like this could be a stand up bit
u/cumpod
replying to u/SunnyVision
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
58 POINTS
My cousin told me if you do it standing up then you’re not have a baby, he’s had tons of sex so I don’t think this would be what a boomer would want.
u/Fated_to_Die
replying to u/cumpod
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
52 POINTS
Thanks, cum pod.
u/Parpooops
replying to u/dirty_0
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
362 POINTS
Always finish on da Bach. Never finish on Debussy.
u/Eternallydecent
replying to u/dirty_0
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
85 POINTS
Honestly this. It’s like when people tell you they’re trying for a kid and you don’t know how to react because they’re pretty much telling you he’s creampieing her often, but it’s somehow sociably acceptable lmao
u/AFK_Tornado
replying to u/Eternallydecent
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
238 POINTS
This one might be on you. Everyone should be mature enough to handle the basic facts of reproduction.
u/Great_Bacca
replying to u/AFK_Tornado
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
108 POINTS
I’m with you on this. People make people, it’s not a new or gross thing.
u/mlskid
replying to u/dirty_0
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
50 POINTS
When some of my closer co-workers started asking me this I told them, "When I stop busting on her face."
Surprisingly didn't get asked about it much after that.
u/HiddenLayer5
replying to u/Chaosncalculation
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
55 POINTS
"We're reducing both our economic and environmental impact by not having children. It's not like humanity is an endangered species or anything."
u/VashBandicoot
replying to u/Chaosncalculation
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:25
49 POINTS
I have a son, but i still deal with my mom asking about more grandkids from me just because I'm the only one of her children that isn't in an interracial relationship and mom is a blatant racist.
u/ScooterMcThumbkin
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
23760 POINTS
★★
"Ok Boomer, how's the weather today?"
"Alexa?"
"No, you're supposed to answer me"
"Alexa are you listening? I can't tell if it's listening. Do I start talking yet? I think it stopped. Directions to this address....Alexa?"
u/SheolCodeMonkey
replying to u/ScooterMcThumbkin
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
8582 POINTS
★★
My dad's problem is more that he's way too fucking slow. I've literally seen an exchange that went something like this when he wanted Alexa to play "Man on the Silver Mountain" by Rainbow
Dad: "Alexa"
Alexa: starts listening
Dad: massive pause as he realises he doesn't actually know what he wants to ask her
Alexa: "Sorry, I didn't catch that"
Dad: "Alexa"
Alexa: starts listening
Dad: "Play me..."
Alexa: "Sorry, I didn't catch that"
Dad: "Alexa, shut the fuck up and listen for a sec"
Alexa: "Sorry, I don't understand"
Dad: "Alexa..."
Alexa: starts listening
Dad: "Play me... Man..."
Alexa: starts searching for "Man"
Dad: "...on the..."
Alexa: "Sorry, I couldn't find that in your library"
u/avocadohnoyoudidnt
replying to u/SheolCodeMonkey
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
2516 POINTS
Wow, this is eerily accurate.
u/Trash_Count
replying to u/avocadohnoyoudidnt
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
90 POINTS
A friend of mine is the exact opposite, he would speak too quickly for Alexa to start listening so she only got half of what he was saying then got confused.
u/Shpaan
replying to u/Trash_Count
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
61 POINTS
For some reason both variants are incredibly frustrating for me to imagine.
u/livesinacabin
replying to u/Shpaan
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
65 POINTS
Me too. I don't understand what's so difficult about it. Prepare a sentence that conveys what you want (Play Man on the Moon), and simply say it. Perhaps a little bit slower and/or clearer than normal. How can it be so difficult for grown people to literally talk?
If you need a few tries to get the hang of it I understand, but there are so many people who never learns.
Why???
u/Chikes
replying to u/SheolCodeMonkey
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
655 POINTS
Wait until you have 3 kids asking her questions all at once
u/GoddessOfRoadAndSky
replying to u/Chikes
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
82 POINTS
After my nephews learned how I turn on the living room lights with Alexa, they started shouting at it to turn them on, off, on, off, on, off...
Eventually Alexa said something along the lines of, "It seems you're having a dispute" and stopped responding. The kids were confused. I thought it was hilarious.
u/skinny_malone
replying to u/GoddessOfRoadAndSky
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
50 POINTS
Somebody in the Alexa development department definitely has multiple kids.
u/RosatoLion
replying to u/Chikes
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
74 POINTS
My son asked Alexa to play old town road...
Alexa: Here are some facts about Saudi Arabia
u/McFlyParadox
replying to u/RosatoLion
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
39 POINTS
One of the many reasons I went with Google: it's plugged straight into Google.
That, and they
skywayalready read my email, know my calendar, and where I go everyday. Might as well keep it in the family, rather than invite Amazon to join the party as well.u/discodropper
replying to u/ScooterMcThumbkin
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
3218 POINTS
Lol this is legit my mom
u/typeyhands
replying to u/discodropper
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
1801 POINTS
Dude one time my mom sent me a Facebook message to warn me that she’d sent me a text. Friggin adorable
u/flickh
replying to u/typeyhands
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
1762 POINTS
One time my mom facetimed me and swapped the camera so the whole call, all I could see was her feet. Mom, don’t you think it’s weird that you’re looking at me on the screen and there’s a little movie about feet in the corner? Is the world so weird to you that this doesn’t register as a mistake of some kind?
It was hilarious.
Ps: she was born in 37, so pre-boomer
u/MaestroLogical
replying to u/flickh
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
512 POINTS
To be fair, I imagine she's learned to block out all the extraneous ads we're bombarded with. Probably just thought it was some orthopedic ad and ignored it. ;p
u/sonofaresiii
replying to u/flickh
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
51 POINTS
There's this weird thing I've noticed where for people who didn't grow up on "interactive screens" (eg video games, smartphones, etc.)
they just have absolute blind spots to information on the screen. Like it's just this weird tunnel vision.
I noticed it when my fiancee started gaming with me, and she'd constantly ask, like, "How did you figure out how to jump?"
and I'd just stare at her dumbfounded and say
"...press A. It says that on the screen. Right now. Right above your character's head, it says 'Press A to jump'." (joking tone, obviously)
That kind of thing happens all the time. They just mentally reject any extraneous information.
u/DoctorDiagram
replying to u/ScooterMcThumbkin
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
2663 POINTS
My grandma has full on conversations with Siri. "Hello, Siri? What is the name of the museum in Maryland that is getting written up in the-"
Siri: "Here is a list of museums in Maryland."
Grandma: "-Washington Post. What did she just say? Siri, what did you say? I can't stand this woman. SIRI?!"
Siri: "Do you want to see articles from the Washington Post?
Grandma: "No I would not. I would like to know the name of the museum that was written up there."
Siri: "..."
Grandma: "Oh for heavens sake how to you talk to this batty woman?"
u/Teelo888
replying to u/DoctorDiagram
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
1303 POINTS
To be fair Siri is fucking terrible, at least compared to Alexa. I swear Siri hasn’t improved a bit in the last 5 years.
u/e-chem-nerd
replying to u/Teelo888
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
836 POINTS
Siri also only ever uses Yelp when you look up restaurants or stores, I assume because Apple made a deal with them. I don’t want to be tethered to Yelp, which forces me to download their app to read reviews on mobile. It’s a huge loss of functionality and the hill I will die on in my hatred of Apple.
u/JTswift
replying to u/e-chem-nerd
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
47 POINTS
You can't even look at the pictures for a place without it trying to install the Yelp app.
u/Accentu
replying to u/Teelo888
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
142 POINTS
And Alexa is terrible compared to the Google assistant. I have an echo dot downstairs and a Google home mini upstairs. Alexa answers questions either wrong or not at all... so she ends up as a kitchen timer 99% of the time.
u/Godphree
replying to u/Accentu
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
54 POINTS
OMG this. "Alexa, set timer for 10 minutes."
Ten minutes later: "Beep beep BOOP BOOP"
"Alexa, STOP."
u/megatesla
replying to u/Teelo888
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:23:27
58 POINTS
I'm pretty sure Siri has actually gotten dumber than when she was first written.
u/WaluigisOveralls
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
22154 POINTS
★
"OK Boomer, restaurants near by"
"we have food at home"
u/Tinkrr2
replying to u/WaluigisOveralls
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
3710 POINTS
This is good advice to keep you from blowing all your money on avocado toast.
u/SeverelyModerate
replying to u/Tinkrr2
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
975 POINTS
I bought an avocado toast ornament at Michael’s this year. Gonna hang it up in my house that I own. By myself. Suck on that, Boomer Babies!
u/Tinkrr2
replying to u/SeverelyModerate
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
707 POINTS
Wait, who let you buy a house? I thought there were laws against such things for millennials.
u/Burberry_Timbs
replying to u/Tinkrr2
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
601 POINTS
He downloaded you fucking out of touch boomer
u/Tinkrr2
replying to u/Burberry_Timbs
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
264 POINTS
Downloaded? Sorry, I don't listen to hip hop.
u/kyeosh
replying to u/Burberry_Timbs
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
211 POINTS
YOU WOULDN'T DOWNLOAD A HOUSE
u/rworld1
replying to u/Tinkrr2
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
370 POINTS
I actually just realized I've lost 25 lbs in 3 months and the only change was cutting out eating out
u/Tinkrr2
replying to u/rworld1
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
239 POINTS
I know that feeling. I used to eat out all the time in college and one day noticed how much I was spending on it. Once I dropped that habit, not only did I lose weight but also I enjoyed the occasional going out way more than the constant eating out.
u/taywally
replying to u/Tinkrr2
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
93 POINTS
Bet your girlfriend was sad about that
u/CraftyBarnardo
replying to u/taywally
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
235 POINTS
I know that girls like to be taken on dates for dinner and such, but you can replace eating out with less expensive dates like walks in the park, or going to fly kites. Or you can give her more oral sex, women like that too.
u/Yitram
replying to u/CraftyBarnardo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
63 POINTS
The real LPT is in the comments.
u/davisherm
replying to u/WaluigisOveralls
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
3182 POINTS
The nearest cracker barrel is only 28.6 miles away.
u/CalamityCactus
replying to u/davisherm
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
1694 POINTS
My parents, prime Boomers, drove from Tennessee to Washington State. They routed to as many Cracker Barrel’s as possible. They’re confused and sad that there isn’t a single one within driving distance of Seattle. They also insisted on driving an hour north of Seattle to go to Wal Mart for some random shit that was readily available nearby. They’re categorically insane.
u/MarcBulldog88
replying to u/CalamityCactus
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
631 POINTS
This sounds less like boomers specifically, and more like they're just unworldly southerners.
u/IMIndyJones
replying to u/MarcBulldog88
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
110 POINTS
I don't think it's even southerners specifically, (other than OP's parents being southern). I've had people from Michigan come to Chicago, where we have some amazing food, and insist on finding an Olive Garden. Hell, even some friends born here in the burbs can't get out of their comfort zones.
u/Thanks_Aubameyang
replying to u/IMIndyJones
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
46 POINTS
I live in Hawaii and local people are obsessed with Olive Garden. Like they cant visit the mainland without finding one. That and Trader Joes. Fucking wild. There would be riots if one opened on oahu.
u/squirrels33
replying to u/CalamityCactus
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
137 POINTS
Insane? They sound like a couple normal ‘muricans to me.
u/finnknit
replying to u/CalamityCactus
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
61 POINTS
Cracker Barrell used to give out free maps of the USA that had the location of every Cracker Barrell restaurant marked.
u/princessblowhole
replying to u/WaluigisOveralls
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
375 POINTS
More like: “Applebee’s, 2 locations. TGI Fridays 3 locations, Olive Garden, 2 locations.”
u/Meetybeefy
replying to u/princessblowhole
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
190 POINTS
Boomers love chain restaurants. My hometown Facebook news page is full of people complaining about another dollar store or urgent care opening up. "We don't need another dollar store! How about a Wendy's, Applebees, or Taco Bell!?"
u/Aggregatetim
replying to u/WaluigisOveralls
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
67 POINTS
Why ask? It would always point you to a Denny's anyway. "The Bourbon chicken is to DIE for!"
u/00dontask
replying to u/WaluigisOveralls
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
65 POINTS
"It's after 4:30. You have missed supper time."
u/TinktheChi
replying to u/WaluigisOveralls
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:30:23
44 POINTS
And don't hold the fridge door open all night, you're not paying to air condition the neighborhood!
u/Wyvrex
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
20480 POINTS
★
"Ok boomer, Engineering job listings in my area."
"Job listings? You are just playing around on the internet. Figure out where you want to work and go down there. Ask to speak with a manager. Shake his hand, look him in the eye and ask for a job!"
Edit: This post brought to you by painful memories of job hunting during the 2008 recession. My dad was getting on my case every day about "playing on the computer" when I was checking job sites and going through their infuriating sites that make me upload my resume, then fill in fields that are on my resume three different times. Someone in the comments below dropped the classic "Pound the pavement" and I felt my blood pressure spike. Thanks.
u/joec388
replying to u/Wyvrex
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
9491 POINTS
★
Didn't work, couldn't get buzzed in through the security door. Also the manager isn't on-site and works remote from another city. Also they don't hire directly so you have to apply to the staffing agency first. Also the position advertised through the staffing agency isn't really open because they've already selected someone internally, and only posted it to meet regulations.
u/AtbBerare
replying to u/joec388
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
4578 POINTS
You: "OK boomer, it didn't work, couldn't get buzzed in through the security door. Also the manager isn't on-site and works remote from another city. Also they don't hire directly so you have to apply to the staffing agency first. Also the position advertised through the staffing agency isn't really open because they've already selected someone internally, and only posted it to meet regulations."
OK boomer:" You are just making excuses."
u/Straight_Ace
replying to u/AtbBerare
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
1191 POINTS
Ugh literally the very response I get from my mother and grandmother.
u/raspberrykoolaid
replying to u/Straight_Ace
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
1227 POINTS
I can't fucking stand people who don't know the difference between a 'reason' and an 'excuse'. They just assume you're a raging idiot that hasn't thought out the problem at all. they want you to accept their "solution" that they've given 2 seconds of their life to come up with and then get mad that their stupid answer isn't received as a genius life altering solution you could never have come up with on your own.
u/tremblinglikeaflower
replying to u/raspberrykoolaid
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
324 POINTS
Yep! And they'll bring up the friend's son, who's do much better and successful than you are
u/OhHeckf
replying to u/joec388
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
57 POINTS
They're not really hiring, they're just surveying the market to see what they could have and for what price. Sometimes, they'll even interview people in person and not hire anyone.
u/green_meklar
replying to u/Wyvrex
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
5185 POINTS
"And dress smartly! I mean with a suit and tie!"
"OK boomer, how do I tie a tie?"
"What are you asking me for? Do you plan to rely on me for everything for the rest of your life? You need to show more initiative and responsibility!"
u/MrTerribleArtist
replying to u/green_meklar
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
1518 POINTS
... this one actually got to me a little bit..
u/ColoneISanders
replying to u/MrTerribleArtist
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
73 POINTS
This whole chain is giving me flashbacks to when I was younger and the conversations I'd have with my Dad...
u/HippoKingOfOld
replying to u/green_meklar
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
698 POINTS
"Dad, can you come over and show me how to fix the water pump?"
"My god your generation is useless."
"Well how did you learn to fix a pump?"
"My dad showed me."
...................................
u/Thoth74
replying to u/HippoKingOfOld
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
207 POINTS
Fine. Give me HIS number. Because apparently you, also, are useless.
u/Rick-476
replying to u/Wyvrex
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
183 POINTS
It took a year of applying and having no luck before my dad realized that the Internet doesn't make the whole process easier or more expedient. What's ironic is when I switched industries and it became the norm to physically go down the company and fill out an application. Gotta say, kinda wish you could go down to some place you want to work at and actually talk to someone.
u/8282FergasaurusRexx
replying to u/Wyvrex
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
94 POINTS
Holy shit. This was my dad's real advice for me when I was an unemployed 22 year old. He also told me that if I get rejected to just keep showing up every day until the boss sees how "hungry" I am.
u/iammabanana
replying to u/8282FergasaurusRexx
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
59 POINTS
That's a good way to get banned from a company
u/windyx
replying to u/Wyvrex
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:44:09
42 POINTS
When I was looking for a job this is literally what my father told me to do, and was very insistent about it.
Now I work as a recruiter for a medium sized company in Europe. If your application isn't processed through the system, we automatically breach Data Privacy Protection under EU law. No resumes over email either.
Basically it's "not-compliant" for a company to accept your resume without your explicit consent for them to read it. Also they need to delete/destroy all of your data after a period of 6 months unless you specifically give them permission to have it for longer.
So yeah, don't hit the pavement. If you want to meet managers go to a networking event, conference or Meetup. Get their card, apply on their webpage and then let them know that you applied so that they can pull your application ahead of other people pending CV review. (Emailing the CV also kinda works but it's a hassle for them since they have to manually input you in the system OR they give this to a recruiter to do and then they're mad at you).
Edit: PS. Managers who need to hire people in their team/company also go to the these events to meet potential employees. You have the chance to do a mini-interview on the spot!
u/PM_ME_UR_FAVE-SHIRT
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
19906 POINTS
OK Boomer, how's the weather today?
"Open the window and stick your arm out. Is it wet? That must mean it's raining. Is it cold? Put on a sweater. Try figuring out things on your own kiddo."
u/Wolfandhusky12
replying to u/PM_ME_UR_FAVE-SHIRT
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
5786 POINTS
This is the nicest boomer reply just cause he said kiddo
u/Radventure
replying to u/Wolfandhusky12
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
1773 POINTS
I’m in my early 20s and I use kiddo am I a secret boomer
u/Wsleep
replying to u/Radventure
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
1341 POINTS
The council will get back to you with a verdict
u/None
replying to u/Wsleep
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
679 POINTS
We find the defendant guilty.
u/Wsleep
replying to u/None
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
451 POINTS
Well that was quick
u/Ultimatecookie57
replying to u/Wsleep
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
344 POINTS
No don't listen to that guy. He doesn't even work here and he's drinking at 10:38. What a disgrace. The verdict will be posted tommorow.
u/CatChanDuck
replying to u/Ultimatecookie57
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
146 POINTS
Change of plans, we’ve come to a verdict now. Guilty.
u/electricbee1
replying to u/CatChanDuck
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
68 POINTS
Shall he be hanged?
Edit: What shall be his punishment?
u/mosstrich
replying to u/electricbee1
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
75 POINTS
The same punishment that most millennials must abide. Crippling student loan debt.
u/CatChanDuck
replying to u/electricbee1
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
47 POINTS
With all due haste.
u/Cptcuddlybuns
replying to u/Wolfandhusky12
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
94 POINTS
Ah but it's a patronizing kiddo, not an affectionate kiddo. Important difference.
u/HiddenLayer5
replying to u/PM_ME_UR_FAVE-SHIRT
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:39
59 POINTS
Whereas a Boomer would absolutely be irate if you turned off the TV during the weather forecast. Ironic.
u/riiptemp
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
17054 POINTS
“Ok boomer, how can I pay for college?”
“Write a check like I did!”
u/Lover_Of_The_Light
replying to u/riiptemp
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
8995 POINTS
I once got in an online debate with my uncle about this very subject. His argument was that he worked a minimum wage job to put himself through college and support his family, so we youngsters should quit complaining. To prove my point, I calculated how many hours it would take at current minimum wage just to pay current tuition at his alma mater, and it was over 100 hours per week. He was so angry that a year and a half later he still had the date of that argument memorized and cited it as an example of my disrespectful attitude.
u/Antice
replying to u/Lover_Of_The_Light
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
8135 POINTS
Millenial: proves a point using math. Boomer: stop disrespecting me.
u/D-Zee
replying to u/Antice
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
6427 POINTS
★★
When you're being disrespected by mathematics you know you're fucked
u/lalakingmalibog
replying to u/D-Zee
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
302 POINTS
2 + 2 is 4
Minus 1 that's 3
Quick maths
u/plipyplop
replying to u/lalakingmalibog
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
67 POINTS
Them's fightin' words!
u/MrAcurite
replying to u/D-Zee
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
149 POINTS
Math has a well known liberal bias
u/Dexaan
replying to u/Antice
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
1350 POINTS
Exactly the kind of situation that "Ok Boomer" is for.
u/PettyCrimeMan
replying to u/Dexaan
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
144 POINTS
X was fine, stop complaining
X is wrong now though
X was fine when I was a Y
X is different now here is maths to prove it.
Your attitude is disrepectful you snowflake
Heh... You fell right in to my trap. I activate OK BOOMER. Your life points are 0 and I banish you to the old folks realm.
u/Automatree
replying to u/Antice
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
121 POINTS
That's exactly why "OK Boomer" is trending as a reply. They're gonna be offended no matter how you disagree, why bother wasting your time with the math if they're just gonna ignore it anyways?
u/HyruleanMaster
replying to u/Lover_Of_The_Light
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
1502 POINTS
I love when you prove someone wrong so decisively they have no rebuttal but the typical boomer "don't disrespect me."
u/nrkyrox
replying to u/HyruleanMaster
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
653 POINTS
That's why we invented "Okay boomer".
u/HellFyri
replying to u/HyruleanMaster
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
40 POINTS
I get the good old “your the child, not the parent” like pls F off already Source: dealing with my Mum in day to day life
u/Slammpig
replying to u/Lover_Of_The_Light
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
693 POINTS
Well, at least his anger proves you right... not like my mom, when confronted with maths and facts, she goes "you cant belive everything you read online, your facts are wrong"
*cries in multiple sources\*
u/-FeistyRabbitSauce-
replying to u/Slammpig
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
466 POINTS
Also mom: Goes and believes everything she reads on facebook.
u/Slammpig
replying to u/-FeistyRabbitSauce-
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
54 POINTS
Yup, pretty much! Wikipedia is bad and everyone can edit it.. but Facebook is a failsafe source of wisdom!
u/ah-tow-wah
replying to u/Lover_Of_The_Light
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
134 POINTS
Come on now... that's only 14 hours a day. You only need 8 hours to sleep and 1 or 2 to eat, so you should be good. Get to it!
u/OnCommence17
replying to u/riiptemp
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
5381 POINTS
Your great uncle set up a table in the park and repaired bicycles one summer when he wanted money for college. After college he got a job at the lab equipment factory by giving the manager a firm handshake and bought a house in the city at age 23. I guess you kids just have other priorities these days.
u/DrWho1970
replying to u/OnCommence17
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
2341 POINTS
These days you would probably get a citation for operating without a business license.
u/Harregarre
replying to u/DrWho1970
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
1902 POINTS
Boomers like barriers to entry to protect themselves.
Also boomers; why don't you guys just start a business and become wealthy like us?
u/Keianh
replying to u/Harregarre
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
952 POINTS
Reminds me of Mitt Romney back when he was campaigning:
"Just get a $20,000 loan and start a business"
Sure Senator Romney, it's just that easy to be self employed you Bain Capital business liquidating horse's ass!
u/rohmish
replying to u/Keianh
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
554 POINTS
That 20k wouldn't be enough to get all the prerequisites in place these days
u/LewisRyan
replying to u/rohmish
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
66 POINTS
Just here to say, if you don’t have a car to get to said job, that 20k is half gone just to get out of your neighborhood.
u/rohmish
replying to u/LewisRyan
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
60 POINTS
This!!!
I recently moved to North America and I just hate the public transit. Its costly, unreliable, sparse, not well connected. Granted i used to live in a mega city and current city even isn't close to that but this is a rapidly growing, rather dense, modern city.
A <10 mins ride by car is almost an hour in bus plus the wait (15 mins for 2 hours, 30 min off peak for a busy route) and not to mention buses are 30+ mins delayed.
u/ZombieElvis
replying to u/OnCommence17
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
945 POINTS
We do! They're called "eating" and "shelter".
u/snukebox_hero
replying to u/ZombieElvis
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
41 POINTS
Snowflake
u/sonrad10
replying to u/snukebox_hero
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
49 POINTS
Back in my day we didn't even have food
u/flickh
replying to u/OnCommence17
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
894 POINTS
Steve Jobs said he called people like the head of development for HP and asked for spare parts, no one ever refused to take his call. When he was just some dude working in his garage. HP even gave him a job in the factory.
Ok Steve
u/iatetacos
replying to u/flickh
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
631 POINTS
And yet the entirety of the 15 years I have done electronic repairs, his company has refused to sell parts. Or even send parts for a warranty repair.
u/coolbond1
replying to u/iatetacos
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
62 POINTS
Apple is horrible when it comes to that, if they had their way all apple products would be disposable
u/dym_sh
replying to u/coolbond1
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
55 POINTS
and self-destruct the moment a new one comes out,
since force-updating iOS to make everything slower is not always enough
u/None
replying to u/iatetacos
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
47 POINTS
Ahhaha it's like jobs saw that shit and realized he could make tonnes of money off ppl that idolized his products.
The thing I hate most about automation. Is that it's almost impossible to get help if your account has a problem on the developers end that they can't solve.
Imagine being an Amazon seller with a good account that gets glitched with another account and you lose all access to your account and the only help you can get is a customer support from the Philippines with no knowledge of the back end code to really help with your problem. Took 2 months for Amazon to fix my account properly.
Imagine, if technology becomes hyper real and is indistinguishable from reality..if you disconnected..you'd probably have a mental breakdown. And also not be able to buy food or go into certain buildings. Like wtf. The future could be ostensibly scary.
Sorry I'm high.
TL;DR: I'm high
u/crisader
replying to u/flickh
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
507 POINTS
Then it's even more rude of him, that I've been trying to reach him for years, but he's never picking up.
u/Helpimstuckinreddit
replying to u/crisader
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
87 POINTS
Man I have some bad news for you
u/jrhoffa
replying to u/Helpimstuckinreddit
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
109 POINTS
You mean fruit doesn't cure cancer?
u/FourthLife
replying to u/riiptemp
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
710 POINTS
Just work part time at the local factory! I did that during summers and had enough for college tuition, plus enough left over at the end to afford a house!
u/SlitScan
replying to u/FourthLife
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
64 POINTS
I don't speak Mandarin.
u/Tawny_Harpy
replying to u/FourthLife
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
53 POINTS
“Part time”
Lol most factories nowadays require you to work 40 hours plus overtime.
u/GreystarOrg
replying to u/riiptemp
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
289 POINTS
"Just work a part time job!"
u/c71score
replying to u/riiptemp
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:02:48
283 POINTS
"OK boomer, what's a check?"
"A check is how you pay for groceries in the express lane"
u/howiejriii
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
16995 POINTS
OK Boomer look up therapists near me
Have you tried thinking positive thoughts?
u/Shpookie_Angel
replying to u/howiejriii
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
3613 POINTS
Well, have you? Back in my day, we used to pull up our bootstraps and grit our teeth. Young folks these days, don't even know what's going on in your heads.
u/hatchetthehacker
replying to u/Shpookie_Angel
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
1463 POINTS
The fact that boomers don't understand the meaning of pulling yourself up by the bootstraps never ceases to agrivate me
u/Guest06
replying to u/hatchetthehacker
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
564 POINTS
What does it mean? Genuine question.
Edit: thanks for the definitions, I'm clear on the meaning now.
u/CYNIC_Torgon
replying to u/Guest06
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
1229 POINTS
If I'm not mistaken, its supposed to be a joke or like purposely poor advice, as pulling yourself up by your bootstraps would achieve basically nothing in most scenarios, even figuratively as you wouldn't get very far.
u/Pseudoboss11
replying to u/CYNIC_Torgon
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
1061 POINTS
A key piece of information is that bootstraps are straps on high boots, like cowboy boots, to help you put them on.
Now imagine standing in your boots, and pulling on them, expecting to just levitate into the air.
u/MegaPompoen
replying to u/Pseudoboss11
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
299 POINTS
Its like that troll meme where you sit in a metal bucket and hold a magnet above your head to fly
u/Spikeroog
replying to u/MegaPompoen
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
81 POINTS
It's 6 am and I spent solid 5 minutes to contemplate why I have to shit in the bucket for this to work.
u/Guest06
replying to u/CYNIC_Torgon
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
281 POINTS
"You know back in my day "gay" didn't mean a queer! This is the same thing! Goddamn millennials twisting words like they own them!"
u/Totally_Not_A_Soviet
replying to u/Guest06
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
184 POINTS
It was bassicly meant to say something was impossible, as pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is impossible
u/SorrowfulSouls
replying to u/howiejriii
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
990 POINTS
In my place it actually goes like this
Me - "Can I please get into counseling or get a therapist?"
Boomers - "Have you tried praying and asking for god to help you?"
u/Jango1113
replying to u/SorrowfulSouls
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
697 POINTS
My answer to that will always be "Yeah, God provided a professional to help me." They don't know how to respond and it's kinda funny.
u/ediblesprysky
replying to u/Jango1113
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
147 POINTS
This is a good response for any sort of luddite religious silliness. God has provided the answer to this stupid problem you're having through modern technology. You're basically already rejecting his help, so like, what more do you want?
u/Trinitykill
replying to u/ediblesprysky
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
66 POINTS
Its like the joke about how one day a town begins to flood, a lot of people get evacuated but the town vicar gets trapped on his roof as the water level keeps rising.
The vicar prays to God to save him. Later on a couple of local residents in a dinghy spot the vicar and shout for him to jump down and get into their boat. The vicar looks at the water and denies, saying "it's alright, god will save me." So the dinghy moves on.
Later a rescue boat comes by looking for stranded people and they spot the vicar and ask him to jump to their boat but he refuses, saying "God will save me" so the boat moves on.
Finally the water has risen so much that the vicar's ankles are under. Suddenly a rescue helicopter flies above and drops their ladder. But the vicar denies them as well. "Go save the others first, God will save me".
Eventually the water rises and the vicar drowns. When he opens his eyes he's stood at the pearly gates of heaven and God is before him. The vicar angrily points, "my lord I prayed all day in your name, why did you not save me?".
God stares him down and says "I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more do you fuckin want?"
u/skittlesallday
replying to u/howiejriii
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
610 POINTS
jUsT gO oUtSiDe
u/AbortMeDaddy01
replying to u/skittlesallday
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
471 POINTS
how the fuck is cyber bullying real? JUST TURN OFF THE SCREEN AND WALK AWAY
u/Thagyr
replying to u/AbortMeDaddy01
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
249 POINTS
Oh, you're getting bullied on your computer?...can you pause it?
u/Hartknockz
replying to u/Thagyr
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
42 POINTS
YOU CAN'T PAUSE ONLINE BULLYING!!!
u/XperiMental21
replying to u/AbortMeDaddy01
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
87 POINTS
I mean... This one sounds legitimate
u/EverGreatestxX
replying to u/XperiMental21
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
107 POINTS
The thing is cyberbullies are usually people you know in real life like a classmate in high school. Not to mention social media is often a big part of socializing in modern middle/high schools.
u/AmeenaTutu
replying to u/howiejriii
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
274 POINTS
In my day, our therapist was your granddad's belt. If we were caught sulking, dad would whoop it out of us. If you saw the neighbor kid getting whooped in the front yard, you just assumed he did something to deserve it.
u/shygirlturnedsassy
replying to u/AmeenaTutu
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
84 POINTS
It never seizes to amaze how much these assholes like to normalize and even glorify child abuse.
u/Dr_fish
replying to u/shygirlturnedsassy
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
40 POINTS
"Because I turned out fine!"
Except when they think child abuse is okay, and even perpetuate it themselves as part of the cycle of inter-generational abuse, then nah, you didn't turn out okay.
u/unnaturalorder
replying to u/howiejriii
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:13:32
207 POINTS
Or, alternatively, not being sad?
u/ousteT
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:39:50
15827 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, what time is it?''
"What? You don't know how to read a clock? The future is doomed."
u/Curator44
replying to u/ousteT
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:39:50
4687 POINTS
Na the boomer answer would be
Time for you to get a watch
u/luckyhunterdude
replying to u/Curator44
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:39:50
2647 POINTS
That's a dad answer. not just limited to a certain generation.
u/SirGanjaSpliffington
replying to u/luckyhunterdude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:39:50
1863 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, set a reminder for December 11th. Doctors appointment at 10am."
"See that's the problem with you millennials. You're too dependent on smartphones for everything. Why are you setting up a doctor's appointment anyway? If you're not dying you don't need to go to the hospital. Back in my day you don't go to the doctors when you feel sick. You do what real men do and tough it out. Only sissy Nancy boys go to the doctors for feeling sick. Real men only go to the doctors when they have real problems like getting stabbed through the abdomen with a rusty bayonet from the VC or contracted syphilis from a Saigon whore."
Edit: I forgot to put quotation marks.
u/luckyhunterdude
replying to u/SirGanjaSpliffington
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:39:50
281 POINTS
jesus. I don't know who you dad is, but I really need to hang out with him.
u/xyzqfm
replying to u/luckyhunterdude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:39:50
298 POINTS
Watch out, he contracted syphilis from a Saigon whore, you don't want to mess around with him
u/MichaelDelta
replying to u/SirGanjaSpliffington
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:39:50
51 POINTS
FF/EMT here. Boomers love to go to the hospital. Car in the driveway? Ambulance. Toe ache? Ambulance. They are big old pussies.
u/MagicalMonarchOfMo
replying to u/ousteT
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:39:50
56 POINTS
Alternatively:
“Time for you to get a watch.”
Edit: Sorry everyone, my dad’s a baby boomer, and so, y’know...dad jokes.
Edit 2: If anybody is looking for another dad response to this question, there’s always “Turpentine, don’t that burn your ass.”
u/Voittaa
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
14898 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, directions to 5th and Montgomery."
"we don't need a map, I know where it is."
waits a minute
"...uh..."
u/SonOfSparda304
replying to u/Voittaa
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
2556 POINTS
Fuck this drives me crazy. I use Google maps damn near everywhere because it reroutes based on real time traffic...ride in the truck with my dad and he always takes his routes
u/MarchKick
replying to u/SonOfSparda304
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
1284 POINTS
We were in a whole different state and the person (boomer) driving wanted to go to a restaurant she had been to once two+ years ago and she insisted that my google maps and my friend's apple maps were wrong and continued getting us more lost. She kept saying "I remember it was near the library and then you have to turn onto the interstate"..
u/The97545
replying to u/MarchKick
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
773 POINTS
I just had a horrible thought. What if I become the oldman that's getting everybody lost with Google maps while my grandkids are insisting on using some new shit. "Come on grandad, the chiral network sayz you shoulda turn back there"
u/funbob1
replying to u/The97545
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
561 POINTS
Google will buy Chiral far before it becomes a worthy competitor, so don't worry zoomer.
u/pm_me_for_a_friend_
replying to u/funbob1
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
50 POINTS
I often wonder if google have developed an AI to see how much of a threat a new company is and whether they should buy it or not
u/n0remack
replying to u/SonOfSparda304
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
48 POINTS
When I got my drivers license, I was all "I'm not going to stick to the traditional routes, I know more than 1 way home"
...turns out the traditional routes were always the fastest...
Here and there though...I could take a back road home.
u/wildflower1756
replying to u/Voittaa
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
800 POINTS
Oh my god if I had a nickel for every time my grandma would flat REFUSE to give an address because "I know where it is. It had that tree in front that got struck by lightening in '92"
"Okay, so it's got a big dead tree in front?"
"Oh no, the storm knocked it down. It's where it WAS"
u/Norknerd
replying to u/wildflower1756
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:24:59
155 POINTS
I laughed way to hard at this! I used to be a courier running rural routes. Ended up in this podunk town trying to find a rural routes address. These are post office addresses, not street addresses, and the post office would NOT tell us where the house was located because we were the competition. I stopped at the only store/gas station in town ('town' was this store, a feed/hardware store, and a bar). Every one stops what they're doing and turns to look at me when I walk in. No shit. This town is nowhere near a highway, they don't get many out of town visitors. I ask where so and so at this address lives. The cashier stared at me for the longest time, then tells me to take the road west out of town for so many miles and take a right at the old Johnson barn, then down another mile on the left. I ask what color the barn is, she tells me the barn is gone, I'm supposed to take a right where the old Johnson barn USED to be. Bahahaha!
u/smileedude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
14237 POINTS
OK boomer, turn the thermostat to 23°C.
That function is locked to users.
u/AngryZen_Ingress
replying to u/smileedude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
4168 POINTS
23C? Is that C for Commie?!
u/Ajf45
replying to u/AngryZen_Ingress
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
1775 POINTS
[Fortunate Son Intensifies]
u/ethanthejibbles
replying to u/Ajf45
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
577 POINTS
SOME FOLKS ARE BORN MADE TO WAVE THE FLAG
u/MichaelBoltonIsMyDad
replying to u/ethanthejibbles
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
356 POINTS
OOOOH THE RED WHITE AND BLUUUE
u/real_hungarian
replying to u/MichaelBoltonIsMyDad
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
155 POINTS
AND WHEN THE BAND PLAYS "HAIL TO THE CHIEF"
u/lukeschaps
replying to u/real_hungarian
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
135 POINTS
OOH, THEY POINT THE CANNON AT YOU, LORD
u/dad_ahead
replying to u/lukeschaps
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
107 POINTS
IT AIN'T ME
u/canine_introvert
replying to u/dad_ahead
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
101 POINTS
IT AIN'T MEEEE
u/wallmic
replying to u/canine_introvert
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
73 POINTS
I AINT NO FORTUNATE SOOOON NO NO
u/isnialan
replying to u/canine_introvert
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
47 POINTS
I AIN'T NO SENATORS SON NO
u/mxracer18
replying to u/dad_ahead
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
48 POINTS
IT AIN'T ME, I AIN'T NO SENATORS SON NO
u/calhendy
replying to u/Ajf45
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
43 POINTS
I've never gotten the past couple decades of pairing Fortunate Son and patriotism. I've seen some hillbillies blast it like a rock national anthem...the lyrics are pretty fucking straightforward. Not sure what the disconnect is there.
u/iwasprobablyhighthen
replying to u/AngryZen_Ingress
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
480 POINTS
Damn right it does, we only use freedom units round here
u/Dugillion
replying to u/iwasprobablyhighthen
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
187 POINTS
Fuck'n A right, ya look at da moon and you see footprints, NOT METERPRINTS!
u/Eletrodhil
replying to u/AngryZen_Ingress
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
265 POINTS
Nope, it's C for competent
u/hatchetthehacker
replying to u/Eletrodhil
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
236 POINTS
Strong words for someone in ICBM range
u/NSA_Chatbot
replying to u/hatchetthehacker
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
107 POINTS
You probably fucked up the conversion and your missile will hit a grain silo in Tibet.
u/Wright606
replying to u/NSA_Chatbot
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
150 POINTS
You mean liberated a grain silo in Tibet.
u/aljabbarthestar
replying to u/smileedude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
217 POINTS
My American customary system brain can’t handle this
u/UltraChip
replying to u/aljabbarthestar
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
285 POINTS
It's 73.4° in Fahrenheit. I don't know why everyone is trying to guess or compare it to things instead of just doing the conversion lol.
u/smileedude
replying to u/aljabbarthestar
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
124 POINTS
I just learn afew points
Human body 37C 100F
Perfect Day 27C 80F
Need a jumper 16C 60F
Water freezes 0C 32F
So 23C is a bit closer to 80F than 60F so like 72F
u/Langviksmon
replying to u/smileedude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
335 POINTS
27°C a perfect day? That's your opinion.
u/HoaryPuffleg
replying to u/Langviksmon
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
261 POINTS
My perfect day? I'd have to say April 25th because it's not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.
u/hufflepuk
replying to u/HoaryPuffleg
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
42 POINTS
My sister is getting married April 25 and I’m just gonna spam Miss Congeniality memes in our family group chat the entire week leading up to it.
u/Zharken
replying to u/smileedude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
60 POINTS
Perfect day 27? Wtf? Perfect day is 20, where do you live? In mordor? Are you used to live under 40°C or something?
u/None
replying to u/smileedude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:54
46 POINTS
[deleted]
u/tarahdactyl_x
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
12399 POINTS
“OK Boo—“
“By your age I had a house, car, and 50k in savings. You need to stop asking for handouts”
u/wholebunchofbees
replying to u/tarahdactyl_x
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
3599 POINTS
My mom told me when I was 26, “I was married and had a house when I was your age.”
COOL MOM! HOW MUCH STUDENT LOAN DEBT DID YOU HAVE!?!???!!!
u/Tawny_Harpy
replying to u/wholebunchofbees
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
2219 POINTS
My dad knocked up my mom right before he deployed for his first year in the military.
Thus, they lived on base housing. No rent, utilities, etc. They basically paid for food and stuff to keep us kids entertained.
My mom worked, but that’s because my dad is very stingy with his money.
Her and my dad all the time: “Well when I was your age I had two kids, I lived out on my own, and I was paying for all of my own stuff!”
No student loan debt. No real bills. No heavy expenses. Of course, when I point this out to them, they tell me that I should have gone into the military.
I fucking hate the military.
Edit to add: Thats a lot of upvotes and I’m nervous y’all
Having said this, please be respectful to people who are actively serving or who have retired from serving our country! While they chose a life path I disagree with, they do not deserve hate. We’re all just good little beans trying to make it in this crazy world. Have a wonderful day, you beautiful creatures!
u/wholebunchofbees
replying to u/Tawny_Harpy
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
759 POINTS
How dare you choose a different life path for yourself. /s
u/Clugg
replying to u/Tawny_Harpy
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
70 POINTS
Your dad was a boot
r/justbootthings
u/asianpride95
replying to u/Clugg
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
44 POINTS
"OK Booter"
u/linderlouwho
replying to u/Tawny_Harpy
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
51 POINTS
What?!! You didn’t want to be cannon fodder for the military industrial complex?!!
u/kickstandheadass
replying to u/wholebunchofbees
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
158 POINTS
And not to be sexist, but did your Dad have a well paying job? Did she even have a job?
u/McCool303
replying to u/kickstandheadass
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
58 POINTS
I’m going to go with the cool mom great job fucking yourself into financial stability.
u/wholebunchofbees
replying to u/kickstandheadass
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
56 POINTS
Both had high paying jobs actually that they had in the 80s and through into the 90s. Jobs they stayed at for years and years. My mom was with the same company for 20 years and my dad just retired from his job that he was at for 44 years. They also own a lot of property, all rented out for extra income. It’s wild.
u/FlameSpartan
replying to u/wholebunchofbees
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
46 POINTS
And they fucking wonder why we can't buy houses for our damn selves. They're all being rented.
u/None
replying to u/tarahdactyl_x
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
74 POINTS
[deleted]
u/ani625
replying to u/tarahdactyl_x
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
47 POINTS
"Also, food isn't a right. Grow up."
u/JohnyWest86
replying to u/tarahdactyl_x
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:31
46 POINTS
"By at your age of 14 I was 25 and had a car, 3 jobs and 17 children"
u/ninaruminatti
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
12188 POINTS
"OK Boomer, what's the most effective birth control pill?"
"The most effective birth control pill is an aspirin between your knees."
[Actual quote from a friend's parent, I'll never forget it.]
u/sdrow_sdrawkcab
replying to u/ninaruminatti
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
4010 POINTS
I can totally get fucked and keep an aspirin between my knees
u/FaxCelestis
replying to u/sdrow_sdrawkcab
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
1181 POINTS
Boomers ain’t heard of doggy style?
u/Cynicaltaxiderm
replying to u/FaxCelestis
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
1109 POINTS
"Doggy-what? You're supposed to be doing it face-to-face through a hole in the sheet!"
u/troutlegs1
replying to u/Cynicaltaxiderm
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
213 POINTS
Portable glory hole?
Wrap and Fuck.
u/TushyFiddler
replying to u/sdrow_sdrawkcab
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
115 POINTS
/r/pronebone
u/sdrow_sdrawkcab
replying to u/TushyFiddler
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
65 POINTS
On side or legs in the air are also options too! Especially the former
u/immadee
replying to u/ninaruminatti
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
2025 POINTS
Oh I always heard it was a nickel between the knees.
...
I just realized I have neither aspirin nor nickels on hand. Well, guess I'm getting pregnant despite my tubal... Oopsie
u/GarnetsAndPearls
replying to u/immadee
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
198 POINTS
We were taught, it's a wedding band. eyeroll
u/mrquinn19
replying to u/ninaruminatti
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
88 POINTS
My mother has said this since I divorced my first husband.... everytime I introduced her to someone new.
u/None
replying to u/ninaruminatti
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:49
57 POINTS
Jokes on you retard us millenials are so lazy we fuck laying down in bed
u/EBandD123
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
9624 POINTS
"OK Boomer, take me to the nearest formal sit-down place"
"Ok snowflake, starting your route to Applebee's"
u/AnonymousCat21
replying to u/EBandD123
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
2451 POINTS
As an Applebee’s waitress, I appreciate this. Also 100% accurate.
Obligatory “thanks for the silver” edit! It’s my first so I’m super excited but also a lil disappointed that’s it’s on a comment about working at fucking Applebee’s.
u/aisle_8
replying to u/AnonymousCat21
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
752 POINTS
I cannot imagine the bullshit you must have to put up with on a daily basis. You're a fucking legend.
u/AnonymousCat21
replying to u/aisle_8
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
106 POINTS
Lol it’s really not much different than any other customer service job I’ve had but you can argue they’re all nightmares I guess. I live in a decently small town so most of our customers are locals who started eating here when it was the only sit down restaurant in town and know half the staff by name. I think that may attribute to them not being unbearable most of the time.
u/imagoodusername
replying to u/AnonymousCat21
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
64 POINTS
I can’t wrap my head around there being only one sit down restaurant in town and it being an Applebee’s
u/None
replying to u/AnonymousCat21
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
451 POINTS
[deleted]
u/AnonymousCat21
replying to u/None
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
606 POINTS
I mean a lot of stuff is microwaved but it’s mostly just sides like broccoli and mashed potatoes that are prepared in the morning and then heated up before posting when you order. If you order a steak or burger it’s going to be made to order.
u/PDXBlur
replying to u/AnonymousCat21
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
174 POINTS
I got ribs that were cold the other day :(
u/surfANDmusic
replying to u/PDXBlur
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
703 POINTS
Put a sweater on that'll warm your torso.
u/noized
replying to u/None
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
50 POINTS
Something tells me all of it, I mean, have you tried eating there? It's awful.
u/ronburgundi
replying to u/noized
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
88 POINTS
I broke up with a girl in part because Applebee's was legitimately her favorite restaurant.
u/Pardonme23
replying to u/ronburgundi
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
44 POINTS
Modern Seinfeld episode in the making. Sounds like Jerry move.
u/ElonMuskIs_God
replying to u/EBandD123
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
1009 POINTS
★
Survivor fans love that
u/jrbiff18
replying to u/ElonMuskIs_God
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
145 POINTS
"Karishma's favorite sitdown restaurant" is an awesome tagline for Applebee's.
u/TEFL_job_seeker
replying to u/ElonMuskIs_God
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:05:14
41 POINTS
May this meme never die
u/ostentia
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:04:18
8586 POINTS
"OK Boomer, what's the capital of Iraq?"
"Back in my day, we looked things up in an encyclopedia. Damn millennials, so obsessed with their phones."
u/ForgettableUsername
replying to u/ostentia
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:04:18
1682 POINTS
"Do you even know how to use a card catalog?"
u/therowdygent
replying to u/ForgettableUsername
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:04:18
951 POINTS
“Okay Boomer, what’s a card catalog?”
u/ForgettableUsername
replying to u/therowdygent
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:04:18
819 POINTS
You'd know if you'd ever been to the public library in 1974. They probably have some kind of twitter email thing now.
u/RolandDeshane
replying to u/ostentia
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:04:18
382 POINTS
"Why does it matter? Probably just a bunch of rubble at this point. They've been fighting for thousands of years, there's nothing that will stop them."
u/Pantelima
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:34
7203 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, what's on TV right now?"
"We only watch the news and Wheel of Fortune in this house."
u/MorganWick
replying to u/Pantelima
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:34
1254 POINTS
And only Fox qualifies as "the news".
u/TheReplacer
replying to u/MorganWick
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:34
187 POINTS
And this is why I hate Boomers. Fox news is comfort food for stupid people who just want to go back to the good old days where you could be racist.
u/agent-99
replying to u/TheReplacer
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:34
59 POINTS
it just makes them angry. comfort is not anger.
u/BassmanBiff
replying to u/agent-99
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:34
107 POINTS
In this case, I think it actually is. It's derisive anger at the rest of the world for being inferior. You get to be angry alongside an authoritative-looking person who tells you you're better than everyone else.
Fox works because it's comfortable to sit, do nothing, and shake your head about "people these days."
u/browner87
replying to u/Pantelima
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:34
726 POINTS
No Jeopardy? Shame.
u/FallopianUnibrow
replying to u/browner87
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:34
69 POINTS
Jeopardy is my Jam. I’ll win it one day, just you wait. No. You don’t understand, I don’t just answer the questions, I answer them in the proper format. Whenever I have guests over to watch with me, they sometimes answer quicker because they don’t use the format, but I score the points because I do use the format. Jeopardy is more than just a game, it’s my ticket out of Applebees. It’s so swamped here that I served a man cold ribs last week... I’m beyond whelmed, I’m overwhelmed. It’s okay, soon I’ll have my shot in sunny Los Angeles with Alex Trebek himself, he’ll see the spark in my soul. He’ll see the fire in my guts and the blood in my eyes, I’ve been training my clicking thumb you know. My response times are improving, down to .23 seconds on average. Every night after my shift, I hit Wikipedia. It’s the most efficient means of acquiring knowledge, and Knowledge I do have. This year will be mine, this is my year. Jeopardy will never have seen a winner like me before, this is my calling and my destiny.
u/_fetaljuice
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:22:42
7166 POINTS
"Ok boomer, tell me a joke"
"You snowflakes get offended over eveything. You can't even take a joke"
"Ok boomer"
"What did you say you little shit?"
u/Bruhbruhbruhistaken
replying to u/_fetaljuice
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:22:42
983 POINTS
"Initiating boomer protocol"
"What?!"
"Remember No human"
u/Little-Jim
replying to u/Bruhbruhbruhistaken
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:22:42
239 POINTS
Ok Boomer, execute Order 66
u/FPSXpert
replying to u/_fetaljuice
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:22:42
620 POINTS
Either that or "OK Boomer, tell me a joke"
proceeds to tell a racist joke that's not very funny
u/bad_news_everybody
replying to u/FPSXpert
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:22:42
432 POINTS
Watching a video clip about Mae Jemison, a black/asian astronaut who served as a Mission Specialist on Endeavor.
Boomer: "Well obviously they don't let her drive the Shuttle. She wouldn't know if she should steal it or crash it."
Who loves going home for the holidays?
u/PupperLoverDude
replying to u/bad_news_everybody
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:22:42
100 POINTS
ugh my dad is gen x and does this shit. like yeah, dad, it is racist that literally every time you see a person who isn't white you make stereotype-based jokes. even if it wasn't it's just annoying that we can't talk about or even pass on the street anyone who isn't white without some racist joke followed by a shit-eating grin and an "ohh you get offended by everything" yet if i make one white people joke it's all "hey, you can't make blanket statements like that!"
so, anyway, yeah the holidays are soo fun.
u/PlayMp1
replying to u/bad_news_everybody
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:22:42
74 POINTS
"She's a doctor and a NASA-qualified engineer, Jim."
u/Claim_to_Lame
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:52
6017 POINTS
Ok Boomer; what restaurants serve brunch near me?
"Have you tried not being gay?"
u/unnaturalorder
replying to u/Claim_to_Lame
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:52
1336 POINTS
"I tried, but this brunch thing makes it really hard to straighten out"
u/DillPixels
replying to u/Claim_to_Lame
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:52
152 POINTS
Would this device be voiced by Pierce Hawthorne? I definitely read it in his voice lol.
u/ChefNicholas
replying to u/Claim_to_Lame
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:52
124 POINTS
I enjoy this one.
u/WentzToDJax
replying to u/Claim_to_Lame
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:47:52
46 POINTS
Wait, is brunch a stereotypical thing for gays? I've never heard this.
I have tried to go to the wrong restsurant at 11:00 on a Sunday, and the place was filled with Boomers and floral dresses fresh out of church.
u/beatboxingfox
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:03:13
4801 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, where's the nearest recycling center."
"We have trash cans."
u/kiwikoopa
replying to u/beatboxingfox
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:03:13
205 POINTS
"Just throw it out the car window. The chain gang'll pick it up."
u/asphaltdragon
replying to u/kiwikoopa
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:03:13
60 POINTS
...holy shit that's terrible
u/Zayvarian
replying to u/beatboxingfox
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:03:13
77 POINTS
Uh this is so true. Recently a boomer said to me "I'm happy to keep burrying rubbish mate".
u/MagicalMonarchOfMo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:15
4069 POINTS
“OK Boomer, where’s the nearest car mechanic?”
“What, you can’t fix your car yourself? Kids these days.”
“...Boomer, my engine literally just exploded...”
“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Try not mumbling. E-nun-ci-ate, your, words.”
“Erm, right. OK Boomer, what’s the number for my insurance company?”
“You don’t have it memorized?! Sad. Where would you be without your smartphones and iTablet thingies?”
“...you know what, never mind, I’ll just walk. Thanks, Boomer.”
“Walking, finally, a good idea. Exercise. You’re all so chubby. Don’t eat right with all that Chipotle Bell stuff. And it’s thank you, not ‘thanks.’ And my response is ‘you’re welcome,’ not that ridiculous ‘no problem’ you all do.”
“.....OK Boomer, please stop now.”
“Don’t you tell me to be quiet! Have some respect for your elders! When I was your age I owned a house!”
u/HiddenLayer5
replying to u/MagicalMonarchOfMo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:15
1176 POINTS
“OK Boomer, call an ambulance!”
"Oh don't be so entitled. You can walk to the hospital yourself!"
"My legs have been torn off!!"
"Have you tried not tearing your legs off?"
u/CuntCommittee
replying to u/MagicalMonarchOfMo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:15
224 POINTS
I know a lot of people that are in a loop of “this generation is so entitled” and “I demand respect for being older than you”
u/LucasLeArtist
replying to u/MagicalMonarchOfMo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:15
65 POINTS
God I hate this one so much. I'm a pretty quiet person and I hear it every now and then.
u/halcyon_rawr
replying to u/LucasLeArtist
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:15
45 POINTS
Ugh. I hate it when older people tell me I speak too quietly. I'll speak up, obviously, but when it gets to the point that it's literally hurting my throat to speak loud enough for them to hear, that's not me being too quiet, that's them refusing to acknowledge their own hearing loss, and then taking out their frustration on someone who cannot refuse to interact with them. Had a lady at work last week harass a fellow coworker for this. Even after she heard her, she would not stop tearing into this literal teenager over her volume. I heard her, and I was twice as far away. The lady's husband, about the same age as her, and as far from my coworker as me, heard my coworker, and kept trying to make his rude wife shut up. I felt bad for the husband, he looked so embarrassed that his wife was harassing this child.
Best part was when the lady noticed that one of her pennies was 'rare', spouting off how she was going to sell it and be rich, as if we all should feel bad now for telling her to leave the teenager alone, based on her potential fortune. It was a shield penny from 2015, and wasn't abnormal at all. I enjoyed showing her more shield pennies from the drawer, while she watched with a permanent glare, and a fading light in her eyes. Harass my precious teenaged coworkers and I will crush your dreams.
u/Commander_Shepard_
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
3851 POINTS
"OK Boomer, open Indeed!"
"You don't need Indeed! Just walk on in and give a firm handshake you entitled brat. And while you're at it, you can send out resumes in the mail. I bet you don't even know what stamps are you avocado-toast-eating millennial!"
u/OnCommence17
replying to u/Commander_Shepard_
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
951 POINTS
You keep bitching about not being able to find a job, but I don't see you out there pounding the pavement and knocking on doors.
u/Doublestack2376
replying to u/OnCommence17
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
522 POINTS
I honestly wish this was more like it used to be. I applied for dozens of jobs, and the only thing I got contacted on were the places that are really shit jobs with high turnover and the 2 places I knew people.
u/LockeLamoraLies
replying to u/Doublestack2376
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
460 POINTS
I have a fucking masters degree and I can't find a fucking job. I wish I could just go into the office and hand in my resume.
u/Doublestack2376
replying to u/LockeLamoraLies
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
544 POINTS
And to top it all off, in my first interview the HR guy tried asking me technical questions and said that if it weren't for my friend's recommendation he wouldn't have passed me to the next round of interviews.
The reason he thought I didn't know enough for the job is because he didn't have a clue about what he was asking. I was trying to be polite and give him the benefit of the doubt that maybe he knew more than I did, but no, he was just an idiot with my future in his hands. My buddy was PISSED and reamed him out for asking things he doesn't know the answer to.
Seriously good luck, it's shitty out there.
u/Sparkism
replying to u/Doublestack2376
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
514 POINTS
I had a phone interview today and the guy asked me how can you tell an email is not legit or contains a virus.
And I said, well, for the average user, you can't. Most people would look at an email address and assume that's where it's coming from because while spoofing emails isn't that common, if someone's spear phishing, they can make it look convincing.
And he said, no, I'm asking how YOU tell if an email isn't legit or has a virus. What steps would you take to determine if an email is safe.
And I said, if I had to dig further to find out whether an email is legit, I would have to look at the email header and determine whether the information there matches with the domain DNS. Maybe there's a dkim key. Maybe the mx record points to one server and the email was received from another. There are many other factors we can use, for example call the sender on your phone and see if they sent you something if it doesn't sound like an email they normally send you.
And then he said, no, that's not what we're looking for. Why didn't you just do a virus scan on the computer? That tells you right away if there's a virus.
I'm at a total loss of words. I forgot that not opening email attachments from suspicious sources isn't the default thing that people do.
u/frickineh
replying to u/Sparkism
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
331 POINTS
Oh. Oh jesus. I don't even know that guy and I actively dislike him. WhY dOn'T yOu JuSt Do A vIrUs ScAn. People like him are the reason we have to take annual cyber security training at work.
u/Sparkism
replying to u/frickineh
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
129 POINTS
Ha, how about we educate our employees and don't let it get to a point where we use the virus scan as a clutch
u/blackhat8287
replying to u/Commander_Shepard_
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
205 POINTS
“Don’t forget to maintain eye contact and good posture.”
u/punkterminator
replying to u/Commander_Shepard_
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:53:34
161 POINTS
The Immigrant Boomer Edition rants about how back in their day, people wouldn't even look at their resume because they're brown and have an ethnic name and that you should be grateful that there's apparently no more hiring discrimination. Maybe that rant will extend to how you should be grateful that you don't need to worry about racist landlords anymore, or that you don't get beaten up for you race or religion. The rant ends with them telling you that you need to get a good job because they did not cross an ocean for you to be a freeloader.
u/gaberoman
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:42
2349 POINTS
Ok boomer, the job market is so competitive. How can I get a job?
Ya just need gumption! (Proceeds to talk about how they got a job from just walking in and demanding it)
u/Pyrrhape
replying to u/gaberoman
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:42
936 POINTS
Instructions unclear, police had to drag me out of the reception area.
u/typeyhands
replying to u/Pyrrhape
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:42
393 POINTS
Instructions unclear, bootstraps pulled all the way up to ears.
u/MissSangwitch
replying to u/gaberoman
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:42
449 POINTS
Step 1: Firmly grasp bootstraps.
Step 2: Pull.
u/pm_me_your_molars
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:31
2232 POINTS
You: "OK Boomer, what are the local showtimes for Avengers?"
Digital Assistant: "I can't figure me out, you have to show me how to work myself, why am I so slow?"
You: "Goddamnit stop running all those malware programs."
u/smileedude
replying to u/pm_me_your_molars
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:31
892 POINTS
Digital Assistant: "Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
"Would you like to meet singles in your area"
u/pm_me_your_molars
replying to u/smileedude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:31
730 POINTS
"OK Boomer, is there Thai food near me?"
"THIS WOMAN LOST 50 POUNDS FOLLOWING THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK! DOCTORS HATE HER!"
u/I_GO_BOOM_BOOM
replying to u/smileedude
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:31
44 POINTS
well of course I would, he's me
u/Wjreky
replying to u/pm_me_your_molars
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:01:31
158 POINTS
"why do I have all of these toolbars?"
u/Hq3473
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:17:47
1561 POINTS
"OK boomer, volume up"
"What, you wanna become deaf?"
u/ForgettableUsername
replying to u/Hq3473
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:17:47
97 POINTS
Don't sit so close to the tv, it will ruin your eyesight.
u/LiterallyMechanical
replying to u/Hq3473
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:17:47
52 POINTS
For real though, I had a professor who was a bit hard of hearing and would sometimes have to ask students to speak up when asking questions. She says that she didn't actually lose her hearing, because she knows exactly where she left it -- on the dance floor of her favorite nightclub in Manhattan.
u/nagynorbie
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:01
1537 POINTS
Ok Boomer, can you please auto-fill my credit card details on this site ?
What, you want to give your details to a stranger ? Are you nuts ? Just go drive a half an hour to the store and buy it in person, it's safer that way.
u/AngryZen_Ingress
replying to u/nagynorbie
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:01
1219 POINTS
Proceeds to download malware that gives all bank info to Eastern Europe hackers.
u/AngelFears1676
replying to u/AngryZen_Ingress
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:32:01
126 POINTS
Or give their info to the "nice Saudi prince who wants to give me an inheritance "
u/anyahwtf
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
1526 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, set my alarm for 9:00 AM tomorrow."
"9:00? Are you sure? I see in your calendar that your flight boards at 10:30 and taking into account how it takes 30 minutes to get to the airport, that only leaves you with 1 hour to make it to your gate in time. Why don't I set your alarm for 5:00 AM instead? Or maybe 6:00, if you really want to sleep in?"
u/doubleenginefailure
replying to u/anyahwtf
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
622 POINTS
Hey, thats no boomer! That's me, an older millenial! Unless... deep down.....
Oh no.
u/qvaken
replying to u/doubleenginefailure
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
398 POINTS
Don't worry, I'm also an older millennial and I thought, "Boomer's got a point there..."
u/Thanatosst
replying to u/qvaken
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
55 POINTS
What's better: freaking out about missing your flight due to traffic, long security lines, undermanned check-in counters, etc. and barely squeezing onto the plane as they're about to close the doors
Or
Getting day drunk stress free for an hour and a half before your flight starts boarding
u/Voittaa
replying to u/anyahwtf
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
423 POINTS
"I'll give you a ride earlier, traffic on 294 is a nightmare, they still have all that construction. how many years has it been? I took your sister last week and we spent 20 minutes in a dead stop. damn semis everywhere too you really oughta be careful. and security at the airport is gonna be hell this time of year, best leave 8 hours early."
u/None
replying to u/Voittaa
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
206 POINTS
[deleted]
u/ForgettableUsername
replying to u/None
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
119 POINTS
"These Wifi printers aren't reliable, you should just buy the ticket from a travel agent. I'll give you a phone number to call and you can fax her the details."
u/Raab2908
replying to u/anyahwtf
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
82 POINTS
Actually, this one doesn't sound that bad
u/darkslide3000
replying to u/Raab2908
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:41:32
69 POINTS
Yeah, if you get up (not even leave the house) at 9am for a 10:30 flight, you're basically begging for a bad surprise.
u/slayalldayyyy
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:53
1479 POINTS
“Ok Boomer, what should I wear today” THE WHITE NEW BALANCES! ALWAYS THE WHITE NEW BALANCES!
u/SquiffyRae
replying to u/slayalldayyyy
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:53
193 POINTS
It's either the white new balances or the classic Dunlop KT-26
u/slayalldayyyy
replying to u/SquiffyRae
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:53
212 POINTS
I’ve never seen this shoe. I sort of like it. Oh god am I pre-boomopausal???
u/SquiffyRae
replying to u/slayalldayyyy
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:15:53
88 POINTS
These things are like the old man shoe of choice in Australia. Dunno how popular they are in other countries
u/donteatmee3333
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:50:32
1025 POINTS
Ok Boomer: remind me to take my medication
You don’t need that stuff! Just snap out of it!
u/surf_da_web29
replying to u/donteatmee3333
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:50:32
87 POINTS
having a seizure? just get off the floor ya idiot!
u/metaknight95
replying to u/surf_da_web29
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:50:32
53 POINTS
This is absolutely hilarious. I can picture some kid having a seizure as a boomer reprimands him for it
"Damn kids this is what happens when you play those video games and download all those viruses from AOL"
u/TheFlemishBlemish
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:59:03
972 POINTS
"Figure it out for yourself" and "Do it yourself"
would be the only lines of dialogue on the chip.
u/DeathSpiral321
replying to u/TheFlemishBlemish
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:59:03
220 POINTS
"Read a book about it"
u/Bionicjoker
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:28:50
887 POINTS
“Ok Boomer, do I need to go to college?”
“Hell no, just get a job at a factory and buy a house right out of high school!”
u/AreWeCowabunga
replying to u/Bionicjoker
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:28:50
1022 POINTS
I don't think that's the real ok, boomer answer to that question. Their answer would be more like:
"You need to go to college. It doesn't matter how much it costs, just get loans."
Then:
"Ok, boomer, I've got my degree and so much debt I can barely afford to survive. What do I do now?"
"You shouldn't have taken on so much debt for a useless degree."
u/Allthemedals
replying to u/AreWeCowabunga
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:28:50
255 POINTS
I feel attacked.
u/ooo-ooo-oooyea
replying to u/AreWeCowabunga
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:28:50
197 POINTS
my parents are older boomers, and they still have the belief that people will give you money just for having a degree
u/Allthemedals
replying to u/ooo-ooo-oooyea
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:28:50
176 POINTS
Did you try a good work ethic and a positive mental attitude? You basically can cover a mortgage payment on those two things alone.
u/Shpookie_Angel
replying to u/Bionicjoker
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:28:50
48 POINTS
Couldn't you have inherited something good from me? I am so disappointed in your generation. Lazy.
u/Laymans_Terms19
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:20
776 POINTS
“OK Boomer, open my mail messages”
“I’m sorry, there’s no mail delivery on Sundays.”
u/AnOnlineHandle
replying to u/Laymans_Terms19
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:20
156 POINTS
That part is very uncharacteristic of boomers.
u/Subtitles_Required
replying to u/Laymans_Terms19
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:20
49 POINTS
No post on Sundays
u/Ricky_RZ
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:51
694 POINTS
"OK Boomer, tell me about how life was so easy in your time"
"I had a part time job moving boxes and I could support a stay at home wife, 3 kids, 2 dogs, a cat, a car, and what is basically a mansion in today's world. I don't get why you always complain that life is so hard"
u/doireallywannadothis
replying to u/Ricky_RZ
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:26:51
66 POINTS
Nah, houses used to be way smaller. That's actually one of the reasons houses are so hard to afford now, they make them so much bigger and more luxurious.
u/Whenitrainsitpours86
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:55
617 POINTS
"OK Boomer, show me job application links" "Here are the addresses of nearby offices with job listings. Their office hours are 9-5, so show up at 8:30 and expect an interview."
u/moronicuniform
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:50:00
568 POINTS
"OK Boomer, how do I fix my crushing debt"
"ORDERING. ONE PAIR. BOOTSTRAPS."
u/YeetVegetabales
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:51:34
556 POINTS
How do I get rid of student loans?
Work hard, stop being lazy and useless all the time. I used to work 40 hours a day in the fields
u/tacodoge69
replying to u/YeetVegetabales
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:51:34
125 POINTS
r/holup
u/williamfbuckwheat
replying to u/YeetVegetabales
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:51:34
49 POINTS
"Did you try working a part time summer job for like 1 summer instead of eating avocado toast every night???"
u/losersftw
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:18:52
489 POINTS
“Ok Boomer, which radio station should I listen to?”
“Doesn’t matter, music nowadays is all trash”
u/bigsalad98
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:47:22
406 POINTS
"Ok boomer, how should I ask her out?"
Boomer: "Back in my day, we didn't ask"
u/i_fuckin_luv_it_mate
replying to u/bigsalad98
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:47:22
166 POINTS
"okay cosby, please shut down for 3 to 10 years. You're going back in the box"
u/popeye_talks
replying to u/bigsalad98
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:47:22
49 POINTS
Cursed Comment
u/bearofcholes
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:37:28
395 POINTS
"how can I afford college?" "Get a higher paying job" "How can I get a raise?" "Get a degree"
u/HiddenLayer5
replying to u/bearofcholes
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:37:28
70 POINTS
"Have you tried not being poor?"
u/Roc_City
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:20:54
305 POINTS
"Ok boomer, where is the nearest park"
"When I was your age me and your grandmother would walk to Wilson park and have malts"
u/Meetybeefy
replying to u/Roc_City
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:20:54
146 POINTS
That sounds more like a Silent Generation response.
u/1of9Heathens
replying to u/Meetybeefy
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:20:54
75 POINTS
And cuter than 99% of these
u/windwaker3656
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:04:13
276 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, h-"
"IT'S PAST 9 PM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING AWAKE? THIS GENERATION CAN'T GO A MINUTE WITHOUT USING THEIR DAMN PHONES."
u/trixabellian_Quartz
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:18:20
267 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, what does [insert word] mean?"
"Oh my god get a dictionary and get off your phone. Go into the real world and maybe get a job. God, this generation is doomed." (Probably longer but I'm too lazy to type)
u/MorganWick
replying to u/trixabellian_Quartz
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:18:20
336 POINTS
Lazy millennials can't even be bothered to finish their jokes.
u/Weeabootrash7
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:29:33
252 POINTS
Go in and ask for an application in person. Employers like people that take the initiative to get in there and ask.
u/MechanicalHorse
replying to u/Weeabootrash7
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:29:33
123 POINTS
Just walk in, ask to speak to the guy in charge, then give him a firm handshake while you look him straight in the eye and tell him you want the job.
u/metaknight95
replying to u/MechanicalHorse
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:29:33
111 POINTS
My dad made me do this shit as a teenager, and it was absolutely awful.
"Hi I would really appreciate this job"
"I have nothing to do with the hiring process and the application is filled out online"
Walk back out to the car
"He said the applications are all online, like I told you"
"Online? You can't trust anything online these days with all that malvirus stuff. I knew this was a shady company"
u/motherofpudding
replying to u/metaknight95
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:29:33
77 POINTS
Same here.. went through the mortifying process of walking from one rejection into the next in my local mall because my parents decided that I should be self-sufficient when I turned 14. All I heard was “go online” and “you’re too young anyway”. My parents were so surprised that people wouldn’t take a 14 year old handing resumes out in person because ~they~ got work like that in the 60s.
It was soul crushing.
u/vboak
replying to u/Weeabootrash7
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:29:33
101 POINTS
You got to Pound. That. Pavement. Just like they did in 1977.
u/IDontGetItexe
replying to u/Weeabootrash7
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:29:33
52 POINTS
If I worked in HQ I would kick you out the minute you storm into my office demanding a job while disrespecting the manner all other candidates apply for the job by
u/LonelyPauper
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:00:41
247 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, start my PC."
Boomer: "I told you I'm not a computer person! You're not helping me so I'm hanging up now. Goodbye!"
u/escalation
replying to u/LonelyPauper
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:00:41
48 POINTS
"Ok. I pushed the round thingy. Would you like me to automatically click yes on all the little boxes that are popping up on the screen? Isn't BonziBuddy cute? I just love purple Gorillas"
u/FalafelsOnWaffles
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:47:54
221 POINTS
Turns on phone
"On your phone? Again? Kids these days, always got their eyes glued to a screen."
u/gaff2049
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:47:26
219 POINTS
How do yo retire comfortably boomer?
You graduate high school, get a job with a large company, buy a house by 25, work for 45 years, get retirement with a paid off house.
u/DirtyPrancin
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:10:34
177 POINTS
"Ok Boomer. Which candidate should I vote for?"
"Searching for sexual criminals in your county."
u/pol_pots
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:18:07
165 POINTS
OK Boomer, what’s the news today?
“I saw on Facebook that the liberals are....”
u/DeathSpiral321
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:13
156 POINTS
"OK Boomer, give me a recipe for apple pie"
"Get in your car, drive 4 blocks down main street until you arrive at the library. Ask the librarian for a recipe book."
u/Ayayaya3
replying to u/DeathSpiral321
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:13
107 POINTS
Wait don’t boomers and older all have like little box of index cards with recipes on them
u/TimeWarpCat
replying to u/Ayayaya3
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:41:13
77 POINTS
Like hell youre going to get my secret recipes!
u/IAmTrashAtNames
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:44:25
160 POINTS
This is a god tier question, I’m really hoping it’s not a repost.
u/Pegg_Legg
replying to u/IAmTrashAtNames
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:44:25
119 POINTS
The idea is directly taken from a Jacksfilms video .
u/SeverelyModerate
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:17:59
147 POINTS
This - somehow - set off my actually “OK Google” at home??
u/_fresh_basil_
replying to u/SeverelyModerate
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:17:59
56 POINTS
Came here to see if it was happening for anyone else. Lol
u/cricketjacked
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 04:37:18
142 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, what restaurants are around me?"
"THERE IS AN OLIVE GARDEN AND AN APPLEBEE'S 5 MILES AWAy FrOM WheReE YOU ARE NOW PERIOD NO STOP DON'T TYPE THAT YOU STUPID PHONE. THAT OLIVE GARDEN SAYS THAT IT OFFERS UNLIMITED BREADSTICKS BUT THEY CUT ME OFF AFTER SIX BOWLS AND TOLD ME THAT I HAD TO chooSE SOMETHING FROM THe MENu. THE WAITER WASN'T FILLING OUR DRINKS FAST ENOUGH EITHER, SO I SNAPPED MY FINGERS AT HIM TO GET HIS ATTENTION. HE DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE. THERE GOES HIS TIP!!! ANYWAY, I HOPE YOU ARE DOING ALRIGHT. YOUR UNCLE IS IN THE HOSPITAL AGAIN. THEY SAY HE's NOT LOOKING TOO GOOD. YOU SHOULD VISIT HIM. IT MIGHT BE THE LAST TIME YOU SEE HIM BEFORE HE DIES PERIOD NO TYPE A PERIOD AND SEND--"
u/grab_ur_rape_whistle
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:26:37
129 POINTS
“Quit being a bitch and work harder, no one is going to give you shit.”
u/TheColdThought
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:37:57
113 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, when is International Women's Day?"
"What about International Men's Day? When's that eh?"
u/BigCockMcGee12
replying to u/TheColdThought
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:37:57
54 POINTS
November 19th, in case anybody's wondering.
u/Rabidleopard
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:29:29
100 POINTS
Ok boomer, take me to this address in the Loop.
You don't want to go there it's a bad neighbor you'll get shoy.
u/MrMager
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 05:53:59
96 POINTS
OK Boomer, wake me up at 6:00
wakes you up at 5:00
“Get up, its 6:00!!!”
u/mycological-amatoxin
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:41:54
96 POINTS
"OK Boomer, how do I apply for a job?"
"You walk into the place you want to work at with your resume printed out, ask for an application. Then you sit down, fill it out, and hand it in!
Then you ask to speak to their boss so you can shake their hand."
u/ThisisSeen
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:44:55
97 POINTS
"Ok Boomer, why are you racist"
"I'm not racist, I have a black friend"
u/Meetybeefy
replying to u/ThisisSeen
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:44:55
40 POINTS
"BLM are the racists and racism was started under Obama"
u/FreeSkeptic
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 05:13:26
87 POINTS
“Ok Boomer, what’s the weather like today?”
“It’s very chilly today. That means climate change is a hoax.”
u/OneSalientOversight
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:38:26
79 POINTS
"OK Boomer, where's the nearest club?"
"There's no way you're going out looking like that"
u/Kyhunsheo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 05:02:22
64 POINTS
"Okay, Boomer. Please help me find the closest oil change service"
"You seriously are going to pay for an oil change? Did your dad not teach you to be a man? Anyways, what you want to do is go to the nearest local Auto Parts store. You need to figure out what oil you need in the manual that's in your glove box. Generally, 5W-30 is a safe bet. Now you wanna find a good filter. Don't ask the clerk, just use the book that's by the filters and find what you need. Anyways, just take it back to the garage and change it yourself. There, I saved you $30 from that overpriced service."
u/ronburgundi
replying to u/Kyhunsheo
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 05:02:22
51 POINTS
Gonna stop ya right there chief, any boomer worth their salt would recommend you run 20W50 conventional oil and a shitty orange Fram filter no matter what type of car it is.
u/TeboeCubes
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:53:43
66 POINTS
“Ok Boomer, how do I get to Starbucks?”
“What, to get one of your vegan organic caramel vanilla millennial frappuccinos?”
“Just tell me how to get there”
“Just use a roadmap like everyone else”
(mumbling under breath) “Yeah, like everyone else over 60”
”What was that?”
“I said... Ok boomer, call Starbucks”
“Why? Don’t know how to use a phone book?”
“Why would I need to know that when I have a digital assistant?”
”Ugh, you millennials think your so entitled to ‘digital assistants’”
u/Jervillian_Swike
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:08:33
67 POINTS
OK Boomer, what's the recipe for vegan paleo power-boost pancakes with chia- and flax-seed, and beetroot dressing?
Boomer: "GraaaghlghlghahrghgRAAAAAAGHLGGHHHHGNNNN!!!!!!!"
u/actualspaceturtle
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 05:30:48
61 POINTS
"OK, Boomer. Call Jessica from work."
"Who's Jessica? Do you have a girlfriend I don't know about?"
"It's not like that and it would be super weird if--"
"In my day I'd squeeze her fanny to show I'm interested."
"That's incredibly inappropriate. Can you just--?"
"Call history shows you haven't called your grandma in a while."
"Yeah, but she just drones on for h--"
"Calling grandma..."
u/Magnum3k
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:06:53
54 POINTS
Ok boomer, how are the 49ers doing?
Not sure but Joe Montana is 10x better than Tom Brady
u/YoderMcLongDong
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 05:19:52
54 POINTS
Me: "Ok Boomer, directions to disneyland."
Phone: "GPS? Ok is that the one with a G on it?"
Me: "No that's google. It's the one that says maps."
Phone: "Hold on let me put my glasses on. Why do they have to put it in such tiny letters? I'm just gonna turn the music down so I can see. Ah here it is. Now where did you want to go? Disneyland? Is that the one in Florida or California? You know when I was a kid me and my entire family went to Disney out in California and...(continues on anecdote)"
Me: "Fuck it I'll do it myself!"
u/slayalldayyyy
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:59:20
54 POINTS
“Ok Boomer, play music.” STEELY DAN INTENSIFIES
u/Allthemedals
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:19:23
59 POINTS
“Ok Boomer play Despacito”
Phone dials INS
u/DoctarSwag
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 02:49:09
51 POINTS
This just made me realize I can change the ok Google keyword on my phone to ok boomer.
u/_-Tsunami-_
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 05:40:49
46 POINTS
"Okay Boomer, how will the world end?"
"You millenials fucked it up, you guys are the reason we're gonna die! And don't try arguing with me! Your guys's generation can't even decide if its a boy or girl!"
u/Angelusthegreat
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 01:33:29
50 POINTS
Back in my day...
u/927comewhatmay
POSTED AT 2019-11-25 03:21:42
43 POINTS
Being late Gen X, I’ve seen all this before back when the boomers said it to the Greatest Generation, and when Gen X said it to Boomers.
I hope I don’t die young. I want to see all the Millennials sellout and get picked on for being crabby old doofuses by Generation Whatever.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.